most common encounter with a one-armed man. But it’s
also the easiest to win. There are many other much more
treacherous situations than this one .
Five minutes later . . . I went to do a security check on my
grandma’s backyard while she was away on vacation hunting in the mountains.
And I encountered another one-armed man who looked
exactly like the guy I just beat up with the hedge clippers. But I thought it
couldn’t be the same guy. So it must be his twin. But
it can’t be his twin because he’s wearing different
clothes . And twins always wear the same clothes. I didn’t have time to
solve this mystery. I had to dispose of this trespasser as quickly as possible.
Here’s what I did:
Photo 1: As soon as I spot him, I get in
fighting position. I don’t want him to get the upper hand.
Photo 2: I quickly throw an old pair of my grandma ’s underpants that I found in the
hamper over his face. My grandma doesn’t have a laundry machine. She washes her 2½ pairs of underwear by hand twice every
three years .
Photo 3: I grab a clay pot, which I’ve
previously modified by lining its inside with invisible iron that weighs 50 pounds. Always have a spare modified clay pot nearby
for backyard emergencies.
Photo 4: I carefully slam the pot on his head
as hard as I can. If you’re not careful you might not cause a concussion.
Photo 5: This is not a crotch kick. It’s a kick to his
full-length arm . When kicking, use your arms in a swinging motion to help
you get more power. 90% of the power in your legs comes from
your arms .
Photos 6 and 7: I quickly pull a golf club out
of my pants. The golf club should be stored underneath the front of your pants going
down the front of your leg. I did not store it in my back pocket, because I still
have the hedge clipper hiding in there.
Photo 8: I use the golf club baseball style.
Grip harder when you hit the target to create even more power.
Photo 9: This hit to the head has the power of 200 punches . You now know 2 ways to
beat up a one-armed man. This move allows you to be the intimidator not the
intimidatee. This one-armed troublemaker is now incapacitated.
I leave my grandma’s backyard and a few minutes later . . . I
spot another one-armed guy. He must be the twin of the first one-armed guy I beat up
because he’s wearing the same clothes. Or maybe he’s a twin of the guy
I just beat up in my grandma’s backyard and the reason he’s wearing
the same clothes as the first guy is because he stole the first guy’s
clothes. And the first guy is laying helpless and naked on the sidewalk while the
neighborhood is wondering why a naked dude with one arm whose crotch is bleeding is
sunbathing on their sidewalk.
I’ll just consider him the 3rd twin. Here’s how I handled
him:
I DISABLE THE ONE-ARMED ASSAILANT WITH THE LEFT REAR TIRE OF AN
UNDERCOVER COP CAR THAT I STOLE.
IT’S OKAY TO STEAL A POLICE VEHICLE AS LONG AS YOU USE IT
FOR JUSTICE.
Self-Offense isn’t just punches and kicks. Sometimes it involves
smashing heads on the street with an automobile.
I leave the one-armed man on the street and quickly drive off and return
the undercover cop car to the police department. They
thank me for stopping crime . I then go to the local park to do some more
undercover security work.
Photo 1: A couple minutes later, I discover
another one-armed assassin practicing lethal maneuvers with some kind of a circular
weapon. He could be the fourth twin . I approach
carefully. The further away a twin is from his original, the more dangerous he is.
He’s probably not as smart, but he’s definitely more psychologically
unstable and stronger. I still don’t know if all of these guys are twins. But
I don’t have time to investigate. I must enact Self-Offense immediately.
Photo 2: This is the first one-armed man
I’m confronting who is armed. I must attack quietly and from an angle.
also the easiest to win. There are many other much more
treacherous situations than this one .
Five minutes later . . . I went to do a security check on my
grandma’s backyard while she was away on vacation hunting in the mountains.
And I encountered another one-armed man who looked
exactly like the guy I just beat up with the hedge clippers. But I thought it
couldn’t be the same guy. So it must be his twin. But
it can’t be his twin because he’s wearing different
clothes . And twins always wear the same clothes. I didn’t have time to
solve this mystery. I had to dispose of this trespasser as quickly as possible.
Here’s what I did:
Photo 1: As soon as I spot him, I get in
fighting position. I don’t want him to get the upper hand.
Photo 2: I quickly throw an old pair of my grandma ’s underpants that I found in the
hamper over his face. My grandma doesn’t have a laundry machine. She washes her 2½ pairs of underwear by hand twice every
three years .
Photo 3: I grab a clay pot, which I’ve
previously modified by lining its inside with invisible iron that weighs 50 pounds. Always have a spare modified clay pot nearby
for backyard emergencies.
Photo 4: I carefully slam the pot on his head
as hard as I can. If you’re not careful you might not cause a concussion.
Photo 5: This is not a crotch kick. It’s a kick to his
full-length arm . When kicking, use your arms in a swinging motion to help
you get more power. 90% of the power in your legs comes from
your arms .
Photos 6 and 7: I quickly pull a golf club out
of my pants. The golf club should be stored underneath the front of your pants going
down the front of your leg. I did not store it in my back pocket, because I still
have the hedge clipper hiding in there.
Photo 8: I use the golf club baseball style.
Grip harder when you hit the target to create even more power.
Photo 9: This hit to the head has the power of 200 punches . You now know 2 ways to
beat up a one-armed man. This move allows you to be the intimidator not the
intimidatee. This one-armed troublemaker is now incapacitated.
I leave my grandma’s backyard and a few minutes later . . . I
spot another one-armed guy. He must be the twin of the first one-armed guy I beat up
because he’s wearing the same clothes. Or maybe he’s a twin of the guy
I just beat up in my grandma’s backyard and the reason he’s wearing
the same clothes as the first guy is because he stole the first guy’s
clothes. And the first guy is laying helpless and naked on the sidewalk while the
neighborhood is wondering why a naked dude with one arm whose crotch is bleeding is
sunbathing on their sidewalk.
I’ll just consider him the 3rd twin. Here’s how I handled
him:
I DISABLE THE ONE-ARMED ASSAILANT WITH THE LEFT REAR TIRE OF AN
UNDERCOVER COP CAR THAT I STOLE.
IT’S OKAY TO STEAL A POLICE VEHICLE AS LONG AS YOU USE IT
FOR JUSTICE.
Self-Offense isn’t just punches and kicks. Sometimes it involves
smashing heads on the street with an automobile.
I leave the one-armed man on the street and quickly drive off and return
the undercover cop car to the police department. They
thank me for stopping crime . I then go to the local park to do some more
undercover security work.
Photo 1: A couple minutes later, I discover
another one-armed assassin practicing lethal maneuvers with some kind of a circular
weapon. He could be the fourth twin . I approach
carefully. The further away a twin is from his original, the more dangerous he is.
He’s probably not as smart, but he’s definitely more psychologically
unstable and stronger. I still don’t know if all of these guys are twins. But
I don’t have time to investigate. I must enact Self-Offense immediately.
Photo 2: This is the first one-armed man
I’m confronting who is armed. I must attack quietly and from an angle.
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