any powerful tool, text messaging has its shortfalls. For instance, there’s the dreaded scenario when a girl texts me: “i’m with my bf” and I have no idea if she means “best friend” or “boyfriend.” And when a random text pops up on my phone from a number I don’t recognize, I immediately Google the area code to determine where in the country the texter resides. This knowledge allows me to not simply delete the message, but instead delete the message while exclaiming, “Who the fuck is texting me from [insert city]?”
In my last book, Ruminations on Twentysomething Life, I wrote that if a guy leaves a voicemail for a chick, and she emails him back, that’s a pretty bad sign. But if a guy leaves a voicemail for a chick and she texts him back, that’s even worse. Because that means she had her phone in her hand, and instead of hitting one button to call you back, she hit fifty buttons to text you instead. That’s how much she didn’t want to talk to you.
Texting is a valuable part of the single guy’s arsenal, but sometimes we forget to text in moderation. Recently I found myself lying in bed on a Saturday, nursing a hangover, and texting with a girl to try to get her to come out that night. When the conversation was over, I looked at the clock, saw it was 11:49 a.m., and realized I had set a new personal record: hitting on a chick before noon.
E-GAME
Technology has enabled today’s bachelor to minimize the number of physical touchpoints involved between meeting a girl and getting her in the sack. We may be introduced on Facebook and then transfer the conversation to email, before finally making plans via text. Or we may discover each other on Twitter and begin emailing, before meeting up via BlackBerry Messenger. Whatever the scenario, electronic game (or “e-game”) is rapidly becoming the most important skill single dudes can possess.
The granddaddy of modern technology—email—is still the cornerstone of all e-game. The first email method I use is called the “solo BCC.” Essentially, I write what looks like a mass email (for instance, a query if anyone is looking for a roommate), but then only BCC one person—the girl I’m targeting. If I craft the message properly, I can get her to respond—thereby initiating the conversation—without seeming like I was purposely hitting on her.
Once email rapport has begun, I’m careful never to send two messages in a row without her replying first—that reeks of desperation. If the dialogue doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, or if it’s getting late, I always make sure she sends the final email. That way she’s left wondering what happened until I pick up the exchange the following day. She might even send two emails in a row, thus giving me even more of an upper hand.
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ETIQUETTE
If you’re going to attempt to kick e-game, make sure you have your email set up to include the previous message in your reply. Quite possibly my biggest pet peeve is when girls write me a clean email without the entire thread below. Listen, lady, I’m hitting on several chicks at once here; refreshing my memory about what the hell we were talking about is common courtesy.
In addition, sending me a drunk email is always welcome. But please do not accidentally hit caps lock and then write me a rambling missive in which all the letters that are supposed to be lowercase are capitalized, and vice versa. It looks like a little electronic ransom note.
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One of the pitfalls of emailing (and texting) is that it is difficult to discern nuance in the other person’s messages. Sometimes I’ll be emailing with a girl and the conversation is flirtatious yet also a little adversarial, and so I start to think that there’s a lot of sexual tension between the two of us and that, quite possibly, the next time we see each other, all that tension is going to bubble over and we’re just gonna fuck like animals. But it usually turns out that it was all in my
In my last book, Ruminations on Twentysomething Life, I wrote that if a guy leaves a voicemail for a chick, and she emails him back, that’s a pretty bad sign. But if a guy leaves a voicemail for a chick and she texts him back, that’s even worse. Because that means she had her phone in her hand, and instead of hitting one button to call you back, she hit fifty buttons to text you instead. That’s how much she didn’t want to talk to you.
Texting is a valuable part of the single guy’s arsenal, but sometimes we forget to text in moderation. Recently I found myself lying in bed on a Saturday, nursing a hangover, and texting with a girl to try to get her to come out that night. When the conversation was over, I looked at the clock, saw it was 11:49 a.m., and realized I had set a new personal record: hitting on a chick before noon.
E-GAME
Technology has enabled today’s bachelor to minimize the number of physical touchpoints involved between meeting a girl and getting her in the sack. We may be introduced on Facebook and then transfer the conversation to email, before finally making plans via text. Or we may discover each other on Twitter and begin emailing, before meeting up via BlackBerry Messenger. Whatever the scenario, electronic game (or “e-game”) is rapidly becoming the most important skill single dudes can possess.
The granddaddy of modern technology—email—is still the cornerstone of all e-game. The first email method I use is called the “solo BCC.” Essentially, I write what looks like a mass email (for instance, a query if anyone is looking for a roommate), but then only BCC one person—the girl I’m targeting. If I craft the message properly, I can get her to respond—thereby initiating the conversation—without seeming like I was purposely hitting on her.
Once email rapport has begun, I’m careful never to send two messages in a row without her replying first—that reeks of desperation. If the dialogue doesn’t seem to be going anywhere, or if it’s getting late, I always make sure she sends the final email. That way she’s left wondering what happened until I pick up the exchange the following day. She might even send two emails in a row, thus giving me even more of an upper hand.
----
ETIQUETTE
If you’re going to attempt to kick e-game, make sure you have your email set up to include the previous message in your reply. Quite possibly my biggest pet peeve is when girls write me a clean email without the entire thread below. Listen, lady, I’m hitting on several chicks at once here; refreshing my memory about what the hell we were talking about is common courtesy.
In addition, sending me a drunk email is always welcome. But please do not accidentally hit caps lock and then write me a rambling missive in which all the letters that are supposed to be lowercase are capitalized, and vice versa. It looks like a little electronic ransom note.
----
One of the pitfalls of emailing (and texting) is that it is difficult to discern nuance in the other person’s messages. Sometimes I’ll be emailing with a girl and the conversation is flirtatious yet also a little adversarial, and so I start to think that there’s a lot of sexual tension between the two of us and that, quite possibly, the next time we see each other, all that tension is going to bubble over and we’re just gonna fuck like animals. But it usually turns out that it was all in my
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