charming he was. She remembered their first date and their first kiss. She remembered the first time he hit her. She remembered each time he left bruises and cuts on her body. She remembered the first time he told her that she was lucky to have him because no man would ever think she was attractive or special. She remembered how she believed every word he ever said to her. She r emembered how ashamed she felt because she knew for sure that she deserved every smack and hit Jack gave her. She remembered feeling that all of Jack’s rages were her fault. She shook her head to clear it and began writing.
Dear Jack:
When we met, I was still in love with Stefan. He was the first and only
man that I have ever loved. I know that being with you was not fair to
you. You never really stood a chance. In the beginning we did have
some fun. But then your drinking got worse and the abuse started. At
times I was terrified of you. I couldn’t understand why you took your
frustrations of unemployment out on me. I used to dread coming home
and seeing that you already drank more than a six-pack. I knew that
was not a good sign. When you hit me, I hated you. When you yelled
at me, I loathed you. When you forced me to have sex with you when
I said no, I feared you and wanted you to leave and never return.
But I didn’t want you to die. I can’t apologize enough for naming your
child after my one true love. I did it so that I could feel as if I had a part
of him with me forever. But that doesn’t make it right.
Now you’re gone and I am here to raise Stefanie alone. I’ll make sure
that she knows all of the good things about her father and how much
you loved her. But I need to move on. I have to let you go and let Stefan
go. I have to make a life for myself and for Stefanie. I hope that you
can forgive me. But I also hope that I can forgive myself.
Good-bye,
Melissa.
Melissa put her pen on the desk and looked down at the letter. She picked it up, folded the letter and put it in the bottom drawer of her desk. She sat for a moment, stared into space then stood up. She couldn’t help but feel a small amount of relief wash over her. Maybe Dr. Foster was right , she thought.
Maybe Jack’s death wasn’t my fault. And maybe now I can leave Jack and Stefan in the past and move on with my life.
Chapter 12
The next week, Melissa was once again sitting in Dr. Foster’s office.
“Did you complete your assignment from last week?” the doctor asked Melissa.
“Yes, I did,” she replied as she sat in the now familiar seat in front of Dr. Foster’s desk.
“How did you feel after you finished the letter to Jack?”
“I felt some sense of relief. But I also felt sad.”
“Why did you feel sad?”
“It made me realize that Jack never stood a chance with me. I mean, I was still so in love with Stefan that I could never have any love for Jack or any other man.”
Dr. Foster nodded. “I’m glad that you recognized that fact. Do you still feel guilty about Jack’s death?”
“Not really. I’ve thought about our session from last week, and I realize that you were right. Jack would drink and drive all the time. It was simply a matter of time before he would have been killed or he would have killed someone else.”
“Good. I’m glad that you came to that conclusion. I wish that everyone would be more aware of the hazards of drinking and driving.”
Melissa nodded. “Yes. I didn’t recognize those dangers until I wrote the letter to Jack. It’s a miracle that he never hurt or killed anyone.”
“Yes, it is. Now let’s get back to Stefan. How do you feel about him?”
“I was completely and utterly in love with him. And I still am.” Melissa paused as Stefan’s face flashed in her mind. “Even after all these years, after being married to another man and having his child, I am still in love with Stefan. And I probably always will be.”
“Do you think about
Dear Jack:
When we met, I was still in love with Stefan. He was the first and only
man that I have ever loved. I know that being with you was not fair to
you. You never really stood a chance. In the beginning we did have
some fun. But then your drinking got worse and the abuse started. At
times I was terrified of you. I couldn’t understand why you took your
frustrations of unemployment out on me. I used to dread coming home
and seeing that you already drank more than a six-pack. I knew that
was not a good sign. When you hit me, I hated you. When you yelled
at me, I loathed you. When you forced me to have sex with you when
I said no, I feared you and wanted you to leave and never return.
But I didn’t want you to die. I can’t apologize enough for naming your
child after my one true love. I did it so that I could feel as if I had a part
of him with me forever. But that doesn’t make it right.
Now you’re gone and I am here to raise Stefanie alone. I’ll make sure
that she knows all of the good things about her father and how much
you loved her. But I need to move on. I have to let you go and let Stefan
go. I have to make a life for myself and for Stefanie. I hope that you
can forgive me. But I also hope that I can forgive myself.
Good-bye,
Melissa.
Melissa put her pen on the desk and looked down at the letter. She picked it up, folded the letter and put it in the bottom drawer of her desk. She sat for a moment, stared into space then stood up. She couldn’t help but feel a small amount of relief wash over her. Maybe Dr. Foster was right , she thought.
Maybe Jack’s death wasn’t my fault. And maybe now I can leave Jack and Stefan in the past and move on with my life.
Chapter 12
The next week, Melissa was once again sitting in Dr. Foster’s office.
“Did you complete your assignment from last week?” the doctor asked Melissa.
“Yes, I did,” she replied as she sat in the now familiar seat in front of Dr. Foster’s desk.
“How did you feel after you finished the letter to Jack?”
“I felt some sense of relief. But I also felt sad.”
“Why did you feel sad?”
“It made me realize that Jack never stood a chance with me. I mean, I was still so in love with Stefan that I could never have any love for Jack or any other man.”
Dr. Foster nodded. “I’m glad that you recognized that fact. Do you still feel guilty about Jack’s death?”
“Not really. I’ve thought about our session from last week, and I realize that you were right. Jack would drink and drive all the time. It was simply a matter of time before he would have been killed or he would have killed someone else.”
“Good. I’m glad that you came to that conclusion. I wish that everyone would be more aware of the hazards of drinking and driving.”
Melissa nodded. “Yes. I didn’t recognize those dangers until I wrote the letter to Jack. It’s a miracle that he never hurt or killed anyone.”
“Yes, it is. Now let’s get back to Stefan. How do you feel about him?”
“I was completely and utterly in love with him. And I still am.” Melissa paused as Stefan’s face flashed in her mind. “Even after all these years, after being married to another man and having his child, I am still in love with Stefan. And I probably always will be.”
“Do you think about
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