Hold Me Never (Holding Never) by Natalie Kristen Page A

legs,
squeezing my thighs together.
    Please, just go away.
    Can't you leave me with a shred of respect and
dignity?
    I feel the tears sting my eyes as I see his large bare
feet move to stand in front of me.
    I hear him swallow as he stretches out one hand towards
me. I recoil from him with a sharp cry.
    “ Owen! What the hell do you think you're doing?
Get out of here! Guards!” Dr. Rolin comes fumbling towards
us.
    At the doctor's shout, the steel door bursts open and
two guards march in. They are not the same two guards who escorted
me here. Snapping a metal collar and chain around Owen's neck, they
yank him out the door like an animal.
    Just before the door closes, through my blurry vision, I
see him.
    Jaxon!
    Jaxon is standing just outside the door, staring
straight at me. The two guards salute Jaxon smartly before leading
Owen away.
    Jaxon appears not to have noticed them at all. He
takes a small, stiff step forward, and I have to stop myself from
lurching from the table and running straight into his arms.
    He looks stricken, tortured, furious.
    I open my mouth just as Dr. Rolin goes scurrying to the
door.
    “ Commander Ryleth,” the doctor pants. “How
can I help you? Is there something you want?”
    Yes.
    I want her.
    The terrible pain in his eyes scream the words at me.
    Jaxon remains standing at the door, but I can hear his
words clearly. “Treat her injuries. Make sure she's not in
pain,” he tells the doctor in a strained voice.
    “ Oh, yes. Yes, of course.” Dr. Rolin
glances back at me with a confounded look. “Of course I'll
treat her. I'll examine her thoroughly and...”
    “ No!”
    The doctor staggers back at the Commander's angry shout.
Pushing his glasses nervously up his nose, Dr. Rolin stammers,
“B-but I have to certify if she is a virgin, so that...”
    My eyes and mouth round as I jerk back. Certify that
I'm a virgin? Why in the world...?
    “ What...” My voice comes out small and
hoarse. I swallow and open my mouth again.
    “ She's not,” Jaxon declares.
    I snap my eyes to Jaxon in shock. What did he say?
    Dr. Rolin whirls round to gape at Jaxon. “What,
sir? Did you just say that she's not...a virgin?”
    He nods. “She is not a virgin,” Jaxon grits
out.
    The doctor's eyes bulge behind his glasses. “How
do you...I mean...you know...I...there's going to be...ah...”
    “ I patrol her town. I have been there often
enough. I have seen...her,” Jaxon answers tersely.
    “ Ah, yes, I see. Yes.” But he doesn't see
anything at all. He is pacing to and fro and hyperventilating. “But
I have to...”
    “ If you certify that she is a virgin, doctor, and
it turns out that your certification is...false, the consequences
would be...well, you remember what happened to Dr. Kinner.”
Jaxon glances down at the doctor's leg. “And the punishment
for a second mistake would not be just a broken leg,” he says
pointedly
    Dr. Rolin blanches and manages to nod.
    “ Just treat her injuries. Don't take too long.
I'm...right here,” Jaxon says, looking directly into my eyes.
    “ Yes. Yes, sir.”
    The door starts to close. Jaxon doesn't move, just
keeps looking at me, keeps looking at me like it's the first and last
time he's seeing me. The look is filled with raw pain, loathing,
longing and anger.
    I collapse onto the steel table with a loud clatter. I
blink up at the doctor, stammering, “W-what are you going to
do? Are you...” Are you going to insert your hands or your
instruments between my legs, piercing and probing my body? I
hear an awful sound explode from me. It sounds like a sob, a sigh
and a crazed laugh all rolled into one.
    “ I am going to treat your injuries,” is all
he says, as he snaps on a fresh set of gloves.
    “ What happened to your leg?” I ask as he
turns my hands over and checks the bruises around my wrists.
    He doesn't answer for a long time, just scribbles some
notes onto a pad at his side. He continues examining me without
meeting my eyes. I am about to