I Am Forever (What Kills Me) by Wynne Channing Page B

something.”
    With everyone watching me, I wanted to cry. I felt vulnerable. Exposed. They must think I’m out of my mind. Attacking people in my sleep. Destroying furniture. Maybe I am losing my mind. Maybe I’m unfit to be the Divine.
    Instead I said, “I’m so sorry about this mess. Apparently that’s all I do now. I go around breaking things. I’m a human wrecking ball. I mean, vampire...”
    “As long as you’re not injured, my lady. These things can be replaced,” she said. “I am the doctor Femi.”
    She was a gorgeous figure, a black queen against a white chessboard square. Her fitted black dress had leather sleeves. A clipboard was tucked under a thin, angular arm that bent and jutted like a grasshopper’s leg.
    “I’m Zee,” I said. “This is Lucas.”
    She smiled at both of us. “Would you like to go and bathe, my lady?”
    I thought of the maids scrubbing me down and waved my hand. “No, that’s not necessary.”
    Blood was trapped in the tulle netting of my skirt, like soap solution in bubble wands. I gave my dress a shake. “A change of clothes and a towel will do, if that’s all right.”
    “As you wish,” she said.
    The maids brought me a white dress and I changed in an adjoining room. The sleeves were too long and hung over my fingertips. I nervously joked to one of the maids, “You’re not going to tie these behind my back like a straitjacket, are you?”
    I waved the frilly sleeves at her; they swished like jellyfish tentacles. She frowned at her companions as she wiped my face with a moist towel.
    When I returned, Lucas was sitting on a transparent plastic chair as if nothing had happened. The couch, the coffee table, the glass, the blood. It was gone.
    My mouth made a wet, smacking sound as it shot open. “What the...? How did...?”
    I’m hallucinating. Where did it all go?
    Lucas didn’t respond. His face was hardened by concern. I released the tension around my eyes and forced a lighter tone. “Did you just turn back time? Snap your fingers and make it all go away?”
    “The Monarchy cleans very efficiently,” Dr. Femi said. “My lady, would you like to join me in my office?”
    I looked to Lucas, who remained seated, and then back at the doctor. “Sure.”
    “My maids will make sure that your companion is comfortable.”
    She moved aside so I could step past her. I put one foot in her office and hesitated. It was almost empty. Four white armchairs were arranged in a circle in the center of the space. Light streamed in through a wall made of glass blocks. It was like being in an igloo—and it seemed equally cold.
    “Go ahead, my lady,” she said, softly. “You may sit anywhere you like.”
    I walked to the chair closest to the door.
    “Is this your first time to therapy?”
    I nodded.
    Dr. Femi strode around the chairs, and for a moment it reminded me of playing duck duck goose with Tiffany. The memory prickled my nose. Dr. Femi cast me a sympathetic look with her deep-set brown eyes and sat in front of me.
    “It must be difficult to come and talk to a complete stranger about things that are very personal.”
    “I talk a lot to strangers, actually. It’s gotten me into trouble before,” I said with a forced chuckle.
    I talked to Paolo. That’s how I ended up here.
    “So what has brought you here today?” She rested the clipboard in her lap and clicked open her pen.
    “Well, where do I begin?” I said.
    She didn’t respond.
    “I had a really bad nightmare,” I told her, twirling the end of my sleeve around my index finger.
    “Tell me about it.”
    “I don’t know. I’ve never had a dream like that before. Someone or—something was attacking me, pulling me out of the bed. It was pitch black and just...super scary.”
    Dr. Femi emitted a low hum and nodded. “That must have been quite the nightmare. How did you feel now?”
    “I don’t know. Confused? And horrible because I had hurt people. I stabbed Lucas in the gut with a shard of glass, thinking