you put
yourself out there.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I took a
final glance at the mirror before moving to the window. “I’ve been meaning to
ask, how are things going with your parents?” With everything that had been
going on, I had completely forgotten about why I had been at the farm.
I heard her quiet release
of breath and I braced myself for what was coming. “They’re...well, they’re my
parents. They have been trying to convince me to go back to New York with
them. And before you get your panties in a bunch, my answer was no then, and
it will be no tomorrow.”
I needed to be selfless at
that point, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. “I’m really glad to hear
that. You have no idea how glad.”
“Did you actually think I
would leave? Damn Katy...”
“I didn’t think you would,
but you can’t blame me for being worried. I mean, Betty is gone. You’re out
of high school. What happens next?”
“Next? That’s a good
question. I’ll let you know when I figure it out.” She let out a frustrated
laugh, the sound barely audible. “I’ve still got some time, ya know?”
“Yeah, you do. But...if
you’re planning on going to school...well, they won’t be taking applications
forever.”
She was quiet again. I
knew that I had hit a sore spot. That was probably one of the biggest reasons
that her parents wanted her to go home. How could she take care of the farm
and go to school at the same time? That was a huge responsibility, and one of
those life changing decisions that couldn’t be made without time.
“I know. Damn...do I
know.” I could hear her bed squeak as she spoke. “I’ll figure it out. Soon,
hopefully.”
“Looks like we both have
some sh-stuff to figure out.”
“You’ve been hanging out
with Brian too much already.” She laughed out loud, causing me to smile. It
had been too long since she had really laughed. “Okay, it’s time to put up or
shut up. Are you going over there?”
I stared out the window,
taking note of the once-green grass in the yard. It was turning a muted shade
of yellow and brown since it had been a dry summer so far. I knew that I
wanted to find out what was going on between Brian and myself, but did I have
the courage to just show up at his house? I hoped so.
“I don’t have much of a
choice, do I?” I walked away from the window and grabbed my purse off my bed.
“I’ll call you later and let you know how it goes.”
“You can do this. Just be
the ball-busting sweetheart that we all know and love.”
I threw my phone into my
purse and left my room. I knew I wouldn’t run into my mom at this time of day,
but I had to be careful. The afternoons were her worst time of day, and the
most common time for me to find her passed out somewhere random. As I made my
way downstairs, I smelled something cooking. What in the hell could she be
cooking? I rushed to the kitchen and there she was. Clothed in her ratty
bathrobe, her hair piled in a heap on top of her head, she stood there in front
of the stove.
“Mom, what are you doing?”
I scrambled to her side and pulled her back from the open flame. Gas stoves
and drunken mothers were never a good mix. “If you were hungry you could have
asked me to make you something.”
I walked her over to the
kitchen table and sat her down. She let out a grunt, but was otherwise quiet.
I looked down at her, my hands on my hips. At that moment I wanted nothing
more than to just walk away. Let her play with the stove. But then I
remembered the last time...when she tried to burn the house down. A shudder
ran through my body and I mentally kicked myself for even thinking about it.
“Okay Mom, what do you
want to eat? I’ll make you something.” I looked at her glassy eyes and
noticed deep, purple bruising under her eyes. She wasn’t sleeping again.
Great. “Mom? You in there?”
She didn’t move.
yourself out there.”
“Yeah, yeah.” I took a
final glance at the mirror before moving to the window. “I’ve been meaning to
ask, how are things going with your parents?” With everything that had been
going on, I had completely forgotten about why I had been at the farm.
I heard her quiet release
of breath and I braced myself for what was coming. “They’re...well, they’re my
parents. They have been trying to convince me to go back to New York with
them. And before you get your panties in a bunch, my answer was no then, and
it will be no tomorrow.”
I needed to be selfless at
that point, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. “I’m really glad to hear
that. You have no idea how glad.”
“Did you actually think I
would leave? Damn Katy...”
“I didn’t think you would,
but you can’t blame me for being worried. I mean, Betty is gone. You’re out
of high school. What happens next?”
“Next? That’s a good
question. I’ll let you know when I figure it out.” She let out a frustrated
laugh, the sound barely audible. “I’ve still got some time, ya know?”
“Yeah, you do. But...if
you’re planning on going to school...well, they won’t be taking applications
forever.”
She was quiet again. I
knew that I had hit a sore spot. That was probably one of the biggest reasons
that her parents wanted her to go home. How could she take care of the farm
and go to school at the same time? That was a huge responsibility, and one of
those life changing decisions that couldn’t be made without time.
“I know. Damn...do I
know.” I could hear her bed squeak as she spoke. “I’ll figure it out. Soon,
hopefully.”
“Looks like we both have
some sh-stuff to figure out.”
“You’ve been hanging out
with Brian too much already.” She laughed out loud, causing me to smile. It
had been too long since she had really laughed. “Okay, it’s time to put up or
shut up. Are you going over there?”
I stared out the window,
taking note of the once-green grass in the yard. It was turning a muted shade
of yellow and brown since it had been a dry summer so far. I knew that I
wanted to find out what was going on between Brian and myself, but did I have
the courage to just show up at his house? I hoped so.
“I don’t have much of a
choice, do I?” I walked away from the window and grabbed my purse off my bed.
“I’ll call you later and let you know how it goes.”
“You can do this. Just be
the ball-busting sweetheart that we all know and love.”
I threw my phone into my
purse and left my room. I knew I wouldn’t run into my mom at this time of day,
but I had to be careful. The afternoons were her worst time of day, and the
most common time for me to find her passed out somewhere random. As I made my
way downstairs, I smelled something cooking. What in the hell could she be
cooking? I rushed to the kitchen and there she was. Clothed in her ratty
bathrobe, her hair piled in a heap on top of her head, she stood there in front
of the stove.
“Mom, what are you doing?”
I scrambled to her side and pulled her back from the open flame. Gas stoves
and drunken mothers were never a good mix. “If you were hungry you could have
asked me to make you something.”
I walked her over to the
kitchen table and sat her down. She let out a grunt, but was otherwise quiet.
I looked down at her, my hands on my hips. At that moment I wanted nothing
more than to just walk away. Let her play with the stove. But then I
remembered the last time...when she tried to burn the house down. A shudder
ran through my body and I mentally kicked myself for even thinking about it.
“Okay Mom, what do you
want to eat? I’ll make you something.” I looked at her glassy eyes and
noticed deep, purple bruising under her eyes. She wasn’t sleeping again.
Great. “Mom? You in there?”
She didn’t move.
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