Charlie.” He paused. “Actually… switch that!”
“Where am I?” she continued. She seemed seriously pissed off. “What happened to my quarters?”
“I… erm… well..” Charlie stammered.
Behind him there was another Ping! followed by a loud grunting noise. Charlie froze.
“What Is The Meaning Of This?” boomed a loud, rib cage rattling voice. “I Demand To Know What’s Going On Here!”
The pig alien was awake. And he was even more pissed off then the female. Charlie glanced over to him and gulped. Sitting up in the canister he was huge! He was the biggest bastard that Charlie had ever seen in his life! His three fingered hands were larger than Charlie’s head and could probably crush his skull with ease. In fact Charlie was sure that this alien had crushed many skulls in his time. Perhaps that is why these characters were inside these canisters. Perhaps they were evil criminals and Greebol was some sort of interstellar police officer.
“You!” the large alien called, one of his thick, orange fingers pointing at Charlie, “Is This Your Doing Pink Skin?” Charlie tried to protest but found nothing but a terrified gibber release from his lips. His pants were damp again.
“I Will Crush Your Skull For This Outrage Pink Skin” growled the pig alien. Charlie was right. He did crush skulls. He would have patted himself on the back for correctly guessing that one had his back not been firmly against the wall and if he wasted time right now patting himself on the back he would probably find himself with a very flat head.
As the pig alien moved towards him, instinct decided to pop by and tell Charlie what to do. With one quick movement, and with closed eyes, he swung at the pig alien with the large instruction manual. The attack came as a surprise to the alien who, caught off guard, took the full force of the book on the top of his big, bald orange head.
Charlie took his chance and swung again, this time connecting the book with the pig’s lower jaw. The alien fell backwards back into the canister. Instantly Charlie slammed the glass lid down and pressed the ‘freeze’ button. The inside of the canister turned blue as the pig creature froze solid, his eyes closing, returning him to the deep sleep in which Charlie had found him.
“Well…” said the voice of the female alien behind him. She was unable to finish her sentence as Charlie, forgetting that she was there and in a great panic, swung the large book at her too, cracking her across the head and sending her back down into the canister.
Panicking, Charlie slammed the lid down and once again pressed the ‘freeze’ button sending the lovely looking female alien instantly to the land of nod. At least Charlie hoped they were asleep and he hadn’t actually just killed them both.
Alone once again Charlie slumped to the ground out of breath. All was silent except for the humming sounds emitting from the canisters. Now this was a story worth telling. He could see the headlines now – ‘Charlie Pinwright – Alien slayer!’ He would be a local hero! His mother would finally remember his face. His ex-girlfriend would fall in love with him and actually mean it this time. Geoffrey George would be begging him to take his job back! Women would want him and men would want to be him!
On the other hand who would ever believe him? He would have no proof that he had done this courageous deed. He could see the headlines now – ‘Charlie Pinwright – sectioned’ He would be a local weirdo. His mother would finally have a real reason to disown him. His ex-girlfriend would sell strange stories about him to the paper. Geoffrey George would be even more grateful to have seen the back of him. Women would stay clear of him and men would throw rocks at his face.
Not a very good prospect. Probably best he never mentioned this to anyone. Ever. Especially not to
“Where am I?” she continued. She seemed seriously pissed off. “What happened to my quarters?”
“I… erm… well..” Charlie stammered.
Behind him there was another Ping! followed by a loud grunting noise. Charlie froze.
“What Is The Meaning Of This?” boomed a loud, rib cage rattling voice. “I Demand To Know What’s Going On Here!”
The pig alien was awake. And he was even more pissed off then the female. Charlie glanced over to him and gulped. Sitting up in the canister he was huge! He was the biggest bastard that Charlie had ever seen in his life! His three fingered hands were larger than Charlie’s head and could probably crush his skull with ease. In fact Charlie was sure that this alien had crushed many skulls in his time. Perhaps that is why these characters were inside these canisters. Perhaps they were evil criminals and Greebol was some sort of interstellar police officer.
“You!” the large alien called, one of his thick, orange fingers pointing at Charlie, “Is This Your Doing Pink Skin?” Charlie tried to protest but found nothing but a terrified gibber release from his lips. His pants were damp again.
“I Will Crush Your Skull For This Outrage Pink Skin” growled the pig alien. Charlie was right. He did crush skulls. He would have patted himself on the back for correctly guessing that one had his back not been firmly against the wall and if he wasted time right now patting himself on the back he would probably find himself with a very flat head.
As the pig alien moved towards him, instinct decided to pop by and tell Charlie what to do. With one quick movement, and with closed eyes, he swung at the pig alien with the large instruction manual. The attack came as a surprise to the alien who, caught off guard, took the full force of the book on the top of his big, bald orange head.
Charlie took his chance and swung again, this time connecting the book with the pig’s lower jaw. The alien fell backwards back into the canister. Instantly Charlie slammed the glass lid down and pressed the ‘freeze’ button. The inside of the canister turned blue as the pig creature froze solid, his eyes closing, returning him to the deep sleep in which Charlie had found him.
“Well…” said the voice of the female alien behind him. She was unable to finish her sentence as Charlie, forgetting that she was there and in a great panic, swung the large book at her too, cracking her across the head and sending her back down into the canister.
Panicking, Charlie slammed the lid down and once again pressed the ‘freeze’ button sending the lovely looking female alien instantly to the land of nod. At least Charlie hoped they were asleep and he hadn’t actually just killed them both.
Alone once again Charlie slumped to the ground out of breath. All was silent except for the humming sounds emitting from the canisters. Now this was a story worth telling. He could see the headlines now – ‘Charlie Pinwright – Alien slayer!’ He would be a local hero! His mother would finally remember his face. His ex-girlfriend would fall in love with him and actually mean it this time. Geoffrey George would be begging him to take his job back! Women would want him and men would want to be him!
On the other hand who would ever believe him? He would have no proof that he had done this courageous deed. He could see the headlines now – ‘Charlie Pinwright – sectioned’ He would be a local weirdo. His mother would finally have a real reason to disown him. His ex-girlfriend would sell strange stories about him to the paper. Geoffrey George would be even more grateful to have seen the back of him. Women would stay clear of him and men would throw rocks at his face.
Not a very good prospect. Probably best he never mentioned this to anyone. Ever. Especially not to
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