goin’ with the flow like the rest of us, while you still can.”
“I am . . . I mean, I will. I have been frustrated a lot lately, and I’m getting damn sick of it.”
“That’s why you are doin’ somethin’ about it,” Rhoda told me.
“And Louis is the perfect specimen for you to experiment with for your first affair.”
I couldn’t believe my ears! Rhoda was my best friend, and she 44
Mary Monroe
was as smart as a whip, but she sure knew how to tune up her mouth to say some of the stupidest shit I’d ever heard. “My first affair?”
“You know, in case Louis doesn’t get the job done right. You might have to try on another one.”
“Girl, I know damn well you don’t think I’d make a habit out of having affairs. If it doesn’t work out with Louis, that’s it for me. But do you know what, Rhoda? I like Louis. I like him a lot. And that scares the hell out of me. If he wants to take this to another level, I will. I mean, how long could it last, anyway?”
“Speak for yourself. Bully and I have been goin’ at it for more than a generation, and we haven’t slowed down a bit. As a matter of fact, that dick he whips me with is sweeter than ever,” she said and snickered.
“I know, Rhoda,” I said, rolling my eyes. “You’ve told me that fifty or sixty times.” I sniffed and looked toward my door. Before I could speak again, my other line rang. “Rhoda, hold on. Somebody’s calling on line two.” It was Louis.
“Hello, Lou,” I cooed. There was something about this man that made me feel downright dainty. That was something that neither my husband nor any other man had been able to do so far. That made Louis all the more special to me. “I hope you don’t mind me calling you Lou.”
“Baby, you can call me Quasimodo if you want to. Just as long as you call me.”
My entire body got so hot, I had to spread my legs so I could fan my crotch with the New York Times, one of several newspapers I read each day. Then I smiled so demurely, I could hardly stand myself.
“Is there any way you can get away for a few hours later tonight?”
he asked.
I stopped fanning myself and dropped the newspaper back onto my desk. “Tonight?” I asked stupidly. “Uh, I think so. What do you have in mind?” I rubbed my thumping heart as I listened.
“Girl, I’m gwine to roll you like your back don’t have no bone,”
he vowed.
“Hmm. That sounds like fun. And I’m gwine to let you roll me like my back don’t have no bone.”
I was not trying to be funny, and I was not intentionally making GOD AIN’ T BLIND
45
fun of his semi-countrified diction. He had such a nice deep voice that I would have enjoyed listening to him even if he spoke to me in Gaelic. Even that would have sounded poetic to me coming from him. I didn’t want to share something this silly with Rhoda, because I didn’t want her to tease me about it or think that I had gone off the deep end. I had to shake my head to clear my thoughts. I was beginning to think, act, and feel like a lovesick old fool
“Well, after drinks with your friend, I thought I’d bring you to my place so I can treat you to one of my gourmet meals. Nobody, and I do mean nobody, can whup up a Yankee pot roast as good as I can. I just want to warn you that I don’t live in a penthouse or a nice house, like I know you must live in. But I am proud of my little home, anyway.”
“Louis, if you lived in a shoe, that would be your business. I appreciate you wanting me to see it.” What I wanted to say to Louis was, “If you will let me come to your residence, that’s proof that I don’t have to worry about another woman.” Even though he had told me that he was not involved with somebody else, that didn’t mean that it was true. It was always in the back of my mind. But that thought was on its way out of my mind now. “I’d love to see your place.”
“And just to show you that I mean business, I will give you a key to my place. That way you
“I am . . . I mean, I will. I have been frustrated a lot lately, and I’m getting damn sick of it.”
“That’s why you are doin’ somethin’ about it,” Rhoda told me.
“And Louis is the perfect specimen for you to experiment with for your first affair.”
I couldn’t believe my ears! Rhoda was my best friend, and she 44
Mary Monroe
was as smart as a whip, but she sure knew how to tune up her mouth to say some of the stupidest shit I’d ever heard. “My first affair?”
“You know, in case Louis doesn’t get the job done right. You might have to try on another one.”
“Girl, I know damn well you don’t think I’d make a habit out of having affairs. If it doesn’t work out with Louis, that’s it for me. But do you know what, Rhoda? I like Louis. I like him a lot. And that scares the hell out of me. If he wants to take this to another level, I will. I mean, how long could it last, anyway?”
“Speak for yourself. Bully and I have been goin’ at it for more than a generation, and we haven’t slowed down a bit. As a matter of fact, that dick he whips me with is sweeter than ever,” she said and snickered.
“I know, Rhoda,” I said, rolling my eyes. “You’ve told me that fifty or sixty times.” I sniffed and looked toward my door. Before I could speak again, my other line rang. “Rhoda, hold on. Somebody’s calling on line two.” It was Louis.
“Hello, Lou,” I cooed. There was something about this man that made me feel downright dainty. That was something that neither my husband nor any other man had been able to do so far. That made Louis all the more special to me. “I hope you don’t mind me calling you Lou.”
“Baby, you can call me Quasimodo if you want to. Just as long as you call me.”
My entire body got so hot, I had to spread my legs so I could fan my crotch with the New York Times, one of several newspapers I read each day. Then I smiled so demurely, I could hardly stand myself.
“Is there any way you can get away for a few hours later tonight?”
he asked.
I stopped fanning myself and dropped the newspaper back onto my desk. “Tonight?” I asked stupidly. “Uh, I think so. What do you have in mind?” I rubbed my thumping heart as I listened.
“Girl, I’m gwine to roll you like your back don’t have no bone,”
he vowed.
“Hmm. That sounds like fun. And I’m gwine to let you roll me like my back don’t have no bone.”
I was not trying to be funny, and I was not intentionally making GOD AIN’ T BLIND
45
fun of his semi-countrified diction. He had such a nice deep voice that I would have enjoyed listening to him even if he spoke to me in Gaelic. Even that would have sounded poetic to me coming from him. I didn’t want to share something this silly with Rhoda, because I didn’t want her to tease me about it or think that I had gone off the deep end. I had to shake my head to clear my thoughts. I was beginning to think, act, and feel like a lovesick old fool
“Well, after drinks with your friend, I thought I’d bring you to my place so I can treat you to one of my gourmet meals. Nobody, and I do mean nobody, can whup up a Yankee pot roast as good as I can. I just want to warn you that I don’t live in a penthouse or a nice house, like I know you must live in. But I am proud of my little home, anyway.”
“Louis, if you lived in a shoe, that would be your business. I appreciate you wanting me to see it.” What I wanted to say to Louis was, “If you will let me come to your residence, that’s proof that I don’t have to worry about another woman.” Even though he had told me that he was not involved with somebody else, that didn’t mean that it was true. It was always in the back of my mind. But that thought was on its way out of my mind now. “I’d love to see your place.”
“And just to show you that I mean business, I will give you a key to my place. That way you
Similar Books
