I Carry Your Heart (Heart Series Book 1) by C.M. King Page B

hardly a compliment!” I remarked, slightly irritated by his choice of name.
    “Well the bookworm changed into a beautiful butterfly.” His lips pulled up at the corners, at the look now crossing my face.
    “I think you’re getting your insects mixed up Joel.” I chuckled but then noticed the mischievous glint in his eyes.
    “You do realise you’ve been attracting a lot of attention sitting here. I think most of the guys at this party would have hit on you by now, if it hadn’t been for me.”
    I snorted at his observation. “Joel, I think you may have had too much to drink, that or you need your eyesight checked.”
    “Iz, you don’t realise how beautiful you are and I like that quality about you. Most of the girls I know play on their looks to get guys.”
    The sincerity was there in his eyes for me to believe his words, but all I could think about was all the girls he’d been with. “Yeah, well you would know cause you’ve been with enough to testify to that.”
    His face dropped and a look of hurt flashed in his eyes.
    Shit.
    Why had I suddenly developed foot in mouth disease? I regretted the words the moment they left my lips. I wanted to rip my own tongue out right now.
    He pulled in a deep breath and let out a huge sigh, as if to compose himself before he spoke. “I know I’ve been around Iz and I’m not proud of myself, but there is so much more to me than that. I know you see it, please tell me you don’t think that is all I am. I couldn’t bear to think you thought that badly of me.” He frowned and his eyes dropped down to the ground, as if he was almost afraid of what my answer would be.
    I grabbed both of his hands and he flinched with the contact, but then equally held on tight. “Joel, I want to believe there’s so much more, but why do you do it? Why be with all these women? You need to find someone to love and settle down with. You’re worth so much more than the women you screw. They don’t care about you, they act like you’re some trophy prize. Please do it for me, if not for yourself.” My voice cracked at the sound of my own words. I had waited so long to say them, to tell him he deserved so much more.
    I looked up into his strained face, as a single tear slowly rolled down my cheek, to which he gently brushed it away with his thumb.
    “Don’t cry over me Iz, I’m not worth it.” His sad smile reflected the pain he kept buried deep inside.
    I squeezed his hands tighter. “Yes you are Joel, I will always be there for you. Please remember that, if you ever need to talk just ask.” I silently willed him to believe my words. I wanted to be there for him more than anything.
    “Iz, I need to tell you something.” Fear flashed across his face. I smiled reassuringly, pleading with him to go ahead.
    My eyes gazed deep into his, hoping to hear the words I’d dreamt every night.
    I held my breath waiting.
    His mouth slowly opened and my eyes grew wider in anticipation.
    “Joel.”
    Fuck.
    At the sound of Mike’s voice we both sprang apart. “There you are, we’re heading into town now, are you coming?”
    A look of hesitation crossed his face, as he glanced at me.
    Please choose me.
    I saw the anxiety there in his face, with the internal struggle of deciding just who to disappoint.
    I silently willed him and begged him with every breath to stay.
    “Yeah, it’s getting quiet, let’s go where there’s more action.”
    Mike grinned with obvious delight. “We should be in for a good night.” He smirked, winking at Joel.
    Repulsion spread through me and I scowled at Mike’s words. I dropped my gaze, to avoid him spotting the obvious look of disappointment in my eyes.
    “See you later Iz,” he whispered.
    I let out a large sigh, looking up, as I watched him walk off with Mike. The smug smiles of the bitches winning their trophy back now burnt into my brain. I glanced at my watch, it was just after midnight. I had officially turned back into