Parker,” he said, offering me a plump hand. “Pleased to meet you, I don’t think you and I have been formally introduced. I’m Jim Honeycutt, head of Wide Open Universe.”
“Oh,” I replied, awestruck. “Oh gosh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise. I shouldn’t have said anything…”
“On the contrary, Miss Parker,” Mr Honeycutt said. “It’s a question that needs to be addressed even if I think that by now most of us know the answer…”
“I don’t,” I said before I could stop myself.
“Quite.” Jim Honeycutt looked very serious. “The critics hate it. Or should I say, they want to hate it. Nobody wanted Art to do anything different. They feel he has betrayed his art-house roots to make money…”
“That’s not true,” Art said crossly. “All I wanted to do was make a quality entertainment picture, to show all those other bozos out there how to do it…”
“I know, Art, I know,” Jim soothed him with a wave of his giant hands. “And a lot of people are angry about Harry Mclean. And, most significantly some people, namely one Mr Pat Rivers, is blaming this film for pushing his cash pot of a son into what he alleges is a nervous breakdown and ruining his career.”
“Well, that’s just rubbish,” I said. “Sean is incredibly happy at the moment, not nervous or broken down at all.”
“Might have to quote you on that, Ruby,” Lisa said, making a note on her clipboard.
“But you can’t,” I replied. “I promised Sean I wouldn’t talk about him to anyone. He wants to be out of the spotlight.”
“Well, we’ll see,” Jim said as if he hadn’t completely understood me. “We might need that young man and he did sign a contract with publicity obligations. Andalthough the nation loves Imogene, she’s been at the top for a long time now. It could be the critics are Just waiting for a chance to knock her down.”
“But that’s horrid,” I said in a small voice. “And it’s not true; it’s a good film and Imogene is the best thing in it.”
“That might be so, Miss Parker,” Jim said. “But this business is like a fish pond full of sharks. If you want to survive in it, you’ve got to be a shark too.”
Lisa Wells stood up and walked to the front of the small theatre. “There’s no need to panic,” she told everyone. “We all know that films can be a huge success without critical or press approval. Just look at last year’s biggest grossing movie, Giant Dinosaurs in Manhattan. No one liked it; everybody went to see it.”
“And that was a dreadful film,” Art said under his breath.
“What we need to do,” Michael said, “is get to our audience directly. Everyone needs to do as much TV and radio as possible. Jeremy, it’s late notice but I’ve got you on the Carl Vine show tonight. OK?”
Jeremy nodded. “OK. And I can take Ruby on with me.”
I looked from Mike to Jeremy and back again. “Pardon?”
“It’s a talk show, Ruby,” Imogene explained, seeing my confusion. “It’s taped ‘as live’ and is getting very highratings at the moment. Carl will interview you, make some Jokes at your expense, perhaps try to embarrass you a little. All you have to do is charm the studio audience and the people at home, and they will want to go and see our film. It’s simple.”
“Urn, what, me?” I said. “I’ve never done that kind of TV before. I won’t be any good at it. I mean, I’m thirteen. I’m permanently embarrassed. Any more and I might drop dead of fatal mortification.”
Everybody laughed and I felt my cheeks grow hot. I hadn’t been joking.
“That’s a good line,” Jim said. “Use it.” He lumbered out of his chair. “Well, I gotta go. Make this happen, people.”
“I’m going on national TV in America?” I questioned weakly. “But I’m only supposed to be on holiday!”
“It’ll be fine,” Jeremy said. “He won’t pick on you, you’re just a kid. I’ll be doing most of the talking.”
“Don’t worry, Ruby.”
“Oh,” I replied, awestruck. “Oh gosh, I’m sorry. I didn’t realise. I shouldn’t have said anything…”
“On the contrary, Miss Parker,” Mr Honeycutt said. “It’s a question that needs to be addressed even if I think that by now most of us know the answer…”
“I don’t,” I said before I could stop myself.
“Quite.” Jim Honeycutt looked very serious. “The critics hate it. Or should I say, they want to hate it. Nobody wanted Art to do anything different. They feel he has betrayed his art-house roots to make money…”
“That’s not true,” Art said crossly. “All I wanted to do was make a quality entertainment picture, to show all those other bozos out there how to do it…”
“I know, Art, I know,” Jim soothed him with a wave of his giant hands. “And a lot of people are angry about Harry Mclean. And, most significantly some people, namely one Mr Pat Rivers, is blaming this film for pushing his cash pot of a son into what he alleges is a nervous breakdown and ruining his career.”
“Well, that’s just rubbish,” I said. “Sean is incredibly happy at the moment, not nervous or broken down at all.”
“Might have to quote you on that, Ruby,” Lisa said, making a note on her clipboard.
“But you can’t,” I replied. “I promised Sean I wouldn’t talk about him to anyone. He wants to be out of the spotlight.”
“Well, we’ll see,” Jim said as if he hadn’t completely understood me. “We might need that young man and he did sign a contract with publicity obligations. Andalthough the nation loves Imogene, she’s been at the top for a long time now. It could be the critics are Just waiting for a chance to knock her down.”
“But that’s horrid,” I said in a small voice. “And it’s not true; it’s a good film and Imogene is the best thing in it.”
“That might be so, Miss Parker,” Jim said. “But this business is like a fish pond full of sharks. If you want to survive in it, you’ve got to be a shark too.”
Lisa Wells stood up and walked to the front of the small theatre. “There’s no need to panic,” she told everyone. “We all know that films can be a huge success without critical or press approval. Just look at last year’s biggest grossing movie, Giant Dinosaurs in Manhattan. No one liked it; everybody went to see it.”
“And that was a dreadful film,” Art said under his breath.
“What we need to do,” Michael said, “is get to our audience directly. Everyone needs to do as much TV and radio as possible. Jeremy, it’s late notice but I’ve got you on the Carl Vine show tonight. OK?”
Jeremy nodded. “OK. And I can take Ruby on with me.”
I looked from Mike to Jeremy and back again. “Pardon?”
“It’s a talk show, Ruby,” Imogene explained, seeing my confusion. “It’s taped ‘as live’ and is getting very highratings at the moment. Carl will interview you, make some Jokes at your expense, perhaps try to embarrass you a little. All you have to do is charm the studio audience and the people at home, and they will want to go and see our film. It’s simple.”
“Urn, what, me?” I said. “I’ve never done that kind of TV before. I won’t be any good at it. I mean, I’m thirteen. I’m permanently embarrassed. Any more and I might drop dead of fatal mortification.”
Everybody laughed and I felt my cheeks grow hot. I hadn’t been joking.
“That’s a good line,” Jim said. “Use it.” He lumbered out of his chair. “Well, I gotta go. Make this happen, people.”
“I’m going on national TV in America?” I questioned weakly. “But I’m only supposed to be on holiday!”
“It’ll be fine,” Jeremy said. “He won’t pick on you, you’re just a kid. I’ll be doing most of the talking.”
“Don’t worry, Ruby.”
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