Danika's Gift by Jayn Wilde

and breathed in his scent.  He had slipped in to my room, and he was right behind me. Derek’s breath was warm on my neck.  I didn’t want to turn.  I didn’t want to look into those eyes and lose my wits.  He didn’t touch me, but the energy that simmered off of his body seemed to be drawn to my own.  I felt hot and I felt energized.
    “Did you miss me?”  Derek’s voice was husky. 
    I couldn’t answer.  My throat stopped working.  I simply nodded.
    “Danika, please, I need you.” 
    Damn.  Now why did he have to go and say that?  My heart ached from not being with him for just those two days.  My mind hurt with all the thoughts and questions that nagged at my brain.  My throat burned with the words I wanted to say.  My eyes stung from the tears that wanted to fall.
    “I was worried about you,” my voice was barely a whisper.
    He still didn’t touch me.  Yet, somehow, I could feel him.  It was surreal.  As if he had wrapped a blanket around me.  I could feel his embrace, but it lacked the heat of his skin, the thrill of his touch.
    “I am so very sorry.”
    I heard the thickness in his words.  I wondered if he felt as lost as I did.  It was like being apart actually made me half a person.  Did he feel the same?  Could we be whole if we were together again?
    I wanted to feel his arms around me.  I had to know if being with him was what made me feel safe.  Complete.  Inwardly, I chuckled as I thought of the line from Jerry Maguire.  But, truly, when we were together, it was as if I had found my other half and indeed, Derek did complete me.  I leaned backwards just a little.  Would he take me in his arms?
    “Danika…” his voice was strangled.  I think he wanted it as much as I did.  Yet, we were both terrified of what it meant.  And, what would happen if we were apart again?  How can one live without the other?  He still wasn’t touching me and I was going insane.
    I turned slowly, keeping my eyes low.  I didn’t want to seem desperate, even though I was.  I needed to know how he felt before I could move forward.  I had to ask him and just deal with what came of it.
    “Do you want to be with me, Derek?”
    “No.”
    I was afraid he might say that, and yet it crushed me all the same. 
    Hooking a finger under my chin, causing me to look up in to his eyes, he smiled.  “I need to be with you.  I have to be with you.  I cannot be without you.  I want you in such a way that it excites, hurts and scares me all at the same time. That wanting goes against every logical thought I have.” Derek’s eyes looked glassy.  “And yet the more I deny it, the stronger it gets.  It’s like an addiction.  You don’t want it…yet you need it.”
    I knew what he was saying was true.  It was in his eyes.  And, I felt the same about him.  It hurt to want him so badly.  It even caused me to get angry.  But my need for him outweighed the anger.  I just didn’t understand what this thing between us was and where to go from here.
    Derek swiped away a tear on my cheek .  I suddenly felt drained and tired.  I walked away from Derek, and over to my bed.  I was fully clothed, and so was he.  I pulled back the blankets and laid down.  I looked into his beautiful green eyes and motioned for him to come to me not wanting him to leave.  He didn’t have to read my mind to know what I wanted.  I just wanted to lie in his arms and feel safe and loved.  I didn’t know where we’d go from here, but I wanted this time with him. 
    Derek cuddled up beside me and I rested my head on his chest.  I listened to the beating of his heart.  He had been nervous when he first laid down, but after a few minutes, his heartbeat steadied and his breathing slowed.  I knew he was asleep and I drifted off slowly after. 
     
    Chapter 5
    Derek
                  God she felt so good in my arms.  Her body fit against mine perfectly.  She was soft and warm, curvy and the perfect size.