had a lot of explaining to do. I felt I owed him an apology for my distance. As I dialled his number, I felt sick with apprehension.
A woman picked up. She sounded young, but then of course Ben was only twenty-five. I realised I didn’t even know where Ben lived now, let alone if he had a girlfriend. I’d assumed he’d stayed in Manchester; if Adam or Danny knew where he was, neither had said a word to me. But of course, they wouldn’t. They had to tread so carefully around my grief.
I asked for Ben. There was a brief hiatus. And then:
‘Hello?’ A young, hesitant, masculine voice. ‘Who is this?’
‘Ben, it’s me. Molly Gabriel. Joey’s mum.’
There was a pause. Then an attempt at a hearty welcome.
‘Molly. Mrs Gabriel. How amazing to hear from you, after all this time.’
‘Yes. I’m sorry, Ben. I should have contacted you a long time ago. It’s just… well it’s been difficult.’
A pause, and then, ‘How… how are you?’
‘I’m fine; it’s just… I know it’s been ages, but do you think we could meet? The strange thing is I’m in Cornwall – the first time I’ve been back since…’
‘Ahhh. I see. Where are you?’
‘At Coombe in Treworgey. I suppose you remember it?’
‘God, yes. So well. We had such brilliant times there.’
‘We did.’ I took a deep breath. I wanted to sound warm, not pleading. ‘Ben, I need to see you.’
‘Yes. OK. Could I ask why now, after all these years?’
‘Being back here has flagged up so many memories.’ I rubbed my eyes, impatient with the tears threatening to escape. ‘There’s still so much I don’t understand about what happened to Joey. I so want to talk to you, to find out what really happened.’
‘But, Mrs Gabriel…’
‘Please call me Molly.’
‘Molly, I told you everything about that day. I really did. I haven’t got much to add.’
I remembered what Adam had said about Ben on Polkerris Beach: There are things he doesn’t want to tell us . I had to convince the boy I wasn’t threatening him.
‘I accept that, Ben. I’m not suggesting you’ve held anything back. This is just for me. Look, I’ll tell you that coming back to Cornwall wasn’t my idea. But we did it for Danny.’
‘Danny? How is he?’
My voice softened. ‘He’s well. Married now, and with a gorgeous baby girl. We’re all here together. I suppose we’re trying to reclaim Cornwall, to try and remember it before… Well, to get the joy back, the love we felt for the place before…’
‘I understand that, and it’s very brave. But very hard, I would think?’
‘Enormously hard. And that’s why I want to see you again, to talk and lay demons to rest.’
Another long pause.
‘I’m not sure I can do that, Molly.’
‘Yes you can, Ben. In fact, only you can.’
He sighed.
‘All right. I’ll come to Coombe. Is tomorrow afternoon OK?’
‘What? How can you get down so fast from Manchester? I mean,’ I said, confused and aware I was waffling, ‘what about work? Won’t you have to get time off to come down here?’
‘Mrs Gabriel. Molly. I live in Cornwall now. In fact, I live in Polperro.’
That was a total shock. Astonishing, actually. My mind caved into all sorts of strange perceptions. Ben lived in Polperro? The village where my son had disappeared? Why on earth would a young man who had shared a terrible experience, had lost his best friend, want to live in the place where tragedy had happened?
I asked him, hesitantly, why he had moved down here. He took a while before answering.
‘It’s complicated, Molly. There’s a lot to talk about. But it’s not really to do with what happened to Joey.’
No? I didn’t believe him. This was a coincidence too far. I was silent, and eventually he responded.
‘Look, I fell in love with someone down here. Someone Cornish, and we’re together. So, after I finished Uni in Manchester, I came back down. I’ve been here for nearly four years now.’
Why did this seem like a
A woman picked up. She sounded young, but then of course Ben was only twenty-five. I realised I didn’t even know where Ben lived now, let alone if he had a girlfriend. I’d assumed he’d stayed in Manchester; if Adam or Danny knew where he was, neither had said a word to me. But of course, they wouldn’t. They had to tread so carefully around my grief.
I asked for Ben. There was a brief hiatus. And then:
‘Hello?’ A young, hesitant, masculine voice. ‘Who is this?’
‘Ben, it’s me. Molly Gabriel. Joey’s mum.’
There was a pause. Then an attempt at a hearty welcome.
‘Molly. Mrs Gabriel. How amazing to hear from you, after all this time.’
‘Yes. I’m sorry, Ben. I should have contacted you a long time ago. It’s just… well it’s been difficult.’
A pause, and then, ‘How… how are you?’
‘I’m fine; it’s just… I know it’s been ages, but do you think we could meet? The strange thing is I’m in Cornwall – the first time I’ve been back since…’
‘Ahhh. I see. Where are you?’
‘At Coombe in Treworgey. I suppose you remember it?’
‘God, yes. So well. We had such brilliant times there.’
‘We did.’ I took a deep breath. I wanted to sound warm, not pleading. ‘Ben, I need to see you.’
‘Yes. OK. Could I ask why now, after all these years?’
‘Being back here has flagged up so many memories.’ I rubbed my eyes, impatient with the tears threatening to escape. ‘There’s still so much I don’t understand about what happened to Joey. I so want to talk to you, to find out what really happened.’
‘But, Mrs Gabriel…’
‘Please call me Molly.’
‘Molly, I told you everything about that day. I really did. I haven’t got much to add.’
I remembered what Adam had said about Ben on Polkerris Beach: There are things he doesn’t want to tell us . I had to convince the boy I wasn’t threatening him.
‘I accept that, Ben. I’m not suggesting you’ve held anything back. This is just for me. Look, I’ll tell you that coming back to Cornwall wasn’t my idea. But we did it for Danny.’
‘Danny? How is he?’
My voice softened. ‘He’s well. Married now, and with a gorgeous baby girl. We’re all here together. I suppose we’re trying to reclaim Cornwall, to try and remember it before… Well, to get the joy back, the love we felt for the place before…’
‘I understand that, and it’s very brave. But very hard, I would think?’
‘Enormously hard. And that’s why I want to see you again, to talk and lay demons to rest.’
Another long pause.
‘I’m not sure I can do that, Molly.’
‘Yes you can, Ben. In fact, only you can.’
He sighed.
‘All right. I’ll come to Coombe. Is tomorrow afternoon OK?’
‘What? How can you get down so fast from Manchester? I mean,’ I said, confused and aware I was waffling, ‘what about work? Won’t you have to get time off to come down here?’
‘Mrs Gabriel. Molly. I live in Cornwall now. In fact, I live in Polperro.’
That was a total shock. Astonishing, actually. My mind caved into all sorts of strange perceptions. Ben lived in Polperro? The village where my son had disappeared? Why on earth would a young man who had shared a terrible experience, had lost his best friend, want to live in the place where tragedy had happened?
I asked him, hesitantly, why he had moved down here. He took a while before answering.
‘It’s complicated, Molly. There’s a lot to talk about. But it’s not really to do with what happened to Joey.’
No? I didn’t believe him. This was a coincidence too far. I was silent, and eventually he responded.
‘Look, I fell in love with someone down here. Someone Cornish, and we’re together. So, after I finished Uni in Manchester, I came back down. I’ve been here for nearly four years now.’
Why did this seem like a
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