that you weren't into commitment-at least, that's what I'd heard."
"Ohh," Ryan said, the light going on. "You thought I'd be safe-just a little playing around-no big deal."
"Yeah," she said, still blushing. "I don't want anything permanent, but sometimes it just hurts 'cause I want it so bad." She finally turned and gazed at Ryan with pained eyes. "Do you know what I mean?"
"I think so," Ryan said. "I know what it's like to have that desire, Jordan. It's pretty hard to say no to it forever."
"I know!" she cried, wiping her face with the back of her hand. "It was so hard to lie on that chaise with Mia and not…touch her." She blinked at Ryan for a second and added, "I think she wanted me to."
Oh, Lord! Knowing Mia, she wanted to do a lot more than just touch! "I've gotta tell you, Jordan, you sure don't act like a woman who hasn't done this before. Does Mia know?"
"Huh-uh," she said, shaking her head somberly. "It's easy for me to act like I'm teasing or playing around, but I'm scared shitless to really do anything, Ryan."
"What do you want to happen with Mia? Do you want to have sex with her?"
"God yes! I've been dreaming about her every night since we met. I go to sleep thinking about how her lips felt, and I wake up wishing that I was holding her."
"How did you get up the nerve to kiss her for the first time?" Ryan asked. "Wasn't that a really big step for you?"
"Well, it woulda been if I'd done anything," she said with a grimace. "We had the best time that night, just talking. There was a part of me that felt so attracted to her-I really wished that I had the guts to kiss her. When she wanted to get something to drink, I sat down on a chair in your kitchen. She brought over a big glass of juice and asked if I wanted some. I said, 'Sure,' and she brought the glass up to my lips. She was leaning over to make sure that she didn't spill." Jordan gave Ryan a puzzled look and said, "I still don't know why I didn't take the damned glass out of her hand."
"I have an idea, but go on," Ryan smiled.
"So she's leaning over me, and when she takes the glass away, there was a little juice on the side of my mouth. She gave me this look," Jordan shivered all over as she recalled the scene, "then she leaned over a little more and said, 'You dripped.' I looked up at her with what had to be the stupidest look in the history of the world, and she leaned over and kissed it off of me." Jordan blinked, still obviously puzzled by the encounter. "Next thing I know, she's sitting on my lap, and we're kissing like I've never kissed anyone before. My God! If you hadn't come down right then, I don't know what would have happened!"
"Again, I've got an idea…"
"I'm scared, Ryan," Jordan said softly. "I really don't know what to do, and I don't want this to be a big deal." She looked up at Ryan with a look of total confusion. "Are you absolutely sure that she's not a lesbian?"
"No, I'm not sure of that for anyone-except myself, of course," she joked. "I know Mia's had a long-time boyfriend, and I know she really likes guys. I'd never seen her with a girl before, Jordan, so this is all new for me. I think you need to ask her."
"Oh, that'll go over well. Um…Mia, I'd really like to have sex with you 'cause I think I'm gay, but I don't know what in the hell I'm doing, and I think you do. Being near you makes me ache, but I wanna make sure that you're not gay, 'cause I don't want you to fall in love with me or anything, 'cause I like volleyball more than you." She gave Ryan a droll look and said, "Smooth enough line?"
"I could make a few suggestions to spruce it up a little if you want," Ryan offered, smiling warmly at her flustered friend.
"Go."
Ryan gave her a little snort of a laugh and said, "You remind me of my brother Brendan sometimes. He speaks in shorthand, too." Jordan gave her a smirk and she continued, "You could tell Mia the whole truth. Tell her that you're trying to figure your sexuality out, but that you aren't in the
"Ohh," Ryan said, the light going on. "You thought I'd be safe-just a little playing around-no big deal."
"Yeah," she said, still blushing. "I don't want anything permanent, but sometimes it just hurts 'cause I want it so bad." She finally turned and gazed at Ryan with pained eyes. "Do you know what I mean?"
"I think so," Ryan said. "I know what it's like to have that desire, Jordan. It's pretty hard to say no to it forever."
"I know!" she cried, wiping her face with the back of her hand. "It was so hard to lie on that chaise with Mia and not…touch her." She blinked at Ryan for a second and added, "I think she wanted me to."
Oh, Lord! Knowing Mia, she wanted to do a lot more than just touch! "I've gotta tell you, Jordan, you sure don't act like a woman who hasn't done this before. Does Mia know?"
"Huh-uh," she said, shaking her head somberly. "It's easy for me to act like I'm teasing or playing around, but I'm scared shitless to really do anything, Ryan."
"What do you want to happen with Mia? Do you want to have sex with her?"
"God yes! I've been dreaming about her every night since we met. I go to sleep thinking about how her lips felt, and I wake up wishing that I was holding her."
"How did you get up the nerve to kiss her for the first time?" Ryan asked. "Wasn't that a really big step for you?"
"Well, it woulda been if I'd done anything," she said with a grimace. "We had the best time that night, just talking. There was a part of me that felt so attracted to her-I really wished that I had the guts to kiss her. When she wanted to get something to drink, I sat down on a chair in your kitchen. She brought over a big glass of juice and asked if I wanted some. I said, 'Sure,' and she brought the glass up to my lips. She was leaning over to make sure that she didn't spill." Jordan gave Ryan a puzzled look and said, "I still don't know why I didn't take the damned glass out of her hand."
"I have an idea, but go on," Ryan smiled.
"So she's leaning over me, and when she takes the glass away, there was a little juice on the side of my mouth. She gave me this look," Jordan shivered all over as she recalled the scene, "then she leaned over a little more and said, 'You dripped.' I looked up at her with what had to be the stupidest look in the history of the world, and she leaned over and kissed it off of me." Jordan blinked, still obviously puzzled by the encounter. "Next thing I know, she's sitting on my lap, and we're kissing like I've never kissed anyone before. My God! If you hadn't come down right then, I don't know what would have happened!"
"Again, I've got an idea…"
"I'm scared, Ryan," Jordan said softly. "I really don't know what to do, and I don't want this to be a big deal." She looked up at Ryan with a look of total confusion. "Are you absolutely sure that she's not a lesbian?"
"No, I'm not sure of that for anyone-except myself, of course," she joked. "I know Mia's had a long-time boyfriend, and I know she really likes guys. I'd never seen her with a girl before, Jordan, so this is all new for me. I think you need to ask her."
"Oh, that'll go over well. Um…Mia, I'd really like to have sex with you 'cause I think I'm gay, but I don't know what in the hell I'm doing, and I think you do. Being near you makes me ache, but I wanna make sure that you're not gay, 'cause I don't want you to fall in love with me or anything, 'cause I like volleyball more than you." She gave Ryan a droll look and said, "Smooth enough line?"
"I could make a few suggestions to spruce it up a little if you want," Ryan offered, smiling warmly at her flustered friend.
"Go."
Ryan gave her a little snort of a laugh and said, "You remind me of my brother Brendan sometimes. He speaks in shorthand, too." Jordan gave her a smirk and she continued, "You could tell Mia the whole truth. Tell her that you're trying to figure your sexuality out, but that you aren't in the
Similar Books
