to want me dead. I’m not happy with my life, boys. Need to make some changes. I just don’t know where to start.”
“If it’s not about Fluke, then I still don’t get why you’re so cut up,” said Mitch.
Dan looked at Mitch for a long time. Long enough for Mitch to know it wasn’t that he had food on his face or something dumb like that. “It’s about Belinda too,” he said eventually.
“What about Belinda? What has she got to do with you fucking up with Fluke’s sister?”
Dan sighed, “Nothing. I can’t explain myself. I just know that I screwed up with Katie for the same reason you screwed up with Belinda.”
Mitch blinked at him in surprise and Dan pointed at Ant. “And you’re just as much of a whore as I am. Fluke is the only one of us who knows how to have a conversation with a woman lasting more than fifteen minutes not fuelled by alcohol with no expectations of being in her pants.”
“If Fluke’s got it so right, how come he’s a complete loser with the chicks?” said Ant.
“That’s just it. The fact that we call them chicks. That we think so little of them, think they’re disposable, that’s the problem.”
“It’s not like they stop us, Dan. It’s not like every chick you’ve ever tapped hasn’t been equally hot for you. Half the time they’re throwing themselves at you,” said Ant.
Dan sighed. “That’s what makes this so bloody confusing.”
“Belinda wasn’t disposable,” said Mitch, rearranging the sugar satchels in the bowl.
“I know, mate, and that’s why you want her back. Maybe that’s the point, to find the chicks–” Dan shook his head and corrected himself “–women, who aren’t disposable and then work out how to stick with them.”
Mitch nodded. “Ok, I get it. But I have no idea how to get Bel back.”
Ant clattered his tiny espresso cup back into its saucer. “You’ve both got rocks in your thick heads. This is our time to play the field. We don’t get this again, unless we’re Dan’s Uncle Kev,” he snickered. “Eventually we’ll get hooked and have to play house and be nice. I’m not doing that till I have to.”
“You know you’re the worst of us with the double standard,” said Dan, glaring at Ant. “That’s what Katie called it. She was right. You’re happy to screw anything that looks at you, but when you’re ready to settle down, you’ll pick a great Italian girl who never played around too much, doesn’t have much of a history, and is the perfect accompaniment to your perfect life.”
“And what the fuck is wrong with that?” said Ant.
‘It’s just wrong. I can’t tell you what I mean. Where’s Fluke and all his words when I need him? It’s just wrong. Why is there one standard of behaviour for us and one for the women we want to admire?”
“Because we got lucky enough to be born men and that’s the way it is. Don’t come on all holier than thou with me Dan, mate. That’s how you live, that’s how all the men in your family live and there’s nothing fucking wrong with it,” thundered Ant. He was red in the face and thoroughly pissed off. “I get enough of this crap at work: equal opportunity, positive discrimination, professional ethics, quotas, and anti-bullying.”
“If Fluke were here, he’d say something smart right about now,” said Dan.
“If Fluke were here, we wouldn’t be snarling at each other in the first place,” snarled Ant.
Off topic and out of nowhere, Mitch said, “Dan, do you remember your mum much?”
“Where’s that coming from?” said Ant, reeling back in his chair.
Dan turned to face Mitch, ignore Ant. “Some. Why do you ask?”
“Did your dad ever talk about her?”
“Christ no. He hated her for leaving him and then he hated her worse for dying and leaving me with him.”
“I think that might’ve made a difference, if our mothers had been in our lives,” said Mitch softly.
“Maybe.” Dan remembered when Mitch’s mother died of breast cancer and
“If it’s not about Fluke, then I still don’t get why you’re so cut up,” said Mitch.
Dan looked at Mitch for a long time. Long enough for Mitch to know it wasn’t that he had food on his face or something dumb like that. “It’s about Belinda too,” he said eventually.
“What about Belinda? What has she got to do with you fucking up with Fluke’s sister?”
Dan sighed, “Nothing. I can’t explain myself. I just know that I screwed up with Katie for the same reason you screwed up with Belinda.”
Mitch blinked at him in surprise and Dan pointed at Ant. “And you’re just as much of a whore as I am. Fluke is the only one of us who knows how to have a conversation with a woman lasting more than fifteen minutes not fuelled by alcohol with no expectations of being in her pants.”
“If Fluke’s got it so right, how come he’s a complete loser with the chicks?” said Ant.
“That’s just it. The fact that we call them chicks. That we think so little of them, think they’re disposable, that’s the problem.”
“It’s not like they stop us, Dan. It’s not like every chick you’ve ever tapped hasn’t been equally hot for you. Half the time they’re throwing themselves at you,” said Ant.
Dan sighed. “That’s what makes this so bloody confusing.”
“Belinda wasn’t disposable,” said Mitch, rearranging the sugar satchels in the bowl.
“I know, mate, and that’s why you want her back. Maybe that’s the point, to find the chicks–” Dan shook his head and corrected himself “–women, who aren’t disposable and then work out how to stick with them.”
Mitch nodded. “Ok, I get it. But I have no idea how to get Bel back.”
Ant clattered his tiny espresso cup back into its saucer. “You’ve both got rocks in your thick heads. This is our time to play the field. We don’t get this again, unless we’re Dan’s Uncle Kev,” he snickered. “Eventually we’ll get hooked and have to play house and be nice. I’m not doing that till I have to.”
“You know you’re the worst of us with the double standard,” said Dan, glaring at Ant. “That’s what Katie called it. She was right. You’re happy to screw anything that looks at you, but when you’re ready to settle down, you’ll pick a great Italian girl who never played around too much, doesn’t have much of a history, and is the perfect accompaniment to your perfect life.”
“And what the fuck is wrong with that?” said Ant.
‘It’s just wrong. I can’t tell you what I mean. Where’s Fluke and all his words when I need him? It’s just wrong. Why is there one standard of behaviour for us and one for the women we want to admire?”
“Because we got lucky enough to be born men and that’s the way it is. Don’t come on all holier than thou with me Dan, mate. That’s how you live, that’s how all the men in your family live and there’s nothing fucking wrong with it,” thundered Ant. He was red in the face and thoroughly pissed off. “I get enough of this crap at work: equal opportunity, positive discrimination, professional ethics, quotas, and anti-bullying.”
“If Fluke were here, he’d say something smart right about now,” said Dan.
“If Fluke were here, we wouldn’t be snarling at each other in the first place,” snarled Ant.
Off topic and out of nowhere, Mitch said, “Dan, do you remember your mum much?”
“Where’s that coming from?” said Ant, reeling back in his chair.
Dan turned to face Mitch, ignore Ant. “Some. Why do you ask?”
“Did your dad ever talk about her?”
“Christ no. He hated her for leaving him and then he hated her worse for dying and leaving me with him.”
“I think that might’ve made a difference, if our mothers had been in our lives,” said Mitch softly.
“Maybe.” Dan remembered when Mitch’s mother died of breast cancer and
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