I Am Forever (What Kills Me) by Wynne Channing Page A

He had not said a word since leaving the Aramatta’s training area. I wondered if he was offended by how coldly my guards and the war master had treated him, but it didn’t seem in his character to give a hoot.
    “Or a puff of blueberry cotton candy.”
    Silence.
    “Lucas, are you okay?”
    No reply.
    “I know it sometimes seems as if I enjoy the sound of my own voice, but I like yours just as much. So please say something.”
    “What do you want me to say?” he asked finally.
    “Tell me what’s on your mind. What's bugging you?”
    “This place,” he muttered. “These vampires.”
    “Well, what about them?”
    He shook his head.
    “Lucas?”
    He clucked his tongue. “I don’t really feel like talking, Zee. Do you mind if we just sit in silence?”
    It was almost a plea. He looked down for a moment, his eyes unfocused, aimed at the coffee table, which was a glass box filled with roiling red liquid. His face was motionless, frozen, and sad. I immediately felt guilty.
    I’m so self-centered. It must be overwhelming for him to be back here. The memories. The bad memories.
    I reached over and put my hand on his forearm.
    “I’m sorry,” I said. “Of course. I won’t—”
    Suddenly I heard a voice yelling over my own. It filled my brain, booming, terrifying. It was Noel’s voice. He was screaming. He was telling me to run.
    “GO!”
     

 

     
     
    With a cry I threw myself from the couch. Lucas gasped as the couch tipped back and he went with it. My shins hit the coffee table and I tripped.
    “Zee!” Lucas cried, reaching for me over the fallen couch. He caught a handful of my skirt, tearing the fabric. I saw my frightened face in the glass a second before I crashed through the table with my elbows. The glass broke, like a cracker crumbling into soup. Red liquid and shards flew up and everywhere. The table buckled under me, but instead of collapsing on the pieces, Lucas grabbed me under my armpits and lifted me up.
    Blood.
    “Are you all right?”
    I staggered back, crunching glass, blinking blood from my eyes. Am I bleeding? I blew blood from my nostrils and swiped at my nose with the back of my hand. The metallic, rotten stink stung my senses.
    “Am I—am I bleeding?” I asked, though I registered no pain.
    Lucas ran his hands up my arms and then scraped the wet hair from my eyes with his pinky. “No, it’s the blood from inside the coffee table.”
    “Did you hear that?” I hissed.
    “Hear what?” Lucas looked around wildly, his hands forming fists and his body braced.
    There...there was screaming. Oh my God. I heard screaming.
    “What is it, Zee?”
    Suddenly I noticed a beautiful, tall woman standing in the doorway. Her small head perched on an impossibly long and slender neck. Her black hair was cut close to her scalp, revealing elfin ears, and her full lips were pursed into an O.
    “My lady?” she said, alarmed.
    I scratched at my chest and trembled. There was blood everywhere. Dotting the wall, dripping off the couch, seeping into the carpet. It looked like I had slaughtered someone in her waiting room.
    “Zee, what happened?” Lucas asked.
    Confused, the memory of Noel’s voice echoed in my ears. I heard him. I saw his face. His expression contorted, panicked, telling me to run. Just like before he died.
    I sucked in air and expelled it in a puff. When I was human, I would breathe deep and exhale as if I was releasing my demons and my fears. Now, inhaling only served to fill my lungs with the stale, almost sour air in the room.
    “My lady, are you all right?” the vampire asked.
    I realized that my hands were raised and my fingers were nervously moving as if I was typing on an imaginary keyboard.
    “Zee,” Lucas said.
    Noel.
    Afraid to upset Lucas, I shook the image of his father from my mind. The vampire took my motion as a “no” and snapped her fingers. Soldiers and maids immediately appeared.
    “No, I mean, yes. I’m fine,” I said. “I—I was startled by