Goddamn Electric Nights by William Pauley III

           $5 ELECTRIC SUZIE

     
     

            Suzie was humming when I found
her.
             Back
then I used to live in that garbage heap. Well, not literally, but you know
what I mean. I was addicted to the goddamn place. Four acres of discarded
treasures separated into thirty piles, stacked as high as small mountains. Oh,
those sweet metallic juggernauts, how I loved them so. And only five dollars
for whatever I could carry out in my hands. That place was more responsible for
my upbringing than either of my parents ever were. They spent most their time
with empty glass bottles and dirty bathroom floors. They’ve long ago lost touch
with what really matters in life. This world has so much to offer, but everyone
thinks the only way to get past all the shit is to go about it the traditional
way – good jobs, raises, promotions – but there’s
another way. An easier way.
             She
was hidden beneath a pile of soiled mattresses and some scrap metal. I had
almost given up my hunt for the day when the sun quickly and very mysteriously
began to lower, shining its red rays directly on her. It felt something like
divine intervention. As if the entire universe wanted me to find her. To have her. To hold her. Till death do us part. I lifted the mattresses and the metal off her and tossed them aside. I wasn’t
prepared for her beauty. I guess in a lot of ways, I’m still overwhelmed by it.
Her slender curves, her pink skin, her perfect mouth… her sexy little pinch
roller. Even the lettering of her name, ELECTRIC SUZIE, written across her top
right corner, felt majestic in the way it sparkled under the sunlight.
             Suzie
was by far the most breathtaking VCR I had ever laid eyes on.
             I
took her to the pay window and paid the guy his $5. He was watching an old
episode of THE A-TEAM on his computer monitor. He took the cash and stuffed it
in the drawer without even looking up at me once. And it’s a good thing too,
‘cause if he knew what I had in my hands that day, he never would have let me
leave with her. Not for all the money in the world. At least I wouldn’t have if
I was the one in charge.
             I
ran all the way home and didn’t even stop running once I got there. I nearly
broke the door down, I was running so fast. I ran back to my bedroom and spun
the lock shut. If I was smart, I probably would have worried about what a
beautiful thing like Suzie was doing in a garbage heap, but at the time the
thought never even crossed my mind. She could have been faulty. She could have
had a short in her that caused somebody’s house to burn down. But for some
reason I didn’t have a worry in my head. Something inside me knew she was
perfect. And boy was I ever right. She was perfect. More than
perfect. She was an electric angel.
             I
fumbled through the wires and plugged them into the back of the television set.
Snuck back out into the hallway and down to my parent’s bedroom where they kept
all their VHS cassettes. There weren’t many, but there were more than I could
carry out in my hands. I grabbed what I could and raced back to my bedroom,
tossing the cassettes on the floor and again locking the door behind me. No one
was to know about my $5 Electric Suzie but me. I’ve always been greedy in that
way. I didn’t want to share her. Hell, I couldn’t share her. I needed her all to myself.
             I
looked through the tapes. PARTY PLANE, EMANUELLE 5, SERENA… the titles didn’t
sound familiar to me, but that didn’t matter to me none .
All of the covers sported half naked females spread across random items of
furniture – beds, tables, chairs, hell one was even spread across a kitchen
countertop. I picked up one labeled THE STORY OF O and placed it inside Suzie’s
mouth. Suzie’s low hum turned into a short sigh, then a loud moan, as the gears started to turn. For