Hide Her Name by Nadine Dorries Page B

to put as much space as she possibly could between herself and what Kathleen had said.
    Space, so that the words would not touch her, but would fall to the floor and shatter before they reached her. Space, to protect and save her.
    But the words had been spoken. They were crawling all over her, already inside her, screaming in her head, piercing her heart.
    It was too late. No escape. She had become what the words had made her.
    ‘A baby? Oh God, Mammy, no, not me. I can’t!’ She looked to Maura with her hand outstretched.
    And then they all died a little as Kitty howled with both her hands clutching at her abdomen as though testing to see if Kathleen were telling the truth.
    Everyone in the room began to cry, even Alice.
    But Kitty knew. As the words slowly filtered deeper and settled into place, she knew. She had seen Maura and other women on the street in the same situation often enough. Her mind was recoiling. Her heart sank and the fight, which had quickly flared up in her, took its leave and left.
    It was true. Really, she already knew.
    Within seconds, Maura was at her side, shaken out of her stupor by Kitty’s distress. Her child needed her.
    Kitty made a sound like that of an animal in pain as they stood and rocked together, Maura absorbing Kitty’s agony, holding her upright.
    Kitty, in her torment, provided Maura with a reason not to fall apart.
    Nellie hadn’t moved from her chair and had begun to cry quietly to herself, stunned by the news and shedding her own tears for the loss of Kitty’s childhood.
    Alice had jumped up and was making another pot of tea while Kathleen began washing the pots in the sink. Ordinary tasks, ushering normality back into the room.
    Kathleen could hear Joseph stirring in the large box Maura used as a baby basket. Kitty’s crying had woken him. Time to put things back on an even keel, she thought, as she watched Alice pick him up to change his nappy. Now, as she dried the wet cups and saucers, Kathleen felt a sense of relief that Kitty now knew.
    Kathleen had won at the bingo twice this month. The money had been placed straight into the bread bin with the money she was paid for reading the tea leaves at her kitchen table on a Friday morning.
    She was not short of money. Joe had been a clever and hard-working farmer and they had done well, because they were careful and had saved. Now Kathleen spoke again.
    ‘Sit down now, Kitty,’ she said kindly. ‘Nothing can alter the facts, but we have to find a way to deal with them.’ She gestured towards a chair at the kitchen table. ‘Ye may be pregnant, Kitty, but really, ’tis our problem too. We will sort it and don’t ye worry about a thing. This is one for the grown-ups.’
    Kitty’s crying subsided and an expression of desperate gratitude flooded her face.
    ‘Maura, pull yourself together now. It could be worse, the child isn’t dying.’
    Kathleen knew the worst was over. Now they had to plan.
    Nellie jumped up to help her nana and put the teapot on the table. Alice had Joseph in her arms. His little face lit up at the sight of Nellie and Kitty, now sitting next to each other at the kitchen table, with Nellie’s arm round Kitty’s shoulders.
    Alice walked over to the range to fetch Joseph’s bottle, which she had placed to warm on a range shelf. She pulled up her sleeve and shook the milk onto her bare elbow to test it was the right temperature and then sat amongst them to feed him.
    The atmosphere was subdued. The only noise was the sound of Joseph sucking and the snuffles of his blocked nose.
    Kathleen began to talk.
    ‘Kitty, I have an idea if ye can just hear me out. I don’t think we should tell the men just yet. I don’t think we should tell anyone. What we need is some time to think about how we are going to manage this. What about if I take you and Nellie away back home to Ireland to the farm for a little holiday and try to think of a plan from there? What do ye think, girls? Would ye like that? We can go