leak.”
The women stopped advancing. He
looked around for the restrooms, but didn’t see any signs. He didn’t know this
place and he was afraid he wasn’t going to be able to find a toilet before he
couldn’t hold it any longer.
One of the women said, “Why don’t
you just piss in your pants, asshole?”
He felt like he was going to, the
urge was becoming so great. He couldn’t stand it anymore, but didn’t know where
to go. He just kept looking around and willing his bladder to hold on a
goddamned second.
Carl opened his eyes and said,
“Goddamn. I gotta piss like a seahorse.” He was lying on his back in an empty
ski lodge which was the main building in a deserted ski resort, a few miles
from the Ice Bunny Resort.
He and Trey had broken in the night
before and sat on the floor drinking beer and smoking pot until they had both
passed out. According to the sunlight, they had slept well into the day. They
were on private property, but they had no fear of the owner coming to the
lodge.
The resort had been vacant for over
40 years and would probably remain vacant forever. It was fenced off and the
owner had posted signs everywhere making it very clear that this was private
property. Carl told Trey it would be a great place to crash until they found
something better - or until the owner came by and spotted them.
Carl got up quickly then stopped
for a second as his head pounded with pain. He put his hand on top of his head
and pressed down as if he could stop the pounding sensation that way. He walked
to the front door, pulled it open and stepped outside.
He probably would’ve relieved
himself somewhere other than the wooden deck just outside the door if he hadn’t
had to go so bad, and if his head wasn’t still throbbing from a hangover. As it
was, he said, “Fuck it,” and unzipped right outside the door.
He urinated on the wooden deck,
waiting for the urgent, nearly painful feeling to go away. He closed his eyes
and concentrated on the relief he’d feel any second. The air outside was cold
and felt good at the moment.
Finally, he was past the halfway
point of emptying his bladder and he relaxed and felt better. His arms were
really feeling the cold air now. He opened his eyes and glanced up to see if it
looked like there’d be snow today.
“Holy shit! Trey! Get out here. You gotta see this.”
He couldn’t believe what he saw on
the horizon rising in the sky above the mountains, coming from somewhere over
the Denver area. The unmistakable formation of a mushroom cloud hung in the
air. Someone had nuked Denver and Carl thought it was the coolest thing he’d
ever seen.
He turned around, zipping up his
pants and yelled, “Trey! Wake your ass up, man. You ain’t gonna believe this.”
He squinted his eyes from the pain that yelling
brought to his head. “Goddamn, I need a beer.”
He walked over to the twelve-pack
carton sitting next to Trey and bent down to reach inside for a can. Again, the
pain in his head was there to punish him for the act of bending over. He stood
back up with a can of Coors Light, cracked the top and then he kicked the
bottom of one of Trey’s boots, finally waking him.
“What the fuck, Carl? Why you gotta
be an asshole like that?”
“Get up! You gotta see this
outside. You’ll shit your fuckin’ pants.”
“Get up so I can shit my pants?”
“No. Grab a fuckin’ beer and get
your ass out here.”
“Shit. You don’t got aspirin, do ya?”
Carl just looked at him for a few
seconds, thinking, “Why the fuck would I have a aspirin?”
“What’s the big deal, anyway?” Trey
reluctantly pulled himself up into a sitting position and looked around,
rubbing his eyes.
“Come on, dammit! This shit’s gonna
blow your mind.”
“Why don’t you tell me what it is,
so I got some motivation to get up?”
“What if I told you every single
cop in Denver just turned to dust?”
“I’d tell you to share whatever it
is you’re smokin ’.”
“I’m
The women stopped advancing. He
looked around for the restrooms, but didn’t see any signs. He didn’t know this
place and he was afraid he wasn’t going to be able to find a toilet before he
couldn’t hold it any longer.
One of the women said, “Why don’t
you just piss in your pants, asshole?”
He felt like he was going to, the
urge was becoming so great. He couldn’t stand it anymore, but didn’t know where
to go. He just kept looking around and willing his bladder to hold on a
goddamned second.
Carl opened his eyes and said,
“Goddamn. I gotta piss like a seahorse.” He was lying on his back in an empty
ski lodge which was the main building in a deserted ski resort, a few miles
from the Ice Bunny Resort.
He and Trey had broken in the night
before and sat on the floor drinking beer and smoking pot until they had both
passed out. According to the sunlight, they had slept well into the day. They
were on private property, but they had no fear of the owner coming to the
lodge.
The resort had been vacant for over
40 years and would probably remain vacant forever. It was fenced off and the
owner had posted signs everywhere making it very clear that this was private
property. Carl told Trey it would be a great place to crash until they found
something better - or until the owner came by and spotted them.
Carl got up quickly then stopped
for a second as his head pounded with pain. He put his hand on top of his head
and pressed down as if he could stop the pounding sensation that way. He walked
to the front door, pulled it open and stepped outside.
He probably would’ve relieved
himself somewhere other than the wooden deck just outside the door if he hadn’t
had to go so bad, and if his head wasn’t still throbbing from a hangover. As it
was, he said, “Fuck it,” and unzipped right outside the door.
He urinated on the wooden deck,
waiting for the urgent, nearly painful feeling to go away. He closed his eyes
and concentrated on the relief he’d feel any second. The air outside was cold
and felt good at the moment.
Finally, he was past the halfway
point of emptying his bladder and he relaxed and felt better. His arms were
really feeling the cold air now. He opened his eyes and glanced up to see if it
looked like there’d be snow today.
“Holy shit! Trey! Get out here. You gotta see this.”
He couldn’t believe what he saw on
the horizon rising in the sky above the mountains, coming from somewhere over
the Denver area. The unmistakable formation of a mushroom cloud hung in the
air. Someone had nuked Denver and Carl thought it was the coolest thing he’d
ever seen.
He turned around, zipping up his
pants and yelled, “Trey! Wake your ass up, man. You ain’t gonna believe this.”
He squinted his eyes from the pain that yelling
brought to his head. “Goddamn, I need a beer.”
He walked over to the twelve-pack
carton sitting next to Trey and bent down to reach inside for a can. Again, the
pain in his head was there to punish him for the act of bending over. He stood
back up with a can of Coors Light, cracked the top and then he kicked the
bottom of one of Trey’s boots, finally waking him.
“What the fuck, Carl? Why you gotta
be an asshole like that?”
“Get up! You gotta see this
outside. You’ll shit your fuckin’ pants.”
“Get up so I can shit my pants?”
“No. Grab a fuckin’ beer and get
your ass out here.”
“Shit. You don’t got aspirin, do ya?”
Carl just looked at him for a few
seconds, thinking, “Why the fuck would I have a aspirin?”
“What’s the big deal, anyway?” Trey
reluctantly pulled himself up into a sitting position and looked around,
rubbing his eyes.
“Come on, dammit! This shit’s gonna
blow your mind.”
“Why don’t you tell me what it is,
so I got some motivation to get up?”
“What if I told you every single
cop in Denver just turned to dust?”
“I’d tell you to share whatever it
is you’re smokin ’.”
“I’m
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