Good Christian Bitches by Kim Gatlin

officially procured donations. She was trying to curry favor with everyone from maître d’s to retail salespeople, so she gave away more free passes than she sold Ball tickets. She then provided false figures of expected guests to everyone, including the valet parking company, the caterer, and even the company that provided those golf-tournament-style portable restrooms—all in hopes of saving a dollar or two. They ran out of food and drinks, the lines for the ladies’ room were thirty minutes long, and it took forever to get your car. The outcome was a total disaster, as it embittered longtime supporters, sponsors, and vendors.
    “Not to mention,” Elizabeth went on, “that for the first time in Ball history, the Chairman was drunk, dancing on a table at the end of the night. You know the saying, the higher a monkey climbs up a tree, the more you see of its ass? She was hoping to clean up her mess by chairing a second year in a row. After all that, she had the audacity to think she could hang on to her position for another year. The nerve!”
    “But I still don’t understand why they had her arrested,” Amanda said, taking a sip of her coffee. As self-absorbed as her mother was, it was just nice to be sitting in the kitchen of the house where she grew up, listening to gossip. At least it was gossip that wasn’t about her, Amanda told herself. That was refreshing.
    “The Ball committee took a vote,” Elizabeth continued. “They passed a new rule that said that no individual could run the Ball two years in a row. They had to go to that extreme measure because Susie wouldn’t have let go of that thing if they’d held a gun to her head. And then Susie hired lawyers, and I mean junkyard-dog lawyers—can you imagine, hiring lawyers to go up against the committee of the Longhorn Ball? This is supposed to be volunteer work. It was insane! And her lawyers actually took the thing to court, claiming that Susie was grandfathered into chairing it for a second year because the vote to pass that rule had been taken after she had already committed to running it again.” Elizabeth smacked her palm against her forehead. “I swear, that girl. The engine’s running, but nobody’s been driving for God knows how many years.”
    Amanda grinned for what felt like the first time since she had left California. She hated to admit it, but it was satisfying to hear of another woman who had made a bigger mess of her life than she had. How encouraging.
    “So what happened then?”
    Elizabeth gave a disgusted look and had another sip of her coffee. “The committee hired lawyers of their own, and they got an injunction, or whatever you call it, against Susie staying on. They even had the locks changed, and when Susie wouldn’t vacate the office, they got an injunction to get her thrown out of there, too. She wouldn’t go, so the committee called in the police to get her out of there. I guess that’s when you happened on the scene.”
    “I guess,” Amanda said. “So who’s going to run the Ball now?”
    “Beats me. That Longhorn Ball is so messed up, I don’t think you will find anyone who’s willing to take it on.”
    “Oh, and that’s not all,” Amanda interjected, pleased and not feeling guilty to have a gossipy tidbit of her own. “You’ll never guess who’s working at Ann Anderson’s office.”
    “Heather Sappington,” her mother said, stealing her thunder.
    “You knew that?”
    “Of course I knew that,” Elizabeth said indignantly. “Why would you think I wouldn’t know that? Ann’s mom and I have been friends forever.”
    “Why would Ann hire her?”
    “I don’t know,” Elizabeth said, waving a hand dismissively. “Pity more than anything else. That girl just can’t get a man to marry her. Propose, yes, but marry her, no.”
    “I don’t even see what men see in her,” Amanda said. “I don’t mean to gossip—”
    “Well, I do. That girl has quite a reputation for being wild. You know what they