completely upfront and sincere from the start. With that in mind, Ruben made his decision.
“It… didn’t happen quite like that….” He paused, puzzling about how to continue.
Duncan gaze looked up at Ruben, both sympathy and curiosity in his eyes. At least he looked at him squarely, not averting his gaze. “I’m not sure I understand.”
“Grandma Rose… well, she didn’t have all the facts. I… I lied to her.”
Warily and worried, Ruben observed Duncan’s reactions from under his brow. For what it was worth, Duncan seemed to have a hard time believing that. “Why would you lie to her?”
“I was… ashamed and embarrassed,” Ruben admitted quietly. This time it was his turn to stare into the depth of his black coffee, left in the dark about Duncan’s reactions. “You see, I… I invited him in.”
A sharp gasp from Duncan was the only indication he was listening intently.
Ruben felt mortified but braved on. “He was handsome, and he flirted with me. I was seventeen, with no experience to speak of, and his attention made my belly flutter. No guy had ever looked at me like that. How could I resist?”
It was a relief not to see Duncan’s face. Ruben was feverish, madly thinking about all the possibilities. Was Duncan disappointed? Was he angry, or pitying, or sympathetic? What Ruben couldn’t understand was how and when this man’s opinion had become so important to him that it dominated his moods, the highs and the lows alike.
“It wasn’t your fault.” Duncan’s voice cracked, but it was strong and adamant. Clearly he believed what he was saying. Surprisingly, that made Ruben feel a bit better.
Still, he distanced himself from the past events as he walked down memory lane, like he had been taught by the psychiatrists. “He came posing as an event planner, hired by Rose for one of her charity functions. I knew so little about that part of Grandma’s social life that I had no way of knowing if it was true. He seemed to know so much about Rose. So… I let him in.” He tried to say it with nonchalance but doubted he was successful.
Duncan sighed, and it was an almost despondent sound. “You lied because of his false story. You lied to protect Rose from the reason why you’d let him in.”
Ruben nodded, thankful Duncan understood. “Yes. That and being gullible. I should have known better. But he smiled and cajoled, and I was smitten. A teenage crush.”
“That’s perfectly understandable,” Duncan said, his tone soft and soothing now. He was offering Ruben comfort with his voice, and it worked like a charm. “We instinctively trust people who are kind to us. It’s part of our psyche, I think. It takes a hardened and callous person to betray that faith. Especially what… that man did.” Duncan took a harder edge to his words when he spoke the last part.
“Thanks for not saying evil. That would’ve been a bit melodramatic.” Ruben tried to bring some levity into the situation with a chuckle, but it rang hollow.
“I didn’t say he wasn’t evil,” Duncan retorted, his tone laced with cold fury. He feels that for me . Ruben wasn’t sure how he felt about that. A part of him liked it. “I’m afraid I’m one of those people who doesn’t get it. How causing another human being unspeakable pain and trauma can make someone hard and horny. It’s sick. To want to… force it, to violently take, to be brutal. No, I don’t understand it. And… I do think that man was evil to do what he did.” Duncan lowered his gaze, fidgeting nervously. “To someone as beautiful as you.”
“So ugly people can be raped, then?” Duncan’s gaze shot up, eyes wide with disbelief and growing anger. Ruben flushed with embarrassment. He had meant that as a joke, but since he didn’t have much experience with humor or social situations, he was clearly unsuccessful. “Sorry….” Ruben could feel Duncan’s eyes boring holes in him, and it was a sickening feeling.
The silence stretched
“It… didn’t happen quite like that….” He paused, puzzling about how to continue.
Duncan gaze looked up at Ruben, both sympathy and curiosity in his eyes. At least he looked at him squarely, not averting his gaze. “I’m not sure I understand.”
“Grandma Rose… well, she didn’t have all the facts. I… I lied to her.”
Warily and worried, Ruben observed Duncan’s reactions from under his brow. For what it was worth, Duncan seemed to have a hard time believing that. “Why would you lie to her?”
“I was… ashamed and embarrassed,” Ruben admitted quietly. This time it was his turn to stare into the depth of his black coffee, left in the dark about Duncan’s reactions. “You see, I… I invited him in.”
A sharp gasp from Duncan was the only indication he was listening intently.
Ruben felt mortified but braved on. “He was handsome, and he flirted with me. I was seventeen, with no experience to speak of, and his attention made my belly flutter. No guy had ever looked at me like that. How could I resist?”
It was a relief not to see Duncan’s face. Ruben was feverish, madly thinking about all the possibilities. Was Duncan disappointed? Was he angry, or pitying, or sympathetic? What Ruben couldn’t understand was how and when this man’s opinion had become so important to him that it dominated his moods, the highs and the lows alike.
“It wasn’t your fault.” Duncan’s voice cracked, but it was strong and adamant. Clearly he believed what he was saying. Surprisingly, that made Ruben feel a bit better.
Still, he distanced himself from the past events as he walked down memory lane, like he had been taught by the psychiatrists. “He came posing as an event planner, hired by Rose for one of her charity functions. I knew so little about that part of Grandma’s social life that I had no way of knowing if it was true. He seemed to know so much about Rose. So… I let him in.” He tried to say it with nonchalance but doubted he was successful.
Duncan sighed, and it was an almost despondent sound. “You lied because of his false story. You lied to protect Rose from the reason why you’d let him in.”
Ruben nodded, thankful Duncan understood. “Yes. That and being gullible. I should have known better. But he smiled and cajoled, and I was smitten. A teenage crush.”
“That’s perfectly understandable,” Duncan said, his tone soft and soothing now. He was offering Ruben comfort with his voice, and it worked like a charm. “We instinctively trust people who are kind to us. It’s part of our psyche, I think. It takes a hardened and callous person to betray that faith. Especially what… that man did.” Duncan took a harder edge to his words when he spoke the last part.
“Thanks for not saying evil. That would’ve been a bit melodramatic.” Ruben tried to bring some levity into the situation with a chuckle, but it rang hollow.
“I didn’t say he wasn’t evil,” Duncan retorted, his tone laced with cold fury. He feels that for me . Ruben wasn’t sure how he felt about that. A part of him liked it. “I’m afraid I’m one of those people who doesn’t get it. How causing another human being unspeakable pain and trauma can make someone hard and horny. It’s sick. To want to… force it, to violently take, to be brutal. No, I don’t understand it. And… I do think that man was evil to do what he did.” Duncan lowered his gaze, fidgeting nervously. “To someone as beautiful as you.”
“So ugly people can be raped, then?” Duncan’s gaze shot up, eyes wide with disbelief and growing anger. Ruben flushed with embarrassment. He had meant that as a joke, but since he didn’t have much experience with humor or social situations, he was clearly unsuccessful. “Sorry….” Ruben could feel Duncan’s eyes boring holes in him, and it was a sickening feeling.
The silence stretched
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