Kate drew away and gazed up at Matt. The agony in his deep blue eyes sliced through her.
“I’m so sorry, Matt. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” She stroked her hand along his whisker-roughened cheek.
He nodded, but shifted back. His arms slipped away from her. She missed the warmth of them, the feeling of security they gave her.
“Are you okay now?” His voice sounded flat and his eyes showed no emotion.
“I … think so.” But she wasn’t. Confusing emotions swirled through her. For so long, she’d believed that Matt was responsible for the pain she’d suffered. That Matt was a ruthless, uncaring man. But now she knew the truth. And she’d been horribly wrong. A sharp pain started in the pit of her stomach and spiraled through her.
The look of betrayal she’d seen flash across his eyes before they’d blanked of all emotion tore at her heart.
She had to get used to the idea that Matt had done nothing to drive her away. Yet she had left him, suddenly and with no explanation. He had thought she’d just walked away from their relationship.
Her hands curled into balls. Oh, God, he must have hated her.
“I think we should both get some sleep.” Matt stood up and walked toward the door.
“Matt … ”
He paused, but didn’t turn around.
“I … I’m sorry.”
He simply nodded and left the room.
* * *
As exhausted as Kate was, sleep did not come soon. Random thoughts swirled through her head in an erratic whirlwind, with no beginning and no end. She flipped back and forth restlessly while the mocking blue digits of the clock ticked off the minutes.
How could she have ever believed that about Matt? But at the time, she’d trusted Ileana. And why not? She’d been the hostess of the party. She’d been Matt’s friend. The party had had a BDSM theme, with people dressed as Masters and slaves. It had seemed like a game at first, going with Victor . He’d seemed charming, yet authoritative. When she’d followed him from the dance floor, she’d thought they would do some harmless role-playing. She’d never dreamed he would lead her to a cell and chain her up. Even then, she’d remained relatively calm, still assuming it was role-playing … and assuming he would stop if she said so. But he hadn’t even offered a safe word. As soon as she’d seen the leather whip, she’d told him she wanted to end it, but he’d just laughed. Then as he began to whip her, he’d ignored her cries of protest.
It had been a nightmare, and he had kept insisting it was Matt’s idea—to teach her to be a proper submissive. With each slash of pain, he’d beat the idea into her. Matt wanted this. He’d arranged it. Ileana had reminded her of it afterward when Kate had been limp with pain and anxiety. Ileana had arranged a ride home for her, but before she’d let her go, she’d given Kate a friendly caution that maybe she should steer clear of Matt if she really didn’t like this kind of thing, insinuating that she was surprised at Kate’s negative reaction to being beaten.
Kate had decided then and there that the lifestyle Matt was into-reinforced by Victor’s obvious pleasure at hurting her, and Ileana’s apparent surprise at Kate’s fear and anger over the event-was a horrific thing. It had also made her believe that Matt had to be a ruthless and cruel man who had totally fooled her. In her weak and confused state, her blurry mind couldn’t help but believe that about him. She could find no trace of the trust she’d once had in him.
Tears pricked at her eyes at how wrong she’d been. Not only had Matt not betrayed her, she had betrayed him . One, by believing what she had about him. And, two, by walking away without a word. Without even telling him what happened.
She realized now that she’d probably been so quick to flee without confronting him because she’d been afraid of his effect on her right from the beginning. Of what she became around him. She became weak and vulnerable. She would have let
“I’m so sorry, Matt. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” She stroked her hand along his whisker-roughened cheek.
He nodded, but shifted back. His arms slipped away from her. She missed the warmth of them, the feeling of security they gave her.
“Are you okay now?” His voice sounded flat and his eyes showed no emotion.
“I … think so.” But she wasn’t. Confusing emotions swirled through her. For so long, she’d believed that Matt was responsible for the pain she’d suffered. That Matt was a ruthless, uncaring man. But now she knew the truth. And she’d been horribly wrong. A sharp pain started in the pit of her stomach and spiraled through her.
The look of betrayal she’d seen flash across his eyes before they’d blanked of all emotion tore at her heart.
She had to get used to the idea that Matt had done nothing to drive her away. Yet she had left him, suddenly and with no explanation. He had thought she’d just walked away from their relationship.
Her hands curled into balls. Oh, God, he must have hated her.
“I think we should both get some sleep.” Matt stood up and walked toward the door.
“Matt … ”
He paused, but didn’t turn around.
“I … I’m sorry.”
He simply nodded and left the room.
* * *
As exhausted as Kate was, sleep did not come soon. Random thoughts swirled through her head in an erratic whirlwind, with no beginning and no end. She flipped back and forth restlessly while the mocking blue digits of the clock ticked off the minutes.
How could she have ever believed that about Matt? But at the time, she’d trusted Ileana. And why not? She’d been the hostess of the party. She’d been Matt’s friend. The party had had a BDSM theme, with people dressed as Masters and slaves. It had seemed like a game at first, going with Victor . He’d seemed charming, yet authoritative. When she’d followed him from the dance floor, she’d thought they would do some harmless role-playing. She’d never dreamed he would lead her to a cell and chain her up. Even then, she’d remained relatively calm, still assuming it was role-playing … and assuming he would stop if she said so. But he hadn’t even offered a safe word. As soon as she’d seen the leather whip, she’d told him she wanted to end it, but he’d just laughed. Then as he began to whip her, he’d ignored her cries of protest.
It had been a nightmare, and he had kept insisting it was Matt’s idea—to teach her to be a proper submissive. With each slash of pain, he’d beat the idea into her. Matt wanted this. He’d arranged it. Ileana had reminded her of it afterward when Kate had been limp with pain and anxiety. Ileana had arranged a ride home for her, but before she’d let her go, she’d given Kate a friendly caution that maybe she should steer clear of Matt if she really didn’t like this kind of thing, insinuating that she was surprised at Kate’s negative reaction to being beaten.
Kate had decided then and there that the lifestyle Matt was into-reinforced by Victor’s obvious pleasure at hurting her, and Ileana’s apparent surprise at Kate’s fear and anger over the event-was a horrific thing. It had also made her believe that Matt had to be a ruthless and cruel man who had totally fooled her. In her weak and confused state, her blurry mind couldn’t help but believe that about him. She could find no trace of the trust she’d once had in him.
Tears pricked at her eyes at how wrong she’d been. Not only had Matt not betrayed her, she had betrayed him . One, by believing what she had about him. And, two, by walking away without a word. Without even telling him what happened.
She realized now that she’d probably been so quick to flee without confronting him because she’d been afraid of his effect on her right from the beginning. Of what she became around him. She became weak and vulnerable. She would have let
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