before. He must have
been let out during the day shift. I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.
I’m unreasonably disappointed by Slade’s sudden departure.
Of course he’s been discharged, he was good to go once the bleeding had stopped
and honestly he could have gone home yesterday. It’s not like he was ever going
to be a part of my life beyond our few days of knowing each other. I don’t know
why I let myself dabble in fantasies of being Slade Hale’s friend...or God
forbid something more. I’m sure that whatever chemistry I felt with him was
just his natural charm working me over. He probably took on sparring buddies
like me wherever he went.
I suddenly felt embarrassed by my little crush. At first, I
thought I’d be able to turn my nose up at Slade, and write him off as an
asshole man-child. But in the short time I’d known him, I felt like I’d gotten
through to him on some deeper level. For a tiny sliver of a moment, it felt as
though we’d connected. Am I totally crazy? Does everyone who talks to Slade for
more than a minute have the same feeling? Probably that’s it. He’s a celebrity,
after all. I’m sure that all kinds of people tend to fall into his orbit.
Still, I’m remarkably sad to see him go. I feel his absence
like a physical loss. Even if he won’t remember me a week from now, I feel like
I’m missing out on something now that he’s gone. I must have a screw loose, or
something.
Penny comes rushing into the room after me, starting at me from
the doorway. There’s a look of troubled concern on her face, and I watch as
comprehension begins to dawn. “Oh, Julia...” she says.
“Yeah,” I shrug, trying to laugh away the disappointment.
“You got attached, didn’t you?” she asks.
“I suppose I did, a little,” I say.
“Well, we all have favorites from time to time, don’t we?”
she says helpfully.
I nod, forcing a smile onto my face. I have a long shift
ahead of me, after all. It’s not like I can just pick up, go home, and mope for
a while. I have a job to do. I pick myself up off Slade’s abandoned hospital
bed, and give it one more long look. I can practically hear his laugher echoing
off the walls when I listen closely enough, see his cunning, handsome face
against the stiff white pillow. I shake my head, trying to scatter the memories
of him from my mind, but they don’t want to budge. I’m almost alarmed by how
strongly I’m reacting to his absence. We only spent two days together, after
all, it’s not like I’m losing the love of my life, here.
Penny and I walk back out into the ER, assuming our posts
once more. I put on my best airs of being collected and calm, hoping that if I
fake it long enough, it will just start to be true. Penny’s monitoring me, I
can tell—trying to gage what’s going on in my head.
“I guess he’ll get to play that show tomorrow night now,
huh?” she says.
“Who?” I ask dumbly.
“Oh, come on,” she says, rolling her eyes. “You know who.
Wasn’t there some concert that he wanted to play?”
“Oh. Right,” I say, “I think I remember him talking about
that.”
Of course I remember him talking about it. He’d nagged me
about it the entire time he was here. I’m happy for him, that he gets to play
the show like he had so badly wanted. But part of me wishes, selfishly, that he
was still here with me. How messed up is that—a nurse wishing for someone to
get worse rather than heal? I’m glad that no one can read my thoughts right
now. That certainly wouldn’t go over well with the doctors.
“You should go see it,” Penny said suddenly.
“The concert?” I ask. “No...I don’t think so.”
“Why not?” Penny demands.
“Can you see me at a rock concert?” I ask, “They’d all think
I was a narc or something.”
“You’d be fine. We could dress you up like a dirty hippie
and send you on your way,” Penny says, bopping up and down on the balls of her
feet.
“I’m sure it’s sold out
been let out during the day shift. I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye.
I’m unreasonably disappointed by Slade’s sudden departure.
Of course he’s been discharged, he was good to go once the bleeding had stopped
and honestly he could have gone home yesterday. It’s not like he was ever going
to be a part of my life beyond our few days of knowing each other. I don’t know
why I let myself dabble in fantasies of being Slade Hale’s friend...or God
forbid something more. I’m sure that whatever chemistry I felt with him was
just his natural charm working me over. He probably took on sparring buddies
like me wherever he went.
I suddenly felt embarrassed by my little crush. At first, I
thought I’d be able to turn my nose up at Slade, and write him off as an
asshole man-child. But in the short time I’d known him, I felt like I’d gotten
through to him on some deeper level. For a tiny sliver of a moment, it felt as
though we’d connected. Am I totally crazy? Does everyone who talks to Slade for
more than a minute have the same feeling? Probably that’s it. He’s a celebrity,
after all. I’m sure that all kinds of people tend to fall into his orbit.
Still, I’m remarkably sad to see him go. I feel his absence
like a physical loss. Even if he won’t remember me a week from now, I feel like
I’m missing out on something now that he’s gone. I must have a screw loose, or
something.
Penny comes rushing into the room after me, starting at me from
the doorway. There’s a look of troubled concern on her face, and I watch as
comprehension begins to dawn. “Oh, Julia...” she says.
“Yeah,” I shrug, trying to laugh away the disappointment.
“You got attached, didn’t you?” she asks.
“I suppose I did, a little,” I say.
“Well, we all have favorites from time to time, don’t we?”
she says helpfully.
I nod, forcing a smile onto my face. I have a long shift
ahead of me, after all. It’s not like I can just pick up, go home, and mope for
a while. I have a job to do. I pick myself up off Slade’s abandoned hospital
bed, and give it one more long look. I can practically hear his laugher echoing
off the walls when I listen closely enough, see his cunning, handsome face
against the stiff white pillow. I shake my head, trying to scatter the memories
of him from my mind, but they don’t want to budge. I’m almost alarmed by how
strongly I’m reacting to his absence. We only spent two days together, after
all, it’s not like I’m losing the love of my life, here.
Penny and I walk back out into the ER, assuming our posts
once more. I put on my best airs of being collected and calm, hoping that if I
fake it long enough, it will just start to be true. Penny’s monitoring me, I
can tell—trying to gage what’s going on in my head.
“I guess he’ll get to play that show tomorrow night now,
huh?” she says.
“Who?” I ask dumbly.
“Oh, come on,” she says, rolling her eyes. “You know who.
Wasn’t there some concert that he wanted to play?”
“Oh. Right,” I say, “I think I remember him talking about
that.”
Of course I remember him talking about it. He’d nagged me
about it the entire time he was here. I’m happy for him, that he gets to play
the show like he had so badly wanted. But part of me wishes, selfishly, that he
was still here with me. How messed up is that—a nurse wishing for someone to
get worse rather than heal? I’m glad that no one can read my thoughts right
now. That certainly wouldn’t go over well with the doctors.
“You should go see it,” Penny said suddenly.
“The concert?” I ask. “No...I don’t think so.”
“Why not?” Penny demands.
“Can you see me at a rock concert?” I ask, “They’d all think
I was a narc or something.”
“You’d be fine. We could dress you up like a dirty hippie
and send you on your way,” Penny says, bopping up and down on the balls of her
feet.
“I’m sure it’s sold out
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