Home Safe by Elizabeth Berg Page B

therapist.
    She wipes tears off her face, sits up straighter, and tells herself to calm down, it might not be as bad as she thinks, it can't be as bad as she thinks, what will she do, what will she do, what will she do?
    “Wow,” Tessa says.
    She and Helen are having an early dinner at Sepia, one of Tessa's favorite places, despite the fact that Helen now worries about spending so much money on one meal. Helen figured that if she was going to tell her daughter such unpleasant news, it might as well be in beautiful surroundings. She wondered whether it was ill-advised to tell her daughter at all; she didn't want to worry her. In the end, though, she decided it was better to tell her than not. So she has just revealed that Dan withdrew a very large sum of cash and she doesn't know why. She did not tell Tessa how much Dan took out, or how much is left. Nor did Tessa ask. Thus far, she seems more intrigued than worried or suspicious. She seems to be looking at this as a kind of fun mystery that will without question be solved.
    “Are you okay?” she asks her mother. “You're not worried about money or anything, are you?”
    “Oh, no.”
    Tessa's eyes widen. “Oh, my God. That's not why you applied at Anthro , is it?”
    “No, that was just so I'd get out of the house a little bit.”
    Tessa takes another bite of her dessert. “You do fine , writing!”
    “How do you know?”
    “Dad told me what you get for your books.”
    “He did?”
    “Yes. So you're okay, right?”
    Helen attempts a smile. “Well … yes.”
    “Right?” Tessa asks again, looking more carefully at her mother.
    Helen looks directly back at her. “Yes.”
    Tessa smiles. “Well, you always liked him to surprise you. You always liked that.”
    What Helen likes is that the question of infidelity—of any kind—has not crossed her daughter's mind.

six
    H ELEN LIES ON THE SOFA TAKING DEEP BREATHS IN AND LETTING them slowly out, staring at the ceiling. She has just gone through every room of the house, looking for some shred of evidence to indicate what Dan might have used the money for, and has come up with nothing. This after she called the yacht club, asking if Dan had been there, inquiring about a berth. No.
    She regrets having given away his clothes: was there a piece of paper in a pocket, a key to something that she overlooked? When she went to the accountant, Steve asked her how it was that this was not a joint account, and she looked down at her lap and said it was because she trusted Dan completely, then looked up hotly as though she were going to have to defend him. But Steve made no accusations; instead, he kept assuring her that some answer would be found, Dan was not the kind of man to … An answer would be found. In the meantime, there was a little over fifty thousand left in the account. For some, this would be an enormous amount of money.
    She swallowed, not knowing how to say that for her it did not seem so. Steve read her face and told her not to panic, she'd be fine. She made a nice salary with her books, she would continue to produce just as she always had, she'd be just fine. Yes, her retirement account was gone for the time being, but in terms of day-to-day living, she'd be fine. Politely, then, he asked when her next one was coming out. He wasn't a fan, Steve, he was the kind of person who would ask her what the title of the next one was, and she would tell him and he would raise his eyebrows and say, “Huh! I'll have to look for that!” She told him the next one would be out soon and when he asked what it was called, she said, “So far I'm coming up empty.”
    “Hmm. Interesting title.”
    “No,” she said, laughing, despite everything. “I haven't decided what the title is.”
    “Oh!” he said. “Well. You will.”
    “Uh-huh,” she said, and ever so quietly cleared her throat.
    Helen gets up and rubs at her neck, her shoulders. It's late. She should go to bed. But she goes once more into Dan's office to look more