I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris

He created a way for us to experience His design for love once again. He sent Jesus Christ to set things straight. In fashion terms, we could call the Author and Finisher of our faith the Designer and Model of a revolutionary expression of love. Christ gave His life for a world that rejected Him, and he told us to love our enemies. He washed the feet of the men who called him Master and told us to serve each other in humility.
    He gave us the pattern-- "As I have loved you, so you must love one another" (john 13:34)--and told us to share it with the world.
    super models
    You may never model high fashion in New York or Paris, but as a Christian you model God's love to the world. Understanding this role profoundly affects our approach to relationships, especially
    joshua harris our dating relationships. When dating we represent God's love, not only to the other person in the relationship, but also to the people watching us.
    As Christians, we need to remember that Gods perfect love is not only for our benefit. A
    37 model wears clothing to attract attention to the designer's creativity. The model displays the designer's work, but the designer's reputation is on the line, not the model's. In the same way, as Christians we model God's love, whether or not we realize it. People watch us, and what they see affects God's reputation for loving His creation. If we claim to follow Christ then wear the world's twisted style of love, we drag the name and character of our Lord in the dirt.
    For this reason, we must ask ourselves, "Am I modeling the love of Christ? Do my motivations and actions in this relationship reflect the perfect love God has shown me?" How would you answer those questions right now?
    I love me
    I believe that we can model God's perfect love when we avoid the negative habits of dating. And doing this requires recognizing and rejecting the world's pattern of love. First we must understand that all of the world's deceptions flow from the belief that love is primarily for the fulfillment and comfort of self. The world poisons love by focusing on meeting one's own needs first and foremost.
    We witness this poison in the boyfriend or girlfriend who pressures a partner into sex. You've heard the line "If you really loved me you'd do it." In other words, "I don't care about you, your convictions, or how this could damage you emotionally-- meet my needs!" Or what about the person who dates someone because it will boost his or her own popularity but then dumps
    looking up "love" in god's dictionary 63 that person when someone in a higher social stratum comes along? While the first example is more extreme, both examples illustrate self-centered "love" in action.
    Next we're told that love is primarily a feeling. At first glance this seems innocent enough--we often feel love, and this isn't necessarily wrong. But when we make feelings the litmus test of love, we place ourselves at the center of importance. By themselves, our feelings don't do others one bit of good. If a man "feels" love for the poor but never gives money to help them or never shows kindness to them, what are his feelings worth? They may benefit him, but if his actions don't communicate this love, his feelings mean nothing.
    By inflating the importance of feelings, we
    38 neglect the importance of putting love into action. When we evaluate the quality of our love for someone else simply by our own emotional fulfillment, we practice selfishness.
    i've fallen and I can't get up
    The second common fallacy about love deals with personal responsibility. The world tells us that love is beyond our control
    This thinking has found its way into our language. We describe the beginning of a passionate relationship as "falling in love." Or people say, "We're madly in love with each other." You've more than likely heard people say these things--perhaps you've even said them yourself.
    Why do we feel compelled to compare love to a pit or a mental disorder? What do these