worse. He wanted to kick his own ass for starting all of this.
Last night, Heidi had planned one hell of an evening, and when she left it had pissed him off, but it wasn’t until Missy left too that he had finally clued in to what an ass he was being. Her words had hit home.
After Heidi had told him to enjoy himself before she left, he let his frustration out on Rafe without thinking too much about it. Who was Nathan to turn down a hot, naked, willing man in his bed? But then he’d spent the rest of the night upset by a bunch of things. His life had just gotten way more complicated than it needed to be, but right now all that mattered to him was seeing if he could salvage what he had with Heidi before it was too late. The thought of her with Rafe, or anyone else but him, had his skin crawling and blood boiling. Would she forgive him, though?
His arms flopped to his sides, and his shoulders slumped in defeat as he sipped the worst coffee he’d ever tasted and cursed. Where the fuck was she? And did he have a right to be upset she hadn’t come home to him after everything he’d done?
****
When Heidi came home from work, she was exhausted, but upon seeing a puff of black smoke coming from the kitchen, she suddenly had a burst of energy. What in the hell? She rushed forward and brushed past Nathan to the source. She involuntarily coughed as she opened up the oven door to see what was inside. After quickly turning off the stove, she put oven mitts on and threw the charred pot in the sink to cool off.
“What exactly is that supposed to be?” She fanned her face and tried not to smile at Nathan’s comical expression. She ignored him instead and walked past him again to get the fan from the hallway closet. “Want to explain what you’re doing in here?”
Nathan hit the fire alarm with the broom handle to shut up its beeping. “I was trying to make you dinner.”
“But why?” she asked through chuckles. Nathan could barely boil water.
“Because I was an ass last night, and it scared me when you didn’t come home. I didn’t like it, and I’m hoping to make it up to you somehow.”
“You were a royal jerkwad,” she said, and her fit of laughter died down. It was back to reality. And God, she loved him, but she also needed to learn how to stop if it was going to hurt this much. “Last night was certainly an eye opener, Nathan, but I could never stay mad at you for very long.” She tried giving him a smile, but it was weak, and she was in definite need of a subject change before she started crying again or something. “But why don’t you let me handle dinner tonight? Or we may have to find somewhere else to live after you burn the place down.” She picked up the phone to order a pizza.
“Thanks, Heidi, but about last night—”
“Please, Nathan, it’s still too raw for me to talk about. I’ve come to a conclusion I think will make you pretty happy anyway. I can’t lose you, so I want to continue with the way things were before, but I just can’t be intimate with you without wanting so much more. Sadly, the so much more I want I also know I’ll never get from you, but you’re my best friend, Nathan De Costa, and you always will be.” She gulped and tried hard to conceal her emotions from him. Stay strong, Heidi. You can do this!
It wasn’t working, though, and she could feel her eyes welling with a sheen of tears, and her throat became thick with grief. Escape. Escape now. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to order and then take a shower and relax. Let me know when the pizza gets here, okay?” She went to retrieve a twenty from her wallet, placed it on the kitchen table, and walked out of the room without looking back at him again. He stood there silently watching the whole time.
Foregoing her room, she headed straight for the bathroom and leaned against the door when it shut behind her. Then, and only then, did she allow herself to cry one last time over this before painfully
Last night, Heidi had planned one hell of an evening, and when she left it had pissed him off, but it wasn’t until Missy left too that he had finally clued in to what an ass he was being. Her words had hit home.
After Heidi had told him to enjoy himself before she left, he let his frustration out on Rafe without thinking too much about it. Who was Nathan to turn down a hot, naked, willing man in his bed? But then he’d spent the rest of the night upset by a bunch of things. His life had just gotten way more complicated than it needed to be, but right now all that mattered to him was seeing if he could salvage what he had with Heidi before it was too late. The thought of her with Rafe, or anyone else but him, had his skin crawling and blood boiling. Would she forgive him, though?
His arms flopped to his sides, and his shoulders slumped in defeat as he sipped the worst coffee he’d ever tasted and cursed. Where the fuck was she? And did he have a right to be upset she hadn’t come home to him after everything he’d done?
****
When Heidi came home from work, she was exhausted, but upon seeing a puff of black smoke coming from the kitchen, she suddenly had a burst of energy. What in the hell? She rushed forward and brushed past Nathan to the source. She involuntarily coughed as she opened up the oven door to see what was inside. After quickly turning off the stove, she put oven mitts on and threw the charred pot in the sink to cool off.
“What exactly is that supposed to be?” She fanned her face and tried not to smile at Nathan’s comical expression. She ignored him instead and walked past him again to get the fan from the hallway closet. “Want to explain what you’re doing in here?”
Nathan hit the fire alarm with the broom handle to shut up its beeping. “I was trying to make you dinner.”
“But why?” she asked through chuckles. Nathan could barely boil water.
“Because I was an ass last night, and it scared me when you didn’t come home. I didn’t like it, and I’m hoping to make it up to you somehow.”
“You were a royal jerkwad,” she said, and her fit of laughter died down. It was back to reality. And God, she loved him, but she also needed to learn how to stop if it was going to hurt this much. “Last night was certainly an eye opener, Nathan, but I could never stay mad at you for very long.” She tried giving him a smile, but it was weak, and she was in definite need of a subject change before she started crying again or something. “But why don’t you let me handle dinner tonight? Or we may have to find somewhere else to live after you burn the place down.” She picked up the phone to order a pizza.
“Thanks, Heidi, but about last night—”
“Please, Nathan, it’s still too raw for me to talk about. I’ve come to a conclusion I think will make you pretty happy anyway. I can’t lose you, so I want to continue with the way things were before, but I just can’t be intimate with you without wanting so much more. Sadly, the so much more I want I also know I’ll never get from you, but you’re my best friend, Nathan De Costa, and you always will be.” She gulped and tried hard to conceal her emotions from him. Stay strong, Heidi. You can do this!
It wasn’t working, though, and she could feel her eyes welling with a sheen of tears, and her throat became thick with grief. Escape. Escape now. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to order and then take a shower and relax. Let me know when the pizza gets here, okay?” She went to retrieve a twenty from her wallet, placed it on the kitchen table, and walked out of the room without looking back at him again. He stood there silently watching the whole time.
Foregoing her room, she headed straight for the bathroom and leaned against the door when it shut behind her. Then, and only then, did she allow herself to cry one last time over this before painfully
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