Hell, Fire & Freedom (Fighting for Freedom) by Shannon Callahan Page B

that happens a lot, all you have to do is let me know. No need to be embarrassed,” she says, moving to cloak me in a hug. She’s done so much for me already, I can’t turn down a perfectly good job without even trying. I also can’t sit around the house while Marie is in school either. I’ll drive myself crazy.
    “No, no, I’ll go to the interview. I just haven’t had one since I was fifteen. I’m a bit nervous is all, but I’m grateful for the opportunity,” I lie. I plaster on the biggest fake smile I can muster and look away. Marie comes back from the room, still smiling.
    I begin filling out the application while Tara talks to Marie about her new school. She gives her a school supply list, and they chat about the location. It’s just two blocks over from our building. I finish the forms in record time, without even processing the importance of them all. I just want to be alone for a moment.
    I hand the forms back to Tara, and she gives me the details of my appointments today. First off, the doctor, then my interview, and then finally she managed to squeeze Marie and me in with a therapist later this afternoon. I thank her and am truly blessed by all she has done to help us. It still doesn’t stop me from feeling relieved when the door closes behind her, though.
    “Hey, want to check out the rest of the apartment?” Marie asks excitedly. I would really like to find a closet and hide for the rest of the day, but I figure if I pick a room, I can at least be alone with my thoughts before leaving to see the doctor. I immediately feel guilty. Marie deserves so much more than I have to offer her today.
    “I’d love to,” I manage to say. We do a walk-through of the apartment, and I choose the smaller room just off the kitchen. It still has a queen sized bed, a large dresser, and a bright, sunny window. The walls are painted a lovely shade of purple, and it feels bright and cheery. I insisted Marie take the bigger bedroom even though she argued until she was blue in the face that she didn’t need it. I could live in a cardboard box, and I’d be happier than where I was a month ago. Most of all, though, I want to be the one closest to the front door. If Carl ever gets in somehow ... I’m hoping he will find me first.
    I excuse myself for a nap, telling her she should go watch some TV, but to stay off the internet until we figure out what’s safe to do. There’s still the matter of calling to check on Ma, but that’s something I really don’t want to think about at the moment. I have an hour until my doctor’s appointment, and I desperately need to clear my head, so she doesn’t see how incredibly crazy I am and commit me. I decide tha the best thing to do is to try and nap.
    Marie wakes me half an hour later, and we call Ma at the hospital before starting our day. The doctor informs us that she’s still sedated, and there hasn’t been much change since Marie saw her last.
    We take a taxi to the hospital for our appointments. My name is called first, so Marie stays in the waiting room while I see Dr. Enman. She’s a lovely young doctor with chin length dirty blond hair, rosy cheeks, and an incredibly upbeat attitude. She removes my IUD as it’s been over five years since I’ve had it in. I was supposed to get it out a few months ago, but it just wasn’t possible to have it removed without Carl finding out. Thankfully, Dr. Enman doesn’t scold me for it, or even ask questions as to why I left it in for so long.
    We talk more about birth control; she would like me to have a full cycle before inserting another IUD or choosing another form of birth control so my body has a chance to regulate itself first. She sends me for an x-ray to make sure any breaks Carl managed to inflict have healed properly. It turns out one of my ribs is still in the healing process, but luckily all other breaks have managed to set correctly on their own.
    I stay in the room while Marie has her check-up. Just as I thought,