all the time to a song released to
commemorate those who were killed. I think it was 'Knock, Knock,
Knocking on Heaven's Door'. Quite a few kids in my school sang the
chorus. * The money from the sale of the song went to a charity to
help rebuild the school.
* With Bob Dylan's consent, the song was re-recorded with a new verse written by
Dunblane musician Ted Christopher. The new version has the brothers and sisters
of those killed singing the chorus.
A lot of people say that everything happens for a reason but I can't
believe that. I don't know if what happened that day changed the way
I thought about religion. I think it's great to believe in stuff. I have no
problem with that. But I haven't looked into any particular religion, so
I wouldn't know which one to believe in. I've tried to understand
space and how the world works, but my head starts hurting after
twenty minutes. Quite a few of my friends are religious and that's
absolutely fine with me. I just wish people didn't fight.
I don't really think it was a belief that helped Jamie and me come
through it all. It was the way family, friends, teachers, everyone pulled
together. In some ways, it probably made the town much friendlier
and more polite because of the mutual compassion. It seemed to
make the place stronger.
Since I left as pupil, I've never been back to the primary school. But
Jamie and I have been in touch with the secondary school. They
named the new assembly hall after us. It's great to be remembered
like that. I would like to go back one day and see what it's like, maybe
visit the Memorial Garden at the primary school. I'm glad it's still a
school and that children still play there. Dunblane is still the quiet,
lovely place I remember from when I was a kid. What happened was
a terrible, horrible tragedy but I think it's important that one madman
didn't destroy the place I'm proud to come from.
Chapter Three:
El Kid
Murrays don't like leaving home as a rule. My mum had joined
the women's pro tour when she left school and only lasted a
few months because of homesickness. My brother left home at
twelve to go to an LTA training school in Cambridge and spent
seven miserable months there. Somehow I broke the mould. By
the time I was fifteen, I was desperate to go. I lived in a cold,
damp climate with limited facilities and county-standard
players to practise with. What I needed was sunshine, hard
work, open-air courts and world-class opposition. Maybe
going to Barcelona wasn't too hard a choice.
Jamie's stay in Cambridge was a terrible mistake. After what
happened to him I would never advise a kid to leave home so
young. When he came back seven months later, I practised
with him. He looked upset and unhappy, the complete opposite
of his old self. He used to enjoy himself on court but all
that had changed. I remember Mum walking to the back of the
court and muttering: 'I can't believe what they've done to him,'
with tears in her eyes. She was so upset.
It wasn't just that Jamie was homesick. It was amazing how
quickly he went from being a happy kid to missing his home,
missing his parents and not enjoying his tennis. I made headlines
once, during the Aberdeen Cup in 2005, by saying the
LTA had 'ruined' Jamie. The press asked me about him and I
just said what I believed: 'He was number two junior in the
world when he was around age twelve. Then he went down to
an LTA academy in Cambridge and they ruined him for a few
years. It was their fault.' I have stuck by that opinion ever
since. I am not saying the LTA, as a whole, was to blame, but
that set-up at Cambridge did not work for him.
So there was no way I wanted to leave home at that age, but
once I'd made the decision that tennis was my chosen sport, it
all changed. If I wanted to make it, then I had to go away.
Sometimes you need a kick-start. That came when I played
in the European Under-16 team championships in Andorra.
We lost in the final against Spain and Rafa Nadal was playing.
I've known him
Jane Hunt
Jonathan Maberry
K. Sterling
Tara Fox Hall
James Kakalios
Jacquie Rogers
Rebecca Hamilton, Conner Kressley
Elizabeth Moynihan
Shiloh Walker
Mary Balogh