antenna be resistant to your signal. I am going to be better. I will be content with the
"given" in sensation's quest. Before your very eyes, in one stunning montage, in one brilliant,
symbolic lap dissolve, you'll see me faithful to the screen, see me metamorphosed from an
untamed body dancing on trees to a pair of eyes staring beautifully in the dark.
(A CHILD'S PRAYER
OF CONTRITION, BAPTIST HYMNAL, 2074.)
"Remember the
Alamo! Send free laxatives to Mexico!"
(IRON EYES CODY IN
A SPEECH TO DAVY CROCKETT-edited out of late-late-show telecast.)
I know they pushed
my button. I used to be the best Iron Eyes Cody that was ever Iron Eyes Cody. Yes, I really think
I was. I was always built for action. I fell off horses so well. I got shot very beautifully. I
was always very graceful. I was always built for action but I never got the girl. No, I never got
the girl. I used to wonder why I never got the girl. Then they rewrote the script and I got the
girl by getting myself. I always fell off horses so beautifully.
(NOTE FOUND IN MURINE BOTTLE, HOLLYWOOD,
CALIFORNIA, 2074.)
I watched while you
slept. Wouldn't you be more comfortable sleeping on the other side? We want you happy, we want
you rested. We hope you'll stay tuned, we want you 100 percent refreshed. I'm your mattress
monitor and, as you have guessed, it's time to turn over. Yes, turn over. We want you to pass the
freshness test. We'll treat you like a guest. Roll over; you are done on that side. For your
resting convenience, we are very soft and very wide.
Roll over now;
we'll show you how. Do it now; don't delay. We want you at your best. You are our favorite guest.
We are the ones to count on to prepare you for a perfect day. Turn over; don't delay. We talk to
your kidneys; we are in constant touch. We hope you'll obey. We don't ask much. Failure to
comply, we make the kidneys let go. Repeat. Failure to comply, we make the kidneys let go. Isn't
it better when the bed stays dry?
(NEURAL
TRANSMISSION BROADCAST SPONSORED BY THE EXERCISE WHILE YOU SLEEP CITIZENS ACTION COALITION, A
LEISURE SERVICE OF THE NETWORK PRESIDENT'S ADVISORY COMMISSION ON NOCTURNAL
EMISSIONS.)
We don't like the
way the toilet flushes. It seems undiplomatic. We wonder. Could its sound be put in harmony? Can
you change the rhythm, mute the gurgle, accentuate the flush? We only tell you this because you
are near and dear to us. We want your home sounding just right. We want you happy, day and night.
We don't want to mention it. We really hate to mention it. We hate to mention it but we count. We
measure. We are here to insure your utmost in living pleasure. We recommend prunes. We want to
see more of you here. You know the danger of becoming a stranger. Wipe away your gloom; let us
help you here in the bathroom. We tell you one thing our findings show—you could come here more times than you wanted to go. Trust us
and change that flush.
(TOILET DISPENSER
BROADCAST, WORDS AND LYRICS BY AMERICA'S FOREMOST VIDEOPOET-JAMES DEAN. Remember we touch you
deeply.)
As you approach
sign-off, take comfort in the path of transmission. Remember as you travel through life, the
world has got you by the golden apples. Take comfort for your future is now, now and forever more
now. It is audiovisual. Stay tuned. For happiness the number to call is—. Ask for George or
Candy. Or both. We are glad you have chosen our lens as the one to look at. We are glad to see
you. Be assured we see you. No one ever dies. Repeat. Take comfort that no one ever dies.
Although the original telecast has ceased, we promise you shall live on in reruns and
syndication. Take comfort in your longevity. Take comfort, we say. Channel Ten has picked up
your option. Your life will be continued as a children's program. The "Uncle Burping Buffalo
Show." We have signed F. Scott Fitzgerald to play the buffalo. Rejoice in transmission
everlasting.
(OFFICIAL FUNERAL
"given" in sensation's quest. Before your very eyes, in one stunning montage, in one brilliant,
symbolic lap dissolve, you'll see me faithful to the screen, see me metamorphosed from an
untamed body dancing on trees to a pair of eyes staring beautifully in the dark.
(A CHILD'S PRAYER
OF CONTRITION, BAPTIST HYMNAL, 2074.)
"Remember the
Alamo! Send free laxatives to Mexico!"
(IRON EYES CODY IN
A SPEECH TO DAVY CROCKETT-edited out of late-late-show telecast.)
I know they pushed
my button. I used to be the best Iron Eyes Cody that was ever Iron Eyes Cody. Yes, I really think
I was. I was always built for action. I fell off horses so well. I got shot very beautifully. I
was always very graceful. I was always built for action but I never got the girl. No, I never got
the girl. I used to wonder why I never got the girl. Then they rewrote the script and I got the
girl by getting myself. I always fell off horses so beautifully.
(NOTE FOUND IN MURINE BOTTLE, HOLLYWOOD,
CALIFORNIA, 2074.)
I watched while you
slept. Wouldn't you be more comfortable sleeping on the other side? We want you happy, we want
you rested. We hope you'll stay tuned, we want you 100 percent refreshed. I'm your mattress
monitor and, as you have guessed, it's time to turn over. Yes, turn over. We want you to pass the
freshness test. We'll treat you like a guest. Roll over; you are done on that side. For your
resting convenience, we are very soft and very wide.
Roll over now;
we'll show you how. Do it now; don't delay. We want you at your best. You are our favorite guest.
We are the ones to count on to prepare you for a perfect day. Turn over; don't delay. We talk to
your kidneys; we are in constant touch. We hope you'll obey. We don't ask much. Failure to
comply, we make the kidneys let go. Repeat. Failure to comply, we make the kidneys let go. Isn't
it better when the bed stays dry?
(NEURAL
TRANSMISSION BROADCAST SPONSORED BY THE EXERCISE WHILE YOU SLEEP CITIZENS ACTION COALITION, A
LEISURE SERVICE OF THE NETWORK PRESIDENT'S ADVISORY COMMISSION ON NOCTURNAL
EMISSIONS.)
We don't like the
way the toilet flushes. It seems undiplomatic. We wonder. Could its sound be put in harmony? Can
you change the rhythm, mute the gurgle, accentuate the flush? We only tell you this because you
are near and dear to us. We want your home sounding just right. We want you happy, day and night.
We don't want to mention it. We really hate to mention it. We hate to mention it but we count. We
measure. We are here to insure your utmost in living pleasure. We recommend prunes. We want to
see more of you here. You know the danger of becoming a stranger. Wipe away your gloom; let us
help you here in the bathroom. We tell you one thing our findings show—you could come here more times than you wanted to go. Trust us
and change that flush.
(TOILET DISPENSER
BROADCAST, WORDS AND LYRICS BY AMERICA'S FOREMOST VIDEOPOET-JAMES DEAN. Remember we touch you
deeply.)
As you approach
sign-off, take comfort in the path of transmission. Remember as you travel through life, the
world has got you by the golden apples. Take comfort for your future is now, now and forever more
now. It is audiovisual. Stay tuned. For happiness the number to call is—. Ask for George or
Candy. Or both. We are glad you have chosen our lens as the one to look at. We are glad to see
you. Be assured we see you. No one ever dies. Repeat. Take comfort that no one ever dies.
Although the original telecast has ceased, we promise you shall live on in reruns and
syndication. Take comfort in your longevity. Take comfort, we say. Channel Ten has picked up
your option. Your life will be continued as a children's program. The "Uncle Burping Buffalo
Show." We have signed F. Scott Fitzgerald to play the buffalo. Rejoice in transmission
everlasting.
(OFFICIAL FUNERAL
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