as he could bear to, and if he didn’t change, he’d turn out just like Jimmy.
9. Lapse
Ant’s eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw Fluke drop in on the wave right on top of Dan, forcing him to swing his board away or risk a collision. It was an aggressive move and there was normally nothing aggressive about Fluke. Normally, he would never be able to out-surf Dan like that.
“What the fuck was that about?” he said to Mitch.
“Dan screwed up big time. Made out with Katie.”
“Fluke’s Katie?”
“Yep.”
“What’s bad about that? She’s a hot little thing. Too young?”
“Twenty-one, not too young, but she’s Fluke’s baby sister.”
“Still not getting it.”
Mitch floated his board perpendicular to Ant’s. “If it was your sister, Arabella, Dan had his dirty paws on, you’d be ok with that?”
Ant made eye contact. “Shit no. Ok, I’ve got the point.”
When Dan paddled over, there was a strained silence. Mitch broke it by saying. “What were you thinking, mate?”
Dan exhaled, swung his board around to face Ant and Mitch. “Not enough, obviously. I really screwed up. If Fluke could take me out, he would.”
“What happened?” said Ant.
“I’ve got no friggin’ excuse. She was into it too, but I let it happen.” Dan dropped his eyes, “More than let it happen. I don’t know what would’ve gone on if Fluke hadn’t come back when he did. I didn’t force her or anything – she was plenty willing – but I wasn’t going to stop it either.” Dan sighed, “She was the one woman in my life who I had any relationship with that didn’t involve a retail transaction or fucking.”
Ant reached across and grabbed Dan’s board dragged it closer. “It’s a new day, mate. Fluke’ll get over it.”
“I’m not sure he will. I’m not sure I want him to.”
“That makes no sense,” said Mitch.
Dan’s head was down. Ant had never seen him quite so un-Dan like, all the natural confidence stripped out of him, over a little lapse of judgement with Fluke’s sister. It didn’t make sense, but then Fluke was up on them now, so he shut up to see what would happen.
For a while, nothing. The four of them floated over a couple of sloppy sets and it looked like nothing interesting was going to happen outside of nature doing its thing. The swell was too full to be useful for anything but long boards, but the waves of anger coming off Fluke were too pounding to ignore.
“Cough it up, Flukey, before you choke on it,” Mitch said.
Fluke just closed his eyes and shook his head. He’d never been so disappointed in a mate before. Never thought anything Dan could do would make him feel this way. Katie wasn’t blameless, but surely Dan knew better. All that talk about wanting to change, have real relationships with women. Who was Dan fucking kidding? Fluke looked across at Dan, trying to measure his thoughts from his expression. Was he genuinely sorry or just playing at it? He couldn’t tell. He face-planted his board to paddle back to shore. When he got level with Dan, he said, “Half the sky, Dan. Remember that, half the sky.”
It was no surprise Fluke didn’t join them for breakfast, but it increased Dan’s self-loathing. Their pigtailed waitress was even aware he wasn’t himself, the arbitrary marshmallow on the saucer of his second cappuccino her way of trying to cheer him up.
He looked at the fluffy bit of confectionery, sweet and pink, a girl’s colour, and he thought about how he’d confused his own reflection with Jimmy’s. He had no idea how to change his life, how to approach it differently. There was no understanding aunt or female cousin or kindly lady neighbour to turn to for advice. At a pinch he could’ve talked to Fluke’s mum, but that was screwed up now. He lived in a world of men and right now that world was hurting him.
“Go easy, mate,” said Ant. “Fluke’ll come round.”
“It’s not about Fluke. It’s about me. He has every reason
9. Lapse
Ant’s eyes nearly popped out of his head when he saw Fluke drop in on the wave right on top of Dan, forcing him to swing his board away or risk a collision. It was an aggressive move and there was normally nothing aggressive about Fluke. Normally, he would never be able to out-surf Dan like that.
“What the fuck was that about?” he said to Mitch.
“Dan screwed up big time. Made out with Katie.”
“Fluke’s Katie?”
“Yep.”
“What’s bad about that? She’s a hot little thing. Too young?”
“Twenty-one, not too young, but she’s Fluke’s baby sister.”
“Still not getting it.”
Mitch floated his board perpendicular to Ant’s. “If it was your sister, Arabella, Dan had his dirty paws on, you’d be ok with that?”
Ant made eye contact. “Shit no. Ok, I’ve got the point.”
When Dan paddled over, there was a strained silence. Mitch broke it by saying. “What were you thinking, mate?”
Dan exhaled, swung his board around to face Ant and Mitch. “Not enough, obviously. I really screwed up. If Fluke could take me out, he would.”
“What happened?” said Ant.
“I’ve got no friggin’ excuse. She was into it too, but I let it happen.” Dan dropped his eyes, “More than let it happen. I don’t know what would’ve gone on if Fluke hadn’t come back when he did. I didn’t force her or anything – she was plenty willing – but I wasn’t going to stop it either.” Dan sighed, “She was the one woman in my life who I had any relationship with that didn’t involve a retail transaction or fucking.”
Ant reached across and grabbed Dan’s board dragged it closer. “It’s a new day, mate. Fluke’ll get over it.”
“I’m not sure he will. I’m not sure I want him to.”
“That makes no sense,” said Mitch.
Dan’s head was down. Ant had never seen him quite so un-Dan like, all the natural confidence stripped out of him, over a little lapse of judgement with Fluke’s sister. It didn’t make sense, but then Fluke was up on them now, so he shut up to see what would happen.
For a while, nothing. The four of them floated over a couple of sloppy sets and it looked like nothing interesting was going to happen outside of nature doing its thing. The swell was too full to be useful for anything but long boards, but the waves of anger coming off Fluke were too pounding to ignore.
“Cough it up, Flukey, before you choke on it,” Mitch said.
Fluke just closed his eyes and shook his head. He’d never been so disappointed in a mate before. Never thought anything Dan could do would make him feel this way. Katie wasn’t blameless, but surely Dan knew better. All that talk about wanting to change, have real relationships with women. Who was Dan fucking kidding? Fluke looked across at Dan, trying to measure his thoughts from his expression. Was he genuinely sorry or just playing at it? He couldn’t tell. He face-planted his board to paddle back to shore. When he got level with Dan, he said, “Half the sky, Dan. Remember that, half the sky.”
It was no surprise Fluke didn’t join them for breakfast, but it increased Dan’s self-loathing. Their pigtailed waitress was even aware he wasn’t himself, the arbitrary marshmallow on the saucer of his second cappuccino her way of trying to cheer him up.
He looked at the fluffy bit of confectionery, sweet and pink, a girl’s colour, and he thought about how he’d confused his own reflection with Jimmy’s. He had no idea how to change his life, how to approach it differently. There was no understanding aunt or female cousin or kindly lady neighbour to turn to for advice. At a pinch he could’ve talked to Fluke’s mum, but that was screwed up now. He lived in a world of men and right now that world was hurting him.
“Go easy, mate,” said Ant. “Fluke’ll come round.”
“It’s not about Fluke. It’s about me. He has every reason
Similar Books
