finally look at him. Mum bites her bottom lip like she does when she sees something bad in someone’s future.
‘I’m leaving,’ Dad says for the third time. ‘Your mum and I have had a talk and we think it’s the best thing for me to do.’
Mum gets up and goes inside the house. Felicity says nothing. I put my fingers in my ears, as if there is still water in them from all the swimming I did last night.
Dad exhales, almost as though he’s relieved. ‘We weren’t going to say anything until after Christmas, but I can’t wait that long. And there’s never going to be a good time.’
Felicity blinks at Dad.
I pick up a bowl and offer him a chip. I can’t think of anything else to do.
8
Felicity and I are banished to our bedrooms. She keeps coming through our shared bathroom and knocking on my closed door, but I pretend to be asleep. I can’t face her.
I can’t sleep. When the light under our bathroom door goes out, I creep along the hallway to my parents’ bedroom. The door is open and the light is on. Dad is in there. A suitcase lies on the bed and Dad is filling it with clothes.
I go to his wardrobe and take out his Hawaiian shirt and the board shorts I gave him last Christmas.
‘Thanks, Possum,’ he says, and packs them into the suitcase.
I go back to his wardrobe and grab hold of a pile of t-shirts and jeans and shorts. I place them on top of the other things.
‘Hey, are you trying to get rid of me?’ he says.
‘The sooner you go, the sooner you’ll be back,’ I say, trying to keep my voice bright.
I hold up his blue-and-red striped jumper. ‘You probably won’t need this, but the nights might be cool if you’re out walking on the beach or if you go into the mountains,’ I say. I push the jumper into his hands.
‘You should take a raincoat in case you go rock fishing.’ I grab his coat off its hanger and roll it up. ‘And you’ll need your reef shoes so you don’t slip on the rocks.’ I dig the shoes out from the sliding storage box under the bed.
Dad grabs my wrists and sits on the bed so he is my height. ‘I’m not going on holiday, Paige.’
‘Then … where are you going?’
‘Well, tonight I’m going to stay with a … a friend and tomorrow I’ll start looking for a new place to live.’
‘But what’s wrong with this place? You’ve lived here for nearly twenty years. I thought you liked it. It’s our home.’
Dad sighs. ‘Remember how we talked about changes and that some changes are good?’
I nod.
‘Well, this is a change Mum and I need to make to start feeling good again. I hope one day you’ll understand and you’ll forgive me for leaving.’
I nod again, not understanding and not forgiving.
Dad zips the suitcase closed and heaves it off the bed. ‘I’ll come over on Christmas Day, okay? That’s only a few days away. But I’ll call you before then and you can call me on my mobile anytime.’
He carries the suitcase to the front door, past the spare room. The door is closed and I can hear the lilting sound of panpipe music. Mum is burning frankincense. It’s usually one of my favourite scents, but tonight it makes me feel sick.
Dad puts down his suitcase and fumbles through his pockets for his car keys.
‘Aren’t you going to say goodbye to Mum and Felicity?’ I ask.
‘I’ve already said goodbye to them, Poss.’
He hugs me and I hug him back fiercely, thinking that my physical strength is all that’s needed to keep him here. But he peels my fingers off his back and steps through the front door, quickly pulling it closed behind him.
He didn’t even look at me. I realise that if I hadn’t come out of my bedroom when I did, he would not have said goodbye.
* *
I wake up early the next morning with a weird, hollow feeling in my chest. I go to my parents’ room and stare at my father’s side of the bed. It’s empty.
I go to the wardrobe in my bedroom and dig up my Passport. It’s empty, too.
Everything that happened in the past
‘I’m leaving,’ Dad says for the third time. ‘Your mum and I have had a talk and we think it’s the best thing for me to do.’
Mum gets up and goes inside the house. Felicity says nothing. I put my fingers in my ears, as if there is still water in them from all the swimming I did last night.
Dad exhales, almost as though he’s relieved. ‘We weren’t going to say anything until after Christmas, but I can’t wait that long. And there’s never going to be a good time.’
Felicity blinks at Dad.
I pick up a bowl and offer him a chip. I can’t think of anything else to do.
8
Felicity and I are banished to our bedrooms. She keeps coming through our shared bathroom and knocking on my closed door, but I pretend to be asleep. I can’t face her.
I can’t sleep. When the light under our bathroom door goes out, I creep along the hallway to my parents’ bedroom. The door is open and the light is on. Dad is in there. A suitcase lies on the bed and Dad is filling it with clothes.
I go to his wardrobe and take out his Hawaiian shirt and the board shorts I gave him last Christmas.
‘Thanks, Possum,’ he says, and packs them into the suitcase.
I go back to his wardrobe and grab hold of a pile of t-shirts and jeans and shorts. I place them on top of the other things.
‘Hey, are you trying to get rid of me?’ he says.
‘The sooner you go, the sooner you’ll be back,’ I say, trying to keep my voice bright.
I hold up his blue-and-red striped jumper. ‘You probably won’t need this, but the nights might be cool if you’re out walking on the beach or if you go into the mountains,’ I say. I push the jumper into his hands.
‘You should take a raincoat in case you go rock fishing.’ I grab his coat off its hanger and roll it up. ‘And you’ll need your reef shoes so you don’t slip on the rocks.’ I dig the shoes out from the sliding storage box under the bed.
Dad grabs my wrists and sits on the bed so he is my height. ‘I’m not going on holiday, Paige.’
‘Then … where are you going?’
‘Well, tonight I’m going to stay with a … a friend and tomorrow I’ll start looking for a new place to live.’
‘But what’s wrong with this place? You’ve lived here for nearly twenty years. I thought you liked it. It’s our home.’
Dad sighs. ‘Remember how we talked about changes and that some changes are good?’
I nod.
‘Well, this is a change Mum and I need to make to start feeling good again. I hope one day you’ll understand and you’ll forgive me for leaving.’
I nod again, not understanding and not forgiving.
Dad zips the suitcase closed and heaves it off the bed. ‘I’ll come over on Christmas Day, okay? That’s only a few days away. But I’ll call you before then and you can call me on my mobile anytime.’
He carries the suitcase to the front door, past the spare room. The door is closed and I can hear the lilting sound of panpipe music. Mum is burning frankincense. It’s usually one of my favourite scents, but tonight it makes me feel sick.
Dad puts down his suitcase and fumbles through his pockets for his car keys.
‘Aren’t you going to say goodbye to Mum and Felicity?’ I ask.
‘I’ve already said goodbye to them, Poss.’
He hugs me and I hug him back fiercely, thinking that my physical strength is all that’s needed to keep him here. But he peels my fingers off his back and steps through the front door, quickly pulling it closed behind him.
He didn’t even look at me. I realise that if I hadn’t come out of my bedroom when I did, he would not have said goodbye.
* *
I wake up early the next morning with a weird, hollow feeling in my chest. I go to my parents’ room and stare at my father’s side of the bed. It’s empty.
I go to the wardrobe in my bedroom and dig up my Passport. It’s empty, too.
Everything that happened in the past
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