Hidden by ML Ross

done working, we’ll have dinner and hang out or something.
 Sound good?”
        “Yeah.”
 It’s all I can get out.  It may sound like nothing, but I’ve never
hung out with anyone. What does that even mean?  He seems unsure about
leaving me alone but I’ve been alone for eighteen years.  It’s what I’m
used to.
        “Feel
free to use whatever you need in Laney’s room.  She won’t mind.  She
has tons of clothes and whatever you may need.”
        “Thanks.”
        After
Dillon heads out to the ranch, I find myself exploring Laney’s room.  I’m
sure it’s a typical girl’s room, but I’ve never seen anything like it.
 There is so much color everywhere.  She must like purple.  She
has makeup and perfume and lots and lots of clothes.  There are books and
stuffed animals everywhere.  I spray a bit of her perfume on my wrists.
 It smells like candy.  I like it.  I keep sniffing it as I
gather a bunch of books from her shelves that look interesting.  Very
interesting.  
        As
always, when I feel the need to escape from my thoughts and my loneliness, I
read.  I curl up on Laney’s bed and open one of the books.  This one
is about an awkward girl that falls in love with the high school jock.
 It’s nothing like Romeo and Juliet or Pride and Prejudice.  I love
reading about kids in school.  It sounds like so much fun; best friends,
dances, and boys.  About halfway through, my eyes get wide as I read about
the things he does to her body. Things with his tongue, his fingers and
his….cock?  I’ve read text books about sex.  They use technical
terms.  The words they use and how they describe sex in these books is
nothing like I’ve read before.  I’ve been told touching is dirty and evil,
but yet as I read about this boy touching the girl, licking and sucking on her
skin, pushing his cock inside of her, I feel other things.  Parts of my
body awaken. I feel pulsing sensations and wetness between my legs.  My
body screams to be touched, but my mind is warring with it, conjuring up
visions of my mother screaming and crying while the skinny man does things to
her.  I think about the things I’ve seen and the things she’s told me and
it terrifies me.  But when I think about Dillon, my heart races, my skin
heats up, and my belly flutters.  It doesn’t feel dirty or scary, it feels
good.  I want so badly to crawl into his arms, to feel his warm body
against mine.  I want him to touch me like this boy in the book touches
the girl.  I need to quiet my mind and let my body win the war.  I
finish the first book and scan the pile for another, but then I hear a faint
knock on the door.
        “Amy?”
        “Come
in.”
       “Hey,” he
says poking his head inside the door.  “I just need to hop in the shower
and then I’m all yours.  You doing okay?”
        I
nod.  He smiles at me and closes the door behind him.  I let out a
big whoosh of air.  He was sweaty; really sweaty.  His shirt was
clinging to his chest and I could see the outline of his muscles.  Then he
said he was all mine.  I don’t think he realizes what his words mean to
me.
        An
hour later, Dillon is freshly showered.  His hair is damp and messy and he
smells so good.  We stand side by side in the kitchen putting together a
pasta dish from a recipe he got from his sister. He pulls out pots and pans
from the cabinets and ingredients from his pantry.  His pantry is huge.
 I can’t bring myself to go inside.  His kitchen is nothing like what
I’m used to.  It’s big and bright with lots of windows.  Dillon hands
me a tomato and a knife.
        “You
like to cook?” he asks.
        “Never
really have.  Just soup and stuff.”
        I
pick up the knife with one hand and steady the tomato with the other, but I’m
unsure of what the hell I’m supposed to do.  He notices my hesitation and
without a word, gently puts his hand over mine and shows