nonsense, Fräulein. We Germans are looking forward, not backward.
That era of German cinema is dead.
The German cinema I create will not only be the cinema of Europe, but the world’s only alternative to the degenerate Jewish influence of Hollywood.
Fredrick jumps in…
FREDRICK
Along with being a cinema owner, Emmanuelle is quite a formidable film critic.
He chuckles, but alone.
GOEBBELS
So it would appear. Unfortunately for the Fräulein, I’ve outlawed film criticism.
Zoller, thinking fast, says:
FREDRICK
Why don’t you screen “Lucky Kids”? I’m sure Emmanuelle hasn’t seen it. And it’s so funny. I’ve been meaning to recommend it
to her, for her German night. That’s a great idea. Let’s watch “Lucky Kids” tonight.
GOEBBELS
Ahhh, “Lucky Kids,” “Lucky Kids,” “Lucky Kids.” When all is said and done, my most purely enjoyable production. Not only that,
I wouldn’t be surprised if sixty years from now, it’s “Lucky Kids” that I’m the most remembered for. I know it doesn’t seem
like it now, but mark my words.
Very well, I’ll have a print sent over to the Fräulein’s cinema. We’ll screen “Lucky Kids” tonight.
As Francesca interprets this for Shosanna…
the empty chair next to the young Jewish girl is suddenly filled with the bottom half of a gray S.S. officer uniform.
GOEBBELS
Ah, Landa, you’re here. This is the young lady in question.
The S.S. officer sits down, and it’s our old friend from the first scene, COL. HANS LANDA.
FREDRICK
Emmanuelle, this is Col. Hans Landa of the S.S. He’ll be running security for the premiere.
CU SHOSANNA
A bomb is dropped and detonated behind her eyes. But if she gives any indication of this, her war story ends here.
The S.S. OFFICER
who murered her family takes her hand and kisses it, saying in perfect French:
COL. LANDA
Charmed, Mademoiselle.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
Better known as “the Jew Hunter.”
The table laughs.
GOEBBELS
Oh, Francesca, what was that funny thing the Führer said about Hans?
FRANCESCA
What thing?
GOEBBELS
You know, you were there. It was a funny thing the Führer said, about Hans… something about a pig?
Francesca’s memory is jogged.
FRANCESCA
Oh, yes, of course.
She repeats it by whispering it in Goebbels’s ear.
GOEBBELS
Oh, yes, of course, that’s it. So the Führer said he wouldn’t be surprised if Hans weren’t rooting out Jews like a truffle
pig from the playpen.
FRANCESCA
That’s what we need, pigs that can root out Jews.
COL. LANDA
Who needs pigs when you have me?
Big, hearty laugh around the table.
GOEBBELS
Do you have an engagement tonight?
COL. LANDA
Well, as a matter of fact, I do—
GOEBBELS
—Break it. We’re all going to the fräulein’s cinema tonight to view “Lucky Kids.”
COL. LANDA
Splendid.
Then the Reich minister’s companion, Mademoiselle Mondino, interrupts:
FRANCESCA
And now I must get Reich Minister Goebbels to his next appointment.
GOEBBELS
Slave driver! French slave driver!
They all chuckle.
Everybody begins to stand up from the table…
Francesca gathers the stupid dogs…
As Col. Landa stands, he says:
COL. LANDA
Actually, in my role as security chief of this joyous German occasion, I’m afraid I must have a word with Mademoiselle Mimieux.
Mademoiselle Mimieux’s eyes go to Private Zoller, who responds.
FREDRICK
What sort of discussion?
COL. LANDA
That sounded suspiciously like a soldier questioning the order of a colonel? Or am I just being sensitive?
FREDRICK
Nothing could be further from the truth, Colonel. Your authority is beyond question. But your reputation precedes you. Should
Mademoiselle Mimieux or myself be concerned?
GOEBBELS
Hans, the boy means no harm, he’s simply smitten. And he’s correct. Your reputation does precede you.
Laughter all around. The Reich minister and his Axis entourage make their way to front of the café, with the two dumb dogs
on a leash, leading the way.
