more original question.
If Israelis and Palestinians can’t even agree on history, then what hope is there for peace?
(aside) No, too academic.
Mr. Darwish, what role do you see outsiders like camels playing in the future Middle East peace talks?
(a beat) No. Not right. Not right at all.
THE CAMEL takes off his glasses.
Mr. Darwish, can the Israeli people change? Can the Palestinians? Can anyone change—for good?
How do you get two people who hate each other to live in the same house?
Is love important in any of this?
Mahmoud Darwish: Love? I don’t want to talk about it. I only want to make it.
He snaps his fingers and leaves with the waitress with the beautiful derrière.
Scene 5
Suha: The House is right. If I’m going to bury her here, I have to live here.
Alex: Of course you can live here. I’ll move out of my room. I’ll sleep on the couch.
Suha: But I can’t live with him. And I can’t live with you, Moses.
Alex: Why not? I could be a Jew. I could be Muslim. Part goat. Part camel. I could be your sister. The great thing is nobody knows who I am. Not even me.
I’m loyal to no one. I have to be good to everyone. I have to save the entire Middle East or else risk complete purposelessness.
Suha: Right.
Do you hate your father?
Alex: Absolutely.
Suha: Why?
Alex: Because nothing he says is true. Do you hate your father?
Suha: Hatred is too soft a word for what I feel about the man who donated his sperm to my mother.
Suha as Groucho: Fathers are like matzo balls.
By the time you’re finished your soup they’re gone.
Alex as Groucho: What was it like to have a mother?
Suha: My mother was screwed up. She used to boil an egg for so long the shell would split and the egg white would get all stringy in the water.
Suha as Groucho: She liked to watch things break.
Alex: Oh.
Suha: When there was a curfew, and the fighting would get so loud you didn’t know who was shooting who, when and if the door would break in, and who would live and who would die, we used to lie together on her bed. She’d hold me. And sing.
Alex: And then what?
Suha: Isn’t that enough?
Alex: What did that do?
Suha: It made me feel that even though I could die at any second, in that moment everything was all right. And that’s all we have. That moment.
Alex: Well I could hold you.
Suha: Why would you do that?
Alex: Because nobody else will.
Suha: But I don’t like you.
Alex: Yeah, but you’re upset.
Suha: I’m not upset. I’m just about to bury my mother.
Alex: That means you’re upset.
Suha: Shut up. You have no idea what I’m talking about. You never had a mother and your father never abandoned you.
(a beat) Shit. What are we doing here? Why are you helping me? My father’s supposed to be here. Where the hell is he now? Why the hell was he never around?
Alex: Are you trying to say I’ve never felt like shit?
Suha: What?
Alex: Yes you are. You’re totally saying that I’ve never felt like shit.
Suha: No I’m not.
Alex: Well of course I’ve felt like shit. My whole life I’ve felt like shit. You had a mother at least. I’m sorry she blew up, but you have memories of her. You did things together. I don’t even have that. I have nothing.
Everything I do is to try and escape the shit that life is, this screwed-up “situation.” When I say I want to hold you, it’s because I’m hoping maybe you in my arms could be something different. Maybe there is a world that isn’t full of shit.
Suha: That’s an interesting thought.
Alex: Yeah well there you go. I’m an interesting human being.
Suha: But I really don’t want you to hold me.
Alex: Fine.
Suha: No offence. We just met.
Alex: I get it.
Suha: I mean, my mother was the one who did that, and we’re going to bury her. And I can’t just replace her, you know? (a beat)
Maybe you could do something else instead.
You could do your thing.
Alex: My what?
Suha: Do your thing.
Alex: Down here?
Suha: Yeah. Why not?
Alex: But you
If Israelis and Palestinians can’t even agree on history, then what hope is there for peace?
(aside) No, too academic.
Mr. Darwish, what role do you see outsiders like camels playing in the future Middle East peace talks?
(a beat) No. Not right. Not right at all.
THE CAMEL takes off his glasses.
Mr. Darwish, can the Israeli people change? Can the Palestinians? Can anyone change—for good?
How do you get two people who hate each other to live in the same house?
Is love important in any of this?
Mahmoud Darwish: Love? I don’t want to talk about it. I only want to make it.
He snaps his fingers and leaves with the waitress with the beautiful derrière.
Scene 5
Suha: The House is right. If I’m going to bury her here, I have to live here.
Alex: Of course you can live here. I’ll move out of my room. I’ll sleep on the couch.
Suha: But I can’t live with him. And I can’t live with you, Moses.
Alex: Why not? I could be a Jew. I could be Muslim. Part goat. Part camel. I could be your sister. The great thing is nobody knows who I am. Not even me.
I’m loyal to no one. I have to be good to everyone. I have to save the entire Middle East or else risk complete purposelessness.
Suha: Right.
Do you hate your father?
Alex: Absolutely.
Suha: Why?
Alex: Because nothing he says is true. Do you hate your father?
Suha: Hatred is too soft a word for what I feel about the man who donated his sperm to my mother.
Suha as Groucho: Fathers are like matzo balls.
By the time you’re finished your soup they’re gone.
Alex as Groucho: What was it like to have a mother?
Suha: My mother was screwed up. She used to boil an egg for so long the shell would split and the egg white would get all stringy in the water.
Suha as Groucho: She liked to watch things break.
Alex: Oh.
Suha: When there was a curfew, and the fighting would get so loud you didn’t know who was shooting who, when and if the door would break in, and who would live and who would die, we used to lie together on her bed. She’d hold me. And sing.
Alex: And then what?
Suha: Isn’t that enough?
Alex: What did that do?
Suha: It made me feel that even though I could die at any second, in that moment everything was all right. And that’s all we have. That moment.
Alex: Well I could hold you.
Suha: Why would you do that?
Alex: Because nobody else will.
Suha: But I don’t like you.
Alex: Yeah, but you’re upset.
Suha: I’m not upset. I’m just about to bury my mother.
Alex: That means you’re upset.
Suha: Shut up. You have no idea what I’m talking about. You never had a mother and your father never abandoned you.
(a beat) Shit. What are we doing here? Why are you helping me? My father’s supposed to be here. Where the hell is he now? Why the hell was he never around?
Alex: Are you trying to say I’ve never felt like shit?
Suha: What?
Alex: Yes you are. You’re totally saying that I’ve never felt like shit.
Suha: No I’m not.
Alex: Well of course I’ve felt like shit. My whole life I’ve felt like shit. You had a mother at least. I’m sorry she blew up, but you have memories of her. You did things together. I don’t even have that. I have nothing.
Everything I do is to try and escape the shit that life is, this screwed-up “situation.” When I say I want to hold you, it’s because I’m hoping maybe you in my arms could be something different. Maybe there is a world that isn’t full of shit.
Suha: That’s an interesting thought.
Alex: Yeah well there you go. I’m an interesting human being.
Suha: But I really don’t want you to hold me.
Alex: Fine.
Suha: No offence. We just met.
Alex: I get it.
Suha: I mean, my mother was the one who did that, and we’re going to bury her. And I can’t just replace her, you know? (a beat)
Maybe you could do something else instead.
You could do your thing.
Alex: My what?
Suha: Do your thing.
Alex: Down here?
Suha: Yeah. Why not?
Alex: But you
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