sophisticated grown-ups whom he’d taken to
restaurants and the theater. Conversation with them had been engaging and he’d wanted
to take them to bed afterwards, but he hadn’t felt compelled to see them much afterwards.
They’d been background noise to the buzz of his life.
He could never describe Ellie as background noise.
He watched as she made faces at a little girl sitting in another cart to stop her
crying. The girl stared at Ellie in fascination and even gave her a smile at a particularly
screwy face.
He felt a tug in his chest as he saw how happy that smile made Ellie. She’d be a great
mum: he could imagine her surrounded by curly haired children, all as loopy as she
was. His throat felt peculiar so he tried clearing it with a cough. Ellie glanced
back and saw him waiting.
“Sorry, got a bit distracted. Let’s grab some more stuff.”
“No rush,” he said, as she busied off toward the chilled section.
• • •
Ellie walked quickly away from Gideon and the cute child before he noticed the tear
that had forced its way out of her eye.
After reveling in the joy of making the little girl laugh, the feeling had been quickly
replaced with the painful longing and bitter jealousy that had been gripping her since
Paul left.
She wanted to have children. She would have had them years ago if it had been solely
her decision, but she’d agreed to wait until he was ready. Look where that had got
her.
Even though she enjoyed her job as a primary school teacher, she craved raising children
of her own. It was something she’d been desperate for since her early twenties, and
Paul had let her think they might even start trying not long before he walked out
on her. A wave of humiliation hit her as she remembered how she’d hinted to her parents
that they might be grandparents soon. They’d been so ridiculously pleased at the prospect
that she hadn’t been able to tell them about splitting up with Paul for ages.
All her hope and excitement about the future had been wrenched away from her. She
was nearly thirty, single, and starting to run out of time to find someone to start
a family with.
When she was younger she’d thought she would be married with at least two kids by
now, but time had moved so quickly and now here she was, still alone.
Gideon came up behind her as she stood staring at the pasta shelf, trying to pull
herself together.
“Got a pasta preference?” he asked.
She shook her head, partly to answer him, partly to clear it.
He reached around her, brushing his hand against her arm as he went to grab some tagliatelle.
Her skin tingled where he’d touched her. An ache had begun low in her body and she
felt even more like crying at the power of the need. Everything was so messed up.
He tugged gently on one of her curls and she took a deep breath, dredged up a smile
and turned to face him.
He frowned at her. “Are you okay?”
“Sure,” she answered, giving him a dismissive wave. “My head’s a bit heavy, that’s
all.”
He continued to frown at her for a moment.
The tears welled behind her eyes again, so she leaned forward and kissed him gently
on the cheek so he wouldn’t see. The heat of his body burned into her. “It’s fun being
here with you,” she said quietly into his ear, unwilling to move away from the security
of the embrace.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” His fingers circled her arm and he pulled away to look
her in the face again.
“I’m peachy,” she said, pulling away from his grip. “Onward to the cheese aisle.”
When the cart was full, Ellie found a free cashier and began to chuck the food willy-nilly
onto the conveyor belt, keeping her eyes down so Gideon wouldn’t see the battle to
keep her expression relaxed. Even a simple shopping trip had her in pieces. She took
out her frustration on the oranges, bouncing them onto the moving surface.
“Steady on, Ellie, it’s not the Supermarket
restaurants and the theater. Conversation with them had been engaging and he’d wanted
to take them to bed afterwards, but he hadn’t felt compelled to see them much afterwards.
They’d been background noise to the buzz of his life.
He could never describe Ellie as background noise.
He watched as she made faces at a little girl sitting in another cart to stop her
crying. The girl stared at Ellie in fascination and even gave her a smile at a particularly
screwy face.
He felt a tug in his chest as he saw how happy that smile made Ellie. She’d be a great
mum: he could imagine her surrounded by curly haired children, all as loopy as she
was. His throat felt peculiar so he tried clearing it with a cough. Ellie glanced
back and saw him waiting.
“Sorry, got a bit distracted. Let’s grab some more stuff.”
“No rush,” he said, as she busied off toward the chilled section.
• • •
Ellie walked quickly away from Gideon and the cute child before he noticed the tear
that had forced its way out of her eye.
After reveling in the joy of making the little girl laugh, the feeling had been quickly
replaced with the painful longing and bitter jealousy that had been gripping her since
Paul left.
She wanted to have children. She would have had them years ago if it had been solely
her decision, but she’d agreed to wait until he was ready. Look where that had got
her.
Even though she enjoyed her job as a primary school teacher, she craved raising children
of her own. It was something she’d been desperate for since her early twenties, and
Paul had let her think they might even start trying not long before he walked out
on her. A wave of humiliation hit her as she remembered how she’d hinted to her parents
that they might be grandparents soon. They’d been so ridiculously pleased at the prospect
that she hadn’t been able to tell them about splitting up with Paul for ages.
All her hope and excitement about the future had been wrenched away from her. She
was nearly thirty, single, and starting to run out of time to find someone to start
a family with.
When she was younger she’d thought she would be married with at least two kids by
now, but time had moved so quickly and now here she was, still alone.
Gideon came up behind her as she stood staring at the pasta shelf, trying to pull
herself together.
“Got a pasta preference?” he asked.
She shook her head, partly to answer him, partly to clear it.
He reached around her, brushing his hand against her arm as he went to grab some tagliatelle.
Her skin tingled where he’d touched her. An ache had begun low in her body and she
felt even more like crying at the power of the need. Everything was so messed up.
He tugged gently on one of her curls and she took a deep breath, dredged up a smile
and turned to face him.
He frowned at her. “Are you okay?”
“Sure,” she answered, giving him a dismissive wave. “My head’s a bit heavy, that’s
all.”
He continued to frown at her for a moment.
The tears welled behind her eyes again, so she leaned forward and kissed him gently
on the cheek so he wouldn’t see. The heat of his body burned into her. “It’s fun being
here with you,” she said quietly into his ear, unwilling to move away from the security
of the embrace.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” His fingers circled her arm and he pulled away to look
her in the face again.
“I’m peachy,” she said, pulling away from his grip. “Onward to the cheese aisle.”
When the cart was full, Ellie found a free cashier and began to chuck the food willy-nilly
onto the conveyor belt, keeping her eyes down so Gideon wouldn’t see the battle to
keep her expression relaxed. Even a simple shopping trip had her in pieces. She took
out her frustration on the oranges, bouncing them onto the moving surface.
“Steady on, Ellie, it’s not the Supermarket
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