COL. LANDA
No need for
That era of German cinema is dead.
The German cinema I create will not only be the cinema of Europe, but the world’s only alternative to the degenerate Jewish influence of Hollywood.
Fredrick jumps in…
FREDRICK
Along with being a cinema owner, Emmanuelle is quite a formidable film critic.
He chuckles, but alone.
GOEBBELS
So it would appear. Unfortunately for the Fräulein, I’ve outlawed film criticism.
Zoller, thinking fast, says:
FREDRICK
Why don’t you screen “Lucky Kids”? I’m sure Emmanuelle hasn’t seen it. And it’s so funny. I’ve been meaning to recommend it
to her, for her German night. That’s a great idea. Let’s watch “Lucky Kids” tonight.
GOEBBELS
Ahhh, “Lucky Kids,” “Lucky Kids,” “Lucky Kids.” When all is said and done, my most purely enjoyable production. Not only that,
I wouldn’t be surprised if sixty years from now, it’s “Lucky Kids” that I’m the most remembered for. I know it doesn’t seem
like it now, but mark my words.
Very well, I’ll have a print sent over to the Fräulein’s cinema. We’ll screen “Lucky Kids” tonight.
As Francesca interprets this for Shosanna…
the empty chair next to the young Jewish girl is suddenly filled with the bottom half of a gray S.S. officer uniform.
GOEBBELS
Ah, Landa, you’re here. This is the young lady in question.
The S.S. officer sits down, and it’s our old friend from the first scene, COL. HANS LANDA.
FREDRICK
Emmanuelle, this is Col. Hans Landa of the S.S. He’ll be running security for the premiere.
CU SHOSANNA
A bomb is dropped and detonated behind her eyes. But if she gives any indication of this, her war story ends here.
The S.S. OFFICER
who murered her family takes her hand and kisses it, saying in perfect French:
COL. LANDA
Charmed, Mademoiselle.
MAJOR HELLSTROM
Better known as “the Jew Hunter.”
The table laughs.
GOEBBELS
Oh, Francesca, what was that funny thing the Führer said about Hans?
FRANCESCA
What thing?
GOEBBELS
You know, you were there. It was a funny thing the Führer said, about Hans… something about a pig?
Francesca’s memory is jogged.
FRANCESCA
Oh, yes, of course.
She repeats it by whispering it in Goebbels’s ear.
GOEBBELS
Oh, yes, of course, that’s it. So the Führer said he wouldn’t be surprised if Hans weren’t rooting out Jews like a truffle
pig from the playpen.
FRANCESCA
That’s what we need, pigs that can root out Jews.
COL. LANDA
Who needs pigs when you have me?
Big, hearty laugh around the table.
GOEBBELS
Do you have an engagement tonight?
COL. LANDA
Well, as a matter of fact, I do—
GOEBBELS
—Break it. We’re all going to the fräulein’s cinema tonight to view “Lucky Kids.”
COL. LANDA
Splendid.
Then the Reich minister’s companion, Mademoiselle Mondino, interrupts:
FRANCESCA
And now I must get Reich Minister Goebbels to his next appointment.
GOEBBELS
Slave driver! French slave driver!
They all chuckle.
Everybody begins to stand up from the table…
Francesca gathers the stupid dogs…
As Col. Landa stands, he says:
COL. LANDA
Actually, in my role as security chief of this joyous German occasion, I’m afraid I must have a word with Mademoiselle Mimieux.
Mademoiselle Mimieux’s eyes go to Private Zoller, who responds.
FREDRICK
What sort of discussion?
COL. LANDA
That sounded suspiciously like a soldier questioning the order of a colonel? Or am I just being sensitive?
FREDRICK
Nothing could be further from the truth, Colonel. Your authority is beyond question. But your reputation precedes you. Should
Mademoiselle Mimieux or myself be concerned?
GOEBBELS
Hans, the boy means no harm, he’s simply smitten. And he’s correct. Your reputation does precede you.
Laughter all around. The Reich minister and his Axis entourage make their way to front of the café, with the two dumb dogs
on a leash, leading the way.
COL. LANDA
No need for
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