he’d behaved quite as gallantly, considering his admission of desire, as tame as it had been.
Suddenly, Ruben, though unsmiling, let out a part chuckle, part snort. “From what I’ve learned about you… Duncan… I’m sure you wouldn’t.”
Overjoyed at Ruben using his name, Duncan let out a relieved breath and managed a smile. “Thank you, Ruben. I’m glad to hear that.” He tried to choose his words carefully as he said, “I should have made sure of your orientation and interest before saying anything. I apologize if I offended you. I’ll do my best to be professional from now on.” Not wishing their relationship to be too distant, he hurried to add, “We could be friends, though. If you’d like.”
“I’m gay too,” Ruben blurted out. Then he turned red as a tomato. But before Duncan could respond in any way, he continued, “What did Ben tell you about me?”
Skating on thin ice, Duncan knew he could easily avoid the upcoming confession by stating the truth, that Benjamin had told him nothing. But wouldn’t withholding the truth be a lie in itself? Duncan didn’t wish to be dishonest.
With a heavy heart, he said, “He didn’t tell me anything. He’s very protective of you. But… I pieced a few things together myself.” He looked away to the unlit fireplace, hoping that gave Ruben some privacy and a chance to hide his reactions if he so chose. “Your grandmother, Rose, did a pretty good job of burying the article in the Seattle Times . About… the burglary and….” God, he couldn’t even say the words. Rape . The mere concept was too horrible to contemplate, and the words refused to form on his tongue. “I’m sorry, Ruben. So very sorry.”
He ran out of steam, fell silent, and expected the worst. Getting kicked out. Again.
Chapter 9
W HY AM I not panicking? Ruben stared silently, like a statue, at Duncan on the couch opposite him. The handsome man looked so crestfallen, so broken— for me! —that it gave Ruben a kind of inner calm he hadn’t expected.
His hands were folded in his lap, but they didn’t tremble. He heard birds singing in the trees outside, so his heart wasn’t so terrified that it practically beat its way out of his chest. His soles and thighs weren’t itching and twitching the way they did when the compulsion to run overrode his reason. And he didn’t feel like cowering, hiding, or crying.
Ruben watched Duncan with rapt attention and careful scrutiny. In casual style, the man wore a simple, white dress shirt with a light-brown wool sweater over it, and dark jeans. There were dark circles around his sky-blue eyes, as though he hadn’t slept well in a while. He had blond stubble, like he hadn’t shaved in a day or two. His hair was mussed, not bedhead hair, but ruffled by the wind and perhaps by anxious hands. His gaze was directed away from Ruben, stubbornly locked on the fireplace, as if it was somehow interesting. Ruben appreciated the time Duncan was trying to give him. It was considerate and sweet in a way he had no experience with, but he knew he liked it.
“Thank you, Duncan.” There was more he wanted to say, but he wasn’t sure if the time was right. Maybe it was too soon. Besides, he had no idea what to do about the attraction they apparently shared.
Ruben sure felt a whole host of things, some emotional, others more physical. His gut clenched, but not in an evil twisted knot, and a kind of mellow heat slowly filled him from the groin outward. Duncan was so beautiful, in a rugged, outdoorsy kind of way. Ruben could imagine him on the back of a horse or a motorcycle with ease, sun streaking his hair, his eyes glinting in the light.
Letting out a long breath, Duncan held his coffee cup with both hands. Ruben saw he was trembling. “Do you, maybe, want to talk about it?” Duncan sounded so off, his tone uncertain.
Suddenly, Ruben felt an overwhelming need to spill out all his secrets.
Would he, though?
Then again, Duncan had been
Suddenly, Ruben, though unsmiling, let out a part chuckle, part snort. “From what I’ve learned about you… Duncan… I’m sure you wouldn’t.”
Overjoyed at Ruben using his name, Duncan let out a relieved breath and managed a smile. “Thank you, Ruben. I’m glad to hear that.” He tried to choose his words carefully as he said, “I should have made sure of your orientation and interest before saying anything. I apologize if I offended you. I’ll do my best to be professional from now on.” Not wishing their relationship to be too distant, he hurried to add, “We could be friends, though. If you’d like.”
“I’m gay too,” Ruben blurted out. Then he turned red as a tomato. But before Duncan could respond in any way, he continued, “What did Ben tell you about me?”
Skating on thin ice, Duncan knew he could easily avoid the upcoming confession by stating the truth, that Benjamin had told him nothing. But wouldn’t withholding the truth be a lie in itself? Duncan didn’t wish to be dishonest.
With a heavy heart, he said, “He didn’t tell me anything. He’s very protective of you. But… I pieced a few things together myself.” He looked away to the unlit fireplace, hoping that gave Ruben some privacy and a chance to hide his reactions if he so chose. “Your grandmother, Rose, did a pretty good job of burying the article in the Seattle Times . About… the burglary and….” God, he couldn’t even say the words. Rape . The mere concept was too horrible to contemplate, and the words refused to form on his tongue. “I’m sorry, Ruben. So very sorry.”
He ran out of steam, fell silent, and expected the worst. Getting kicked out. Again.
Chapter 9
W HY AM I not panicking? Ruben stared silently, like a statue, at Duncan on the couch opposite him. The handsome man looked so crestfallen, so broken— for me! —that it gave Ruben a kind of inner calm he hadn’t expected.
His hands were folded in his lap, but they didn’t tremble. He heard birds singing in the trees outside, so his heart wasn’t so terrified that it practically beat its way out of his chest. His soles and thighs weren’t itching and twitching the way they did when the compulsion to run overrode his reason. And he didn’t feel like cowering, hiding, or crying.
Ruben watched Duncan with rapt attention and careful scrutiny. In casual style, the man wore a simple, white dress shirt with a light-brown wool sweater over it, and dark jeans. There were dark circles around his sky-blue eyes, as though he hadn’t slept well in a while. He had blond stubble, like he hadn’t shaved in a day or two. His hair was mussed, not bedhead hair, but ruffled by the wind and perhaps by anxious hands. His gaze was directed away from Ruben, stubbornly locked on the fireplace, as if it was somehow interesting. Ruben appreciated the time Duncan was trying to give him. It was considerate and sweet in a way he had no experience with, but he knew he liked it.
“Thank you, Duncan.” There was more he wanted to say, but he wasn’t sure if the time was right. Maybe it was too soon. Besides, he had no idea what to do about the attraction they apparently shared.
Ruben sure felt a whole host of things, some emotional, others more physical. His gut clenched, but not in an evil twisted knot, and a kind of mellow heat slowly filled him from the groin outward. Duncan was so beautiful, in a rugged, outdoorsy kind of way. Ruben could imagine him on the back of a horse or a motorcycle with ease, sun streaking his hair, his eyes glinting in the light.
Letting out a long breath, Duncan held his coffee cup with both hands. Ruben saw he was trembling. “Do you, maybe, want to talk about it?” Duncan sounded so off, his tone uncertain.
Suddenly, Ruben felt an overwhelming need to spill out all his secrets.
Would he, though?
Then again, Duncan had been
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