need right now is more bad news.
Cadence
The last time I was standing here, it was dark. The only lights around for miles the ones slipped through the trees around us and the far away street lamps that lined the street where it begins.
Dillon’s idea of spending time with me tonight is taking me back where it all began for us, only this time it’s complete with a picnic basket and food.
I can’t believe it’s been almost a year since I’ve been here. Since we’ve been here together.
The rock that we spray painted the day we got together, it’s still as colorful as it was then, even if there is a lot more dirt attached that wasn’t there the last time. The heart he designed is still intact and the same way it jumps off the rock, my very real heart does every single time we’re together like this.
So much has happened here. It’s the first place he ever heard me and where our first kiss took place. It’s the place where we got back together after a misunderstanding of epic proportions. It’s where we began and as the paint on the sidewalk, faded but still visible states, it’s a beginning with no end.
“So,” he leans in once and whispers against my lips. “Does this beat Kayden’s sofa for places to have dinner?”
“Just a little.” I answer back, my breath still taken and my head a jumble of memories as I continue to take in everything moving around us.
“I know it’s not as fancy as the last time we were here, but I figured it was time for a visit.”
“The ravine has never been fancy. If I remember right, you said it was murky.”
“I did say that, but only after you said it first.” He admits before bending over and slipping a checkered blanket from the basket and tossing it across the grass, bringing out the soda cans and plates, followed up by the food. Motioning when he’s done for me to sit, he slides his own body down onto the blanket and when I finally sit and look at him, he flashes his familiar smile.
The comfortable one. The smile that tells me how he feels without a word being spoken.
“I also remember saying that it reminded me of us.”
“Does it still?”
“Yes, but not in the same way. Nothing about what we have is murky. It’s all clear and the way it’s supposed to be.”
“How is it supposed to be?”
It still amazes me how easily I speak when I’m around him. After spending the last couple of days in virtual silence, deviating back to the way I am normally, the openness I have being here with him now still manages to take me off guard.
“Well for starters it’s supposed to be us together and I think we’ve nailed that pretty nicely. It’s also supposed to be comfortable. Easy. No drama, no fears about shit waiting for us when we leave. Happy. It’s just supposed to be what it is.”
I never pictured Dillon for a romantic, even after what he did last year in order to let me hear him, but every day, especially since he got back from the city, he’s finding ways to prove just how much of a romantic he is.
This is what happens when you’ve been keeping things bottled up for years and finally have the freedom to let them out. It’s amazing. I want to focus on it, keep things the peaceful easy way they’ve been since I showed up at school today, but I know I can’t. I need to tell him what really landed me at his practice.
Well, besides wanting to see him suited up.
“My doctor called today.”
“Is that why you came to visit?”
“Yes.”
“What did he say?”
“If I’m serious about going through with this, he’s got a surgery date for the implantation.”
“When?”
“Two weeks from today. Early morning.”
“Okay. Well, I’ll pick you and your mom up at the house that day and we’ll all go together.”
How resigned he is to what he wants to do, not even giving it a second thought, warms me. I knew he would be like this, but because I’m always thinking of every variable, I knew classes might be an issue. It’s
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