Homework by Margot Livesey Page B

princesses in children’s books. She almost always wore a leather jacket and jeans, and I was surprised to learn from Miss Lawson that she was a schoolteacher. We had passed each other on the stairs half a dozen times before she stopped to introduce herself. We exchanged pleasantries. I told her I was on my way to the local shop, and she asked if I could get her a loaf of bread.
    When I returned, she invited me in. I made some feeble excuse about work. I was afraid that my loneliness, like the mark of Cain, was visible to all, and I did not want to be treated as an object of pity.
    â€œDon’t speak to me of work,” said Deirdre, opening the front door wide and ushering me inside. “I have a ton of compositions to correct.”
    â€œMiss Lawson told me you teach English.”
    â€œFor my sins. We’re doing Macbeth for ‘O’ level. Now do you want a cup of tea, or wine? I’m going to have wine.”
    â€œThat would be great.” I followed her to the doorway of the narrow kitchen and asked how long she had lived here.
    â€œAges. Four years. Before that I spent a couple of years in Toronto.”
    We settled down in the living room. Deirdre plied me with questions, but it was impossible to pursue any topic at length because of the frequency with which the telephone rang. Each time Deirdre would grimace and apologise, then talk warmly
to the caller. While she was occupied, I wandered around the living room, examining her books and records. I overheard her planning a quick supper, agreeing to go to a film, and volunteering to call other people back to make plans.
    She told me she had three sisters living in Edinburgh. “There’s always something going on between us. At the moment, we’re trying to organise a surprise birthday party for our mother.”
    â€œDo your parents live here too?”
    â€œNo, they have a house on the outskirts of Dumfries.”
    Before I could ask where Dumfries was, the phone rang again. After she hung up, Deirdre said, “I suppose I ought to get going on Macbeth . If I don’t finish all the essays I can’t give back any of them.”
    â€œThanks for the wine.”
    â€œI’m glad I got a chance to talk to you,” she said, as she showed me out. “We must go to a film or something soon.”
    Whenever I ran into Deirdre she repeated this remark, but if I made a specific suggestion, she was always busy. I blamed her for being insincere; it was easy, however, to recall too many occasions on which I had behaved in similar fashion. In fact perhaps not even as well, for when people from outside London had come to work at Fredericks, I had introduced myself in the hall and not given them a second thought.
    At the office I saw Suzie every day, but she was a single parent and had other commitments, and this seemed true of everyone I met. Although there were soon several people to have lunch with at work, even to have a drink with afterwards, these social incidents, isolated and precarious, did little to alleviate my loneliness. During those first months in Edinburgh I devoted myself to my various projects, and the results brought me considerable praise, but as I had once remarked to Lynne, being an editor was like being an accompanist: no matter how great my contribution to a book, I was always overshadowed. Miss Lawson told me that there had
recently been several cases of rape in the Meadows, and when I took Rollo out for her, as I sometimes did last thing at night, I would walk defiantly across the open grass, thinking alternately that I was immune from such dangers and that I did not care what became of me.

CHAPTER 4
    For a number of years I had been spending Christmas with Lynne and Greg in preference to either of my parents, and even before I left London, I had arranged to return for the holidays. This plan helped to render my loneliness bearable. As I counted the days, the season took on magical properties that