moment backstage seems like a lifetime ago now compared to the panic attack I just experienced. When I’m struck by anxiety, it’s like everything else is pushed into the background and all my mind can focus on is panic, panic, panic . Nothing else matters. Even if my logical brain tells me that the exit is only a few steps away,my body just won’t listen. It’s like the two are separated from each other by the beast of anxiety. “Oh no, it’s not from that—these were happy tears.”
Megan smiles. “Do you want me to walk with you back to your seat?”
“Sure. It’s upstairs . . . but—oh, I don’t even know exactly where it is.” That’s when I realize that I don’t have my ticket with me. I must have left it in Noah’s dressing room—along with my camera, jacket, purse, and backstage pass. As I explain everything to Megan I can feel myself getting frustrated. I can’t believe my excitement led me to make such a silly mistake.
“Don’t worry about that.” Megan strolls straight up to the nearest security guard, flicking her chestnut hair. “This is Penny Porter—she’s Noah Flynn’s girlfriend. She left her ticket backstage and she needs to get back to his dressing room.”
The security guard gives us both a sceptical look. “Yeah right, and I’m Prince Harry.”
“Sir, please,” I say. “I just came out of the stage door in the front . . .”
“Look, girls, why don’t you go back to the concert and enjoy it like everybody else. No more of these silly games.”
“It’s not a game,” says Megan. She manages to keep her calm exterior, even though I feel like I’m about to break down. “Look, sir, if you’ll find someone from Noah’s entourage they will recognize her and explain.”
He folds his arms across his chest. He’s not going to budge one bit. “If you don’t return to the concert now, I’m going to escort you from the premises.”
“This is outrageous!” says Megan. “When Noah finds out about this, you’re going to be fired!”
I drag her away from the security guard before he can put her in handcuffs, or whatever it is that scary-looking security guards do. I can feel him still glaring at us as we talk in the hallway. “I appreciate you sticking up for me but I—I think I want to go.”
“Are you sure?” Megan puts a comforting arm round me. “You can just come back with me into the stalls?”
I shake my head. “Noah will find me if I’m at home.”
“OK,” she says, understanding. We may have fallen out recently, but she still knows a lot about me. “I’ll come with you, make sure you get home safe.”
“Really? You don’t have to do that. I can just . . .” I was going to say “call Tom,” but that’s not an option either as I’ve lost my phone and I don’t have his new number memorized. “It’s not that far to walk. And, besides, you’ll miss The Sketch and I know you were really excited about seeing them.”
Megan links her arm into mine. “I think you need me more than I need to see The Sketch right now. Plus, I could use some fresh air. The crowd was crazy.”
Megan being so nice to me still makes me feel uneasy, but I can’t hear any hint of bad intention in her voice. We walk together towards the exit.
As soon as we get outside, we discover that the rain has reduced to a drizzle. As the Brighton sea breeze whips through my hair, I feel it sweep some of my panic away. My chest still feels tight and my palms are sweaty, but Megan is clinging on to my arm like she’s afraid I could blow away at any moment. I couldn’t be more thankful to her.
“Do you want to grab some candy floss from the pier?” she asks. “The sugar might help.”
I smile and nod. “Sounds good.”
We stroll beneath the bright lights of the pier entrance, and I can see the waves crashing under us through the gaps in the wooden planks. We pick the stall with the brightest selection of candy floss and share a big white-and-pink swirl. I
Megan smiles. “Do you want me to walk with you back to your seat?”
“Sure. It’s upstairs . . . but—oh, I don’t even know exactly where it is.” That’s when I realize that I don’t have my ticket with me. I must have left it in Noah’s dressing room—along with my camera, jacket, purse, and backstage pass. As I explain everything to Megan I can feel myself getting frustrated. I can’t believe my excitement led me to make such a silly mistake.
“Don’t worry about that.” Megan strolls straight up to the nearest security guard, flicking her chestnut hair. “This is Penny Porter—she’s Noah Flynn’s girlfriend. She left her ticket backstage and she needs to get back to his dressing room.”
The security guard gives us both a sceptical look. “Yeah right, and I’m Prince Harry.”
“Sir, please,” I say. “I just came out of the stage door in the front . . .”
“Look, girls, why don’t you go back to the concert and enjoy it like everybody else. No more of these silly games.”
“It’s not a game,” says Megan. She manages to keep her calm exterior, even though I feel like I’m about to break down. “Look, sir, if you’ll find someone from Noah’s entourage they will recognize her and explain.”
He folds his arms across his chest. He’s not going to budge one bit. “If you don’t return to the concert now, I’m going to escort you from the premises.”
“This is outrageous!” says Megan. “When Noah finds out about this, you’re going to be fired!”
I drag her away from the security guard before he can put her in handcuffs, or whatever it is that scary-looking security guards do. I can feel him still glaring at us as we talk in the hallway. “I appreciate you sticking up for me but I—I think I want to go.”
“Are you sure?” Megan puts a comforting arm round me. “You can just come back with me into the stalls?”
I shake my head. “Noah will find me if I’m at home.”
“OK,” she says, understanding. We may have fallen out recently, but she still knows a lot about me. “I’ll come with you, make sure you get home safe.”
“Really? You don’t have to do that. I can just . . .” I was going to say “call Tom,” but that’s not an option either as I’ve lost my phone and I don’t have his new number memorized. “It’s not that far to walk. And, besides, you’ll miss The Sketch and I know you were really excited about seeing them.”
Megan links her arm into mine. “I think you need me more than I need to see The Sketch right now. Plus, I could use some fresh air. The crowd was crazy.”
Megan being so nice to me still makes me feel uneasy, but I can’t hear any hint of bad intention in her voice. We walk together towards the exit.
As soon as we get outside, we discover that the rain has reduced to a drizzle. As the Brighton sea breeze whips through my hair, I feel it sweep some of my panic away. My chest still feels tight and my palms are sweaty, but Megan is clinging on to my arm like she’s afraid I could blow away at any moment. I couldn’t be more thankful to her.
“Do you want to grab some candy floss from the pier?” she asks. “The sugar might help.”
I smile and nod. “Sounds good.”
We stroll beneath the bright lights of the pier entrance, and I can see the waves crashing under us through the gaps in the wooden planks. We pick the stall with the brightest selection of candy floss and share a big white-and-pink swirl. I
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