like the most damning of evidence.
“Dr. Frobisher,” Melissa said. Her voice was weirdly gentle, almost kind in its cajoling. “You have to trust me. I’ve been in this business long enough to know. Insinuations, questions that go begging for answers, they’re worse. They inflict far more damage than the truth, no matter how bad it is. You have to put me in touch with your husband. I have to talk to him.”
But by then I had snapped out of it. “Thanks,” I said. Or at least I think I did. Loose lips sink ships. Thank you, Liam. “I’ll give him the message.” I shook her off my shoulder and began making my treacherous way back up the hill. Behind me, I could hear the school bus hurtle past.
I met Paula at the front door, putting on her jacket. “I was just coming to get you,” she said. “Who was it? We’ve been up here imagining the worst.”
“That’s what you think.” I pushed past her into the foyer. “Are Jack and Corinne ready? We’re late. We have to go. We have to go now. ” My italics would have given admin assistant Mackenzie a run for her money, and I wasn’t even trying. I wasn’t aware of raising my voice, of my inflection having changed at all, but suddenly everyone was following my orders, jumping into their coats, racing for their backpacks, even Corinne. Liam once said Corinne was physically incapable of the verb hustle , that she would be unable to hurry even if the world were ending in fire or ice. He was wrong about that one too, and I thought maybe now would be a good time for me to start a list. She was making a strange little hiccupping noise, like she’d been crying, but I couldn’t ask her what was wrong. We were out of time. Also: I was afraid. I thought if I stopped, I might not be able to start moving again.
The drive through town was harrowing. I braked, and the car kept going. I turned the wheel to the left, and the car slid right. I kept starting to curse and then catching myself just in time on the letter f . In front of the houses, crocuses were frozen inside their ice carapaces, tiny, painful anachronisms, and my eyes kept stinging. The roads were eerily empty. “Where is everyone?” Jack asked.
Meanwhile, Corinne was worrying out loud about being late. That day was her day to feed the kindergarten hamster, whose name is, of all things, Mr. Munchy. She was missing the Pledge of Allegiance. Neglecting this small, gravely important ritual was the final straw, and she was on the verge of breaking down for real. I told her I would say it with her. I thought maybe it would steady me while we made our way down Saline Road, cheating death at every stop sign. I pledge allegiance to the flag. Of the United States of America. It didn’t. Have you ever heard a five-year-old recite the Pledge of Allegiance, Arthur? It’s creepy as hell. Their enunciation is perfect, but they have no idea what kind of promise they’re making, of what’s being called for. No one tells you until later that breaking your word amounts to treason. No one tells you until later that you can’t take it back. I was having my own treasonous thoughts as I drove. They were half formed, but went a little like this: asking something like that from someone ought not to be allowed.
Arthur, I’ll stop here. I should have stopped several hundred words back. You’ll do some cursing of your own, when you see how long this fucking e-mail is, but you’ll read it all anyway. I said it once: I know you . I’m pretty sure that it’s still true, in spite of everything.
Yours,
Jess
From: Jess Frobisher
Sent: Sunday, April 13, 2014 1:38 am
To: Arthur Danielson
Cc:
Bcc:
Subject: Re: wheeze, wheeze, gasp, gasp
Hmm. Arthur + beard. Arthur minus 20 lbs. I’m having a hard time picturing this new . . . What did you call it? Wasted shadow of the man you used to be?
Seriously, though: good for you. Scruffy is
“Dr. Frobisher,” Melissa said. Her voice was weirdly gentle, almost kind in its cajoling. “You have to trust me. I’ve been in this business long enough to know. Insinuations, questions that go begging for answers, they’re worse. They inflict far more damage than the truth, no matter how bad it is. You have to put me in touch with your husband. I have to talk to him.”
But by then I had snapped out of it. “Thanks,” I said. Or at least I think I did. Loose lips sink ships. Thank you, Liam. “I’ll give him the message.” I shook her off my shoulder and began making my treacherous way back up the hill. Behind me, I could hear the school bus hurtle past.
I met Paula at the front door, putting on her jacket. “I was just coming to get you,” she said. “Who was it? We’ve been up here imagining the worst.”
“That’s what you think.” I pushed past her into the foyer. “Are Jack and Corinne ready? We’re late. We have to go. We have to go now. ” My italics would have given admin assistant Mackenzie a run for her money, and I wasn’t even trying. I wasn’t aware of raising my voice, of my inflection having changed at all, but suddenly everyone was following my orders, jumping into their coats, racing for their backpacks, even Corinne. Liam once said Corinne was physically incapable of the verb hustle , that she would be unable to hurry even if the world were ending in fire or ice. He was wrong about that one too, and I thought maybe now would be a good time for me to start a list. She was making a strange little hiccupping noise, like she’d been crying, but I couldn’t ask her what was wrong. We were out of time. Also: I was afraid. I thought if I stopped, I might not be able to start moving again.
The drive through town was harrowing. I braked, and the car kept going. I turned the wheel to the left, and the car slid right. I kept starting to curse and then catching myself just in time on the letter f . In front of the houses, crocuses were frozen inside their ice carapaces, tiny, painful anachronisms, and my eyes kept stinging. The roads were eerily empty. “Where is everyone?” Jack asked.
Meanwhile, Corinne was worrying out loud about being late. That day was her day to feed the kindergarten hamster, whose name is, of all things, Mr. Munchy. She was missing the Pledge of Allegiance. Neglecting this small, gravely important ritual was the final straw, and she was on the verge of breaking down for real. I told her I would say it with her. I thought maybe it would steady me while we made our way down Saline Road, cheating death at every stop sign. I pledge allegiance to the flag. Of the United States of America. It didn’t. Have you ever heard a five-year-old recite the Pledge of Allegiance, Arthur? It’s creepy as hell. Their enunciation is perfect, but they have no idea what kind of promise they’re making, of what’s being called for. No one tells you until later that breaking your word amounts to treason. No one tells you until later that you can’t take it back. I was having my own treasonous thoughts as I drove. They were half formed, but went a little like this: asking something like that from someone ought not to be allowed.
Arthur, I’ll stop here. I should have stopped several hundred words back. You’ll do some cursing of your own, when you see how long this fucking e-mail is, but you’ll read it all anyway. I said it once: I know you . I’m pretty sure that it’s still true, in spite of everything.
Yours,
Jess
From: Jess Frobisher
Sent: Sunday, April 13, 2014 1:38 am
To: Arthur Danielson
Cc:
Bcc:
Subject: Re: wheeze, wheeze, gasp, gasp
Hmm. Arthur + beard. Arthur minus 20 lbs. I’m having a hard time picturing this new . . . What did you call it? Wasted shadow of the man you used to be?
Seriously, though: good for you. Scruffy is
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