Hot in the City by Samantha Hunter

but I also do more. The kind of things I can’t tell you about.”
    Her brow rose slightly, and she nodded, seeming to understand.
    “My job has jaded me, Della. I wasn’t even sure about your clues, the package, the note. I thought it might be some kind of a trick, or a trap,” he said, shaking his head and exhaling a deep breath. “I’m not an easy man, Della. And I tend to think the worst. It comes with the job.”
    “Oh,” she said, her hand coming to her lips as her eyes widened in realization. “I’m so sorry—I didn’t even think how you might see this as suspicious—”
    He put his hand up, stemming her apologies.
    “There was no reason for you to. Normal people wouldn’t see it that way. But my life...it’s how my mind works, I guess. I don’t believe in romance, or magic, or...this,” he said, looking up at the stars. “I can’t afford to.”
    “Why not?” she said, her lips dipping into a small frown.
    “It’s a distraction.
You’re
a distraction, and that can be dangerous.”
    Gabe hadn’t intended to put everything out on the table like that, but it was incredibly good to be able to say something openly and honestly, and he hadn’t said anything that would compromise his case.
    Della looked at him, dumbstruck. “I’m a distraction?”
    “A big one. It took me a while to stop thinking about last night. But the things I have to do, Della, sometimes... I don’t think you’d want to be with me if you knew.”
    He hadn’t talked to anyone about his work in so long, on a personal level, that he didn’t realize how much he’d needed to. He and Janet had talked, but it was different, since they were partners. When they became intimate, they tried to leave work behind, though it was almost impossible. It was too much a part of who they were.
    To be able to say something he was feeling, even if in a roundabout way, was enormous. It was possible that he would put off Della by admitting so much, but maybe that would be a good thing.
    She was quiet for several beats, and then met his look with a steady one of her own.
    “I may not know about your work specifically, and I understand why you can’t tell me, but I can guess. I know the costs, as well. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, or that you don’t have a right to have a life. Maybe you need those moments of magic more than anyone.”
    “I appreciate that, but I don’t think you really can know—”
    “I do. I do have security clearance—not as high as yours, I imagine, but high enough that I’ve worked with people in your position from time to time, and I see the toll it takes. One analyst I worked with on a project in DC, he killed himself after he made a wrong call on a project. It wasn’t his fault, not really. There were other people who could have caught the mistake, too, but he couldn’t live with it. So, I do know.”
    He was aware she had clearance, and he was aware of the incident she mentioned, but her empathy was probably the most surprising thing to him of all. There wasn’t much of that in his world, not unless you were using it to get something you wanted. Everything in his world was strategic, an angle. Even magic.
    Like a magician on stage, his life was made of illusions and sleight of hand. It was just another thing to use to get what you needed, he thought darkly.
    What did he need from Della? Why was he here? He should stay as far away from her as he could, but he couldn’t quite convince himself of that.
    “I’m sorry that happened to you,” he offered. “It’s terrible. I’ve seen too many people—friends, colleagues—who lost their lives, or ended up coping in self-destructive ways.”
    He took a sip of his wine, looking away. He was going down a road he would rather avoid. What was it about Della?
    “Thanks for sharing with me. I had doubts, too, believe me. I came up with the game idea because I didn’t have the nerve to call you. If you hadn’t shown up tonight, I could have saved