Harriet by Jilly Cooper

anything to him. He doesn’t love me, but at least he’s given me the money for an abortion.’
        Her mother took the cheque. Her expression had the same truculent relief of people who have waited half an hour in the cold, and who at last see a bus rounding the corner.
        ‘Banks at Coutts, does he? Fancies himself I suppose. Isn’t it against the law?’
        ‘Not any more,’ said Harriet, ‘I went to a doctor this morning in London. It’s all above board; they’ll do it on Friday.’
        ‘It seems the best course,’ said her mother somewhat mollified. ‘The young man does seem to have his wits about him.’
        Harriet took a deep breath.
        ‘Do you really want me to go ahead with it? Wouldn’t it be better to keep the baby?’
        Her mother looked appalled, as though the bus had turned out to be ‘Private’ after all.
        ‘What ever for? Where could you keep it?’
        It was as though she was talking about a pet elephant, thought Harriet.
        ‘You can’t have it here,’ her mother went on. ‘Think what people would say - the Neaves for example. It’s not fair on Susie and Peter. Where would you live? You haven’t got any money.’
        ‘You thought it was all right when Amanda Sutcliffe had a baby,’ said Harriet.
        ‘Everyone knows Amanda Sutcliffe’s a bit potty. Those sort of girls are expected to get themselves into trouble. It seems callous, I know, but with your ‘varsity career and all that the only answer seems to be to get rid of it.’
        ‘It isn’t an "it", its a her or a him; it’s your grandchild,’ said Harriet in desperation. ‘You always wanted grandchildren.’
        ‘But in the proper way,’ said her mother, starting to cry. ‘What would everyone say?’
        ‘What does it matter?’ said Harriet, and, rushing out of the room, ran upstairs to her own room and threw herself down on the bed.
        Later her mother came up and sat on the bed and stroked her hair.
        ‘I’m sorry I shouted at you, darling. It’s just the shock. You must realize you can’t just have a baby. It’s a serious responsibility; having it’s only the beginning. A child needs a stable family, parents, financial support. Once Friday’s over, you’ll be able to carry on with your life. You know how heartbroken Daddy will be if you don’t get a degree. You need a holiday. We might all go to the Lakes this vac. I know you’ve always wanted to see Wordsworth’s cottage.’ She was smoothing her shoulder lightly but firmly now as though she were making pastry. Harriet found it dimly touching that her mother was trying to be nice, but only dimly. Since Simon had gone she found it very difficult tc react to anything normally. She came down and watched television with her mother, who later said she was tired and went to bed. Harriet sat dry-eyed and stared at the horror movie which was about a huge tarantula spider. She hardly realized that the spider had been replaced by a vicar talking about resignation:
        ‘For everything there is a season,’ he began in his thin reedy voice.
        And it reminded her so much of Simon that tears suddenly spurted out of her eyes. Growing inside her was the only thing of Simon’s she had left. It was at that moment she decided to keep the baby.
        

Part Two
        

CHAPTER EIGHT
        
        
        MRS. HASTINGS closed the box file with a snap.
        ‘I’m afraid I’ve nothing for you, Miss Poole,’ she said. Harriet felt desperation sweeping over her.
        ‘But there must be something!’ she said. ‘I’ll do any kind of work, as long as it’s living in.’
        ‘You said that last time, Miss Poole, before you took that post with Mr. Widnell.’
        ‘I know I did. I’m sorry.’
        Mrs. Hastings examined her long red nails, as though she’d just enjoyed tearing some animal apart.
        ‘I should have thought a girl with your background, Miss Poole, would know how to keep