naked girl with very big gazongas is pissing straight into his mouth. Or am I mistaken? Maybe I’ve got it upside-down.’
‘It’s the correct way up, said Joe, tightly.
‘Well,said Titus, rubbing his eyes. This is pretty bad news for our glorious President, wouldn’t you say so? I mean, it’s obviously him.’
Joe nodded.
Titus examined another Polaroid, then another. T don’t know what the hell turns anybody on about doing that, he remarked, turning one of the pictures around to show it to Joe. Joe shrugged, non-committal. Titus demanded: ‘You don’t get turned on by doing that, do you?’
‘No, sir.’
‘Good, said Titus, shuffling the pictures and then rucking them back in their envelope. ‘Good.’ Then, after a
long silence. ‘Wouldn’t want anybody on my staff capable of enjoying something that I don’t.’
‘Right,said Joe.
Titus wiped the side of his filthy wader on Joe’s off-white rugs. Joe watched him in a kind of martyred fascination, while the names of several brand-names of auto upholstery cleaners went through his mind. Delco did quite a good one of their own, he remembered.
‘Question is,’ said Titus, ‘what are we going to do about this lady? What’s the best way to handle her?’
Joe tried a smile, but then he realized that Titus hadn’t meant any double entendre, and quickly looked grave instead. ‘First off, we have to protect her,’ he said. ‘The minute the media get a sniff of what’s going on, they’re going to be after her like hounds. And if I know anything at all about Uncle Roberts, the. Unfortunate Accident Squad isn’t going to be close behind.’
Titus nodded, and pursed his lips in serious acknowledgement. ‘You’re right, Joe. See to it. Fix her up in some dinky suburban house just outside of Washington. Rockville, some place like that. Keep her guarded, and make sure that” she’s available when we want her. Keep her happy. Give her good food, and lots of booze. Give her a couple of well-hung guys if that’s what she wants. Dope, anything. But keep her secret and keep her ready. Better still, I might persuade Nadine to take care of her.’
‘Yes, sir, said Joe.
‘Where is she now?’ asked Titus.
‘Fort Worth, seeing her mother. But Nielsen’s with her.’
Titus was about to say something lashing, but held his tongue. Just because he personally hated the sight of his own mother, that didn’t mean that other people shouldn’t go to visit theirs. It was one of those human aberrations that couldn’t be avoided, like excessive religiosity, or homosexuality, or reproduction furniture.
‘We’d better get back to the hotel, said Titus. ‘I want to talk to Senator Rodney.’
There’s a phone right here, offered Joe, picking up the car telephone, and switching it on.
‘You think I want to talk to Senator Rodney in my waders?’ demanded Titus.
‘No, well, I guess not, said Joe.
‘Right then, said Titus, folding his arms. ‘Let’s go.’
It took them only ten minutes to get back to the Elkswood Hotel, a white timber-lapped building overlooking the trees and the foggy curve of the Shenandoah River. Joe carried Titus’ fishing-tackle for him as Titus walked with loudly-wobbling waders through the lobby, and up to the two-bedroomed suite where he was staying. A Secret Service agent was sitting outside on a folding chair, deep in The Playboy Advisor. He got up and stood uncomfortably to attention when Titus came past, but Titus absent-mindedly squeezed his shoulder, and said, ‘Don’t worry about it. Thanks for letting me get away for a couple of hours.’
Joe raised an interrogative eyebrow at the agent as he followed Titus into the room, and it was clear from the agent’s slight inclination of his head that Titus had never been really alone. Another Secret Service agent would have been waiting patiently in the woods by the river, with a pair of binoculars and a high-powered rifle. Titus was too unpopular with too many nuts and
‘It’s the correct way up, said Joe, tightly.
‘Well,said Titus, rubbing his eyes. This is pretty bad news for our glorious President, wouldn’t you say so? I mean, it’s obviously him.’
Joe nodded.
Titus examined another Polaroid, then another. T don’t know what the hell turns anybody on about doing that, he remarked, turning one of the pictures around to show it to Joe. Joe shrugged, non-committal. Titus demanded: ‘You don’t get turned on by doing that, do you?’
‘No, sir.’
‘Good, said Titus, shuffling the pictures and then rucking them back in their envelope. ‘Good.’ Then, after a
long silence. ‘Wouldn’t want anybody on my staff capable of enjoying something that I don’t.’
‘Right,said Joe.
Titus wiped the side of his filthy wader on Joe’s off-white rugs. Joe watched him in a kind of martyred fascination, while the names of several brand-names of auto upholstery cleaners went through his mind. Delco did quite a good one of their own, he remembered.
‘Question is,’ said Titus, ‘what are we going to do about this lady? What’s the best way to handle her?’
Joe tried a smile, but then he realized that Titus hadn’t meant any double entendre, and quickly looked grave instead. ‘First off, we have to protect her,’ he said. ‘The minute the media get a sniff of what’s going on, they’re going to be after her like hounds. And if I know anything at all about Uncle Roberts, the. Unfortunate Accident Squad isn’t going to be close behind.’
Titus nodded, and pursed his lips in serious acknowledgement. ‘You’re right, Joe. See to it. Fix her up in some dinky suburban house just outside of Washington. Rockville, some place like that. Keep her guarded, and make sure that” she’s available when we want her. Keep her happy. Give her good food, and lots of booze. Give her a couple of well-hung guys if that’s what she wants. Dope, anything. But keep her secret and keep her ready. Better still, I might persuade Nadine to take care of her.’
‘Yes, sir, said Joe.
‘Where is she now?’ asked Titus.
‘Fort Worth, seeing her mother. But Nielsen’s with her.’
Titus was about to say something lashing, but held his tongue. Just because he personally hated the sight of his own mother, that didn’t mean that other people shouldn’t go to visit theirs. It was one of those human aberrations that couldn’t be avoided, like excessive religiosity, or homosexuality, or reproduction furniture.
‘We’d better get back to the hotel, said Titus. ‘I want to talk to Senator Rodney.’
There’s a phone right here, offered Joe, picking up the car telephone, and switching it on.
‘You think I want to talk to Senator Rodney in my waders?’ demanded Titus.
‘No, well, I guess not, said Joe.
‘Right then, said Titus, folding his arms. ‘Let’s go.’
It took them only ten minutes to get back to the Elkswood Hotel, a white timber-lapped building overlooking the trees and the foggy curve of the Shenandoah River. Joe carried Titus’ fishing-tackle for him as Titus walked with loudly-wobbling waders through the lobby, and up to the two-bedroomed suite where he was staying. A Secret Service agent was sitting outside on a folding chair, deep in The Playboy Advisor. He got up and stood uncomfortably to attention when Titus came past, but Titus absent-mindedly squeezed his shoulder, and said, ‘Don’t worry about it. Thanks for letting me get away for a couple of hours.’
Joe raised an interrogative eyebrow at the agent as he followed Titus into the room, and it was clear from the agent’s slight inclination of his head that Titus had never been really alone. Another Secret Service agent would have been waiting patiently in the woods by the river, with a pair of binoculars and a high-powered rifle. Titus was too unpopular with too many nuts and
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