Inhale, Exhale by Sarah M. Ross

hitched at his words. “See? Like I said, not a dumb bone in you.”
    The all-too-familiar blush crept back onto my face. “You don’t know me that well.”
    “I’d like to change that. What are you doing tonight? A bunch of us from work are going to this beach party. I’d love it if you could come.”
    For a moment, I pictured myself there. Laughing and having fun around a bonfire and splashing in the ocean. Grant in his board shorts that would hang low, revealing that deep V I was sure was there. But then I snapped out of it, remembering how inappropriate my thoughts were. “I have a boyfriend. I can’t.”
    “It’s not a date, Jillian. Just a group of friends hanging out.” He packed up his supplies, but paused before leaving. He stared deeply into my eyes, making my palms sweat. Leaning in close, he whispered in my ear. “If I were asking you out, it wouldn’t be with a group of people. It would be only us—alone—so I wouldn’t have anything from distracting me from admiring every nook and cranny on your beautiful face, Cupcake.”
    I swallowed down the lump that formed in my throat. My mouth had gone dry; I was unable to form a thought, let alone words.
    “Here.” He reached out and gently took my hand. “I’ll do this old school since you don’t like technology.”
    My mouth opened, but I couldn’t respond. I stared at him as he took out a pen. He picked up my tiny hand, which shook slightly, and held it in his own. The contact was slight, but powerful. I was frozen in place as he wrote on my palm. The only movement came from my heart that pounded in my chest. Before he let go, he gently blew on the ink to help it dry, causing me to emit the faintest of moans.
    “In case you change your mind,” he whispered, then winked and walked away.

    Later that night, as I piled pillows on the floor and popped bags of popcorn for my Twilight movie marathon with Ava and Trish, I found my mind wandering to what Grant had said. I had never wanted to lean in and kiss someone so badly in my entire life. Even though my first kiss with Christian was electric, the anticipation of kissing Grant blew that out of the water.
    I rubbed my temples. I cannot think this way! I have a wonderful, supportive, sweet boyfriend who loves me. I can’t keep thinking of Grant. It’s wrong , I chastised myself. I only want him because it’s new and forbidden. The grass is not greener! He’s probably a jerk once you get to know him .
    I picked up the phone, needing to hear Christian’s voice to reassure me. I’d tried to ditch my friends to see him tonight, knowing it was his only free night all weekend, but he’d made other plans already with his surfing buddies. They were going to hear some band play in Jacksonville, hoping to open for them on an upcoming tour. Besides, both Ava and Trish would be leaving first thing Monday morning for two weeks of being camp counselors, and it was our last chance to hang out.
    Christian picked up on the fourth ring. “Hey, babe. I’m heading out, so I can’t talk.”
    I heard a lot of noise in the background, including several giggling girls, making my stomach tighten. “Where are you?”
    “We’re backstage at the club meeting the band. There’s a ton of people, so I can’t really hear you. Hold on.” He tried to muffle the sound, but I could still hear him whisper, “Chill for a sec, it’s my girlfriend,” before coming back on the line. “Can we talk later? Now’s not the best time”
    “Oh, I’m sorry. I just wanted to hear your voice for a few minutes and tell you I love you.”
    “You too. Gotta run, bye!”
    I sighed as he hung up and went to add some cheese to the popcorn. I didn’t quite get the reaffirmation of our love I was hoping for, but I knew he loved me. Even if he didn’t always show it.
    All night, as I watched the movies and the struggle Bella had choosing between Edward and Jacob, I couldn’t help think about Grant. But by the start of Breaking Dawn ,