I'm Going to Be Famous by Tom Birdseye Page B

crows, look at the crows.”
    From the window of room 11, I can see the crows. They have seen my tuna sandwich. They swoop down from the telephone wires, one by one, gliding onto the soccer field. They walk around the sandwich, eyeing it. I think they’re not sure if it’s alive or dead. Crows are patient. They’ll make sure before they eat.
    But I’m not feeling so patient. I can’t wait any longer for my banana. This is SSR, not SSE, so I’ll have to be sneaky. I’ll have to read and eat at the same time.
    Slowly, I reach into my desk and gently undo the clasp on my backpack. Very carefully, I raise the flap just enough to slip my hand in. I check the room to see if anyone is watching. Mr. Dayton’s mustache is twitching as he reads. My fellow fifth-graders are reading silently for twenty sustained minutes. Now is the time for action.
    Gently I probe. With the hands of a pro, I seek out the golden, delicious fruit. Bingo, I’ve struck pay dirt. Once again, I check the room for safety. Looking carefully at my Guinness Book of World Records, I slowly pull my practice banana from my desk. Success. I will dine on banana and watch the crows.
    The crows have decided it’s time to eat. I agree. They’re hopping around, pulling bits and pieces of the deceased sandwich apart. I’m performing the ultimate banana feat. I’m peeling my banana with my right hand—and I’m left-handed.
    The crows jump in at the sandwich, fight for a piece, and fly a few feet away to eat. They’re always trying to outdo each other, sneak a piece when no one is looking, or steal a bit from another crow. What a weird way to eat.
    Luckily, no one is jumping at my banana. I don’t have to fight for a piece. All I have to do is peel my banana with one hand. No problem for an expert. Ah … finished.
    Carefully, I break off a piece. Raising my Guinness Book of World Records from my desk toward my face, I smoothly pop my piece of wonderful banana goodness into my mouth and chew, chew, chew, swallow. Not bad. I’m getting faster all the time.
    â€œExcuse me, Arlo, but are you eating?”
    Aiyee! It’s Mr. Dayton.
    â€œUh … well … I … yes … yes sir, Mr. Dayton, I am,” I stammer, caught in the act.
    â€œBananas have a strong odor, Arlo,” he says, standing beside my desk, looking down at me. “I could smell it all the way up at my desk.”
    I shift in my chair and wish I could just run away. I feel like a bug trapped in a jar. “You could? Really?” I ask.
    â€œYes. It’s not hard for a banana-lover to smell his favorite fruit.”
    Do I detect a smile under that mustache? “Are you a banana-lover, Mr. Dayton?”
    â€œYes,” he replies, “but I don’t eat them during SSR. It’s Sustained Silent Reading, not Sustained Silent Eating.”
    Good grief, I think he can read my mind, just like Mom.
    â€œThis won’t happen again, will it, Arlo?” he continues, his mustache twitching.
    â€œNo sir,” I assure him.
    Whew, saved by the understanding of one banana-lover for another.
    â€œOh, Arlo,” Mr. Dayton says.
    He’s probably changed his mind. I’m about to be sent to Mrs. Caldwell’s office.
    â€œYes, Mr. Dayton?”
    â€œThis world-record business, it’s just for fun, right?” he asks with raised eyebrows.
    â€œWell, yes sir, but—”
    â€œGood, good. I just wanted to be sure. As long as you’ve got the right attitude, I wish you all the luck in the world,” he says as he turns to go back to his desk.
    â€œThanks, Mr. Dayton.” I sigh with relief.
    I can, I can, I can, I can …

CHAPTER 16
    â€œWhat are friends for?”
    â€” M URRAY W ALLACE
    Sophie Zacker thinks I’ve gone insane. She was the only person in the hall when I quietly snuck out of room 11. She’s the only person who saw me slink into the boys’