the right direction.”
His eyebrows flickered up. “When is that happening?”
“September first.”
“Wow.” His expression turned thoughtful. “Amy’s wedding, it’s a thank-you for her help in saving the farm, but it’s also a parting gift to your sisters, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” She hugged herself. Guilt gnawed at her every time she thought about breaking the news to Rachel and Amy, even though she knew full well that leaving was her only logical choice.
“I still don’t understand why you’ve kept your schooling a secret all these years. How could they be upset with you for going after your dream?”
She picked at her fingernails. “It’s not Amy I’m worried about. If anybody will understand, it’ll be her because she left town to pursue her dream of being a chef the same week she graduated high school.”
“Rachel . . .”
Helping Matt understand meant sharing with him the unflattering details about her past. Not exactly the stuff a lady should be talking about with a man she was interested in romantically, but it was too late to start pulling her punches now.
“I might owe Amy for saving our farm, but it’s Rachel to whom I owe everything else. For the longest time, it was Rachel and me against the world. Our mom was bipolar and iffy about taking her meds, and our dad was good for nothing all the way around. When Amy skipped town, I was twelve and green with jealousy. Before she left, it’d never occurred to me that someone could pick up and walk away from Catcher Creek. After she opened my eyes to the idea, not a day went by that I didn’t dream about escaping.”
She knew he understood the general flavor of her family history already, having renegotiated their oil rights contract the year before in the wake of her parents’ deaths, but the two of them had never had a serious, private conversation like this. They’d never talked specifically about her life and her dreams.
When she paused, his focus shifted briefly from the road to regard her. “Did you ever go through with it—running away?”
“No. I was too chicken. And lazy. Running away would’ve meant getting a job to support myself, and why bother with that when I had a free ride courtesy of Rachel?”
“Ouch. Hard on yourself much?”
Ouch was right. It wasn’t a pretty picture. Real life rarely was. “Just telling it like it is. I’m not going to pretend to be someone I’m not, especially to you. And glossing over my trip to rock bottom would be a disservice to Rachel. She’s nine years older than me and handled all my raising up, which was no easy task because by the time I started high school, I was already wild.”
“Miss Soon-to-Be College Graduate, wild? I don’t see it.”
She laughed, although it wasn’t at all funny. Wild didn’t begin to describe her teenage years. “It was only by the grace of God and Rachel that I didn’t end up dead or in jail. Since the day I was born, she worked her fingers to the bone on our farm to make sure I had a roof over my head and food in my belly. She’s the reason I didn’t drop out of high school. She made me do my homework, got me out of bed so I wouldn’t be late for school. And I repaid her efforts too many times by getting brought home in a patrol car, drunk or high.”
“Drugs even?”
She was determined to own the choices she’d made, even the ones she was the least proud of. “Pot mostly. But sometimes harder stuff.” And, boy, her knees had been chafed from praying that Tommy wouldn’t be born with problems because of it. She’d given it all up cold-turkey the day she’d found out she was pregnant, but there’d been a couple times in those weeks before she’d known . . .
Even now, it dropped a rock in her stomach to think about it. His first year, she’d anticipated every one of Tommy’s doctor appointments with vomit-inducing anxiety. But he’d been smart and healthy and happy since the day he’d greeted the world.
“And then, fresh
His eyebrows flickered up. “When is that happening?”
“September first.”
“Wow.” His expression turned thoughtful. “Amy’s wedding, it’s a thank-you for her help in saving the farm, but it’s also a parting gift to your sisters, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” She hugged herself. Guilt gnawed at her every time she thought about breaking the news to Rachel and Amy, even though she knew full well that leaving was her only logical choice.
“I still don’t understand why you’ve kept your schooling a secret all these years. How could they be upset with you for going after your dream?”
She picked at her fingernails. “It’s not Amy I’m worried about. If anybody will understand, it’ll be her because she left town to pursue her dream of being a chef the same week she graduated high school.”
“Rachel . . .”
Helping Matt understand meant sharing with him the unflattering details about her past. Not exactly the stuff a lady should be talking about with a man she was interested in romantically, but it was too late to start pulling her punches now.
“I might owe Amy for saving our farm, but it’s Rachel to whom I owe everything else. For the longest time, it was Rachel and me against the world. Our mom was bipolar and iffy about taking her meds, and our dad was good for nothing all the way around. When Amy skipped town, I was twelve and green with jealousy. Before she left, it’d never occurred to me that someone could pick up and walk away from Catcher Creek. After she opened my eyes to the idea, not a day went by that I didn’t dream about escaping.”
She knew he understood the general flavor of her family history already, having renegotiated their oil rights contract the year before in the wake of her parents’ deaths, but the two of them had never had a serious, private conversation like this. They’d never talked specifically about her life and her dreams.
When she paused, his focus shifted briefly from the road to regard her. “Did you ever go through with it—running away?”
“No. I was too chicken. And lazy. Running away would’ve meant getting a job to support myself, and why bother with that when I had a free ride courtesy of Rachel?”
“Ouch. Hard on yourself much?”
Ouch was right. It wasn’t a pretty picture. Real life rarely was. “Just telling it like it is. I’m not going to pretend to be someone I’m not, especially to you. And glossing over my trip to rock bottom would be a disservice to Rachel. She’s nine years older than me and handled all my raising up, which was no easy task because by the time I started high school, I was already wild.”
“Miss Soon-to-Be College Graduate, wild? I don’t see it.”
She laughed, although it wasn’t at all funny. Wild didn’t begin to describe her teenage years. “It was only by the grace of God and Rachel that I didn’t end up dead or in jail. Since the day I was born, she worked her fingers to the bone on our farm to make sure I had a roof over my head and food in my belly. She’s the reason I didn’t drop out of high school. She made me do my homework, got me out of bed so I wouldn’t be late for school. And I repaid her efforts too many times by getting brought home in a patrol car, drunk or high.”
“Drugs even?”
She was determined to own the choices she’d made, even the ones she was the least proud of. “Pot mostly. But sometimes harder stuff.” And, boy, her knees had been chafed from praying that Tommy wouldn’t be born with problems because of it. She’d given it all up cold-turkey the day she’d found out she was pregnant, but there’d been a couple times in those weeks before she’d known . . .
Even now, it dropped a rock in her stomach to think about it. His first year, she’d anticipated every one of Tommy’s doctor appointments with vomit-inducing anxiety. But he’d been smart and healthy and happy since the day he’d greeted the world.
“And then, fresh
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