Into the Deep 01 by Samantha Young

stomach churning. I didn’t want to dress up for him because I thought that would be pretty obvious, but I also stupidly wanted to look hot enough to annoy him. I wore my best black skinny jeans, short black ankle boots with a little heel, and a green Harley Davidson T-shirt that was a little short in the hem and snug across the bust. I topped it with my jewelry and let my hair spill down my back in its usual waves. Jake once told me I had sex hair all day, every day, and it used to drive him nuts. My petty hope was that everything about me now would drive him nuts. If I had to suffer through my attraction to him, it would certainly help a little if he had to suffer too.
    I got a couple of nods from guys as I passed and decided I’d done well today with my outfit. Yay. In the Library Bar, my eyes met the bartender first. He was cute in that I’m-deliberately-scruffy-so-you’ll-think-I-don’t-care-but-I-really-do kind of way. He wasn’t really my type, but I smiled to be polite when he gave me a nod. Turning, I found Jake sitting along the right side of the room in an open booth. He was scowling at the bartender.
    Ignoring the flutter in my stomach, I walked casually toward him, but my confidence slipped a little when Jake’s eyes found me. I felt his gaze sizzle through every nerve ending as he took me in from head to foot. A muscle ticked in his jaw and he moved back against the leather booth as if suddenly restless to get out of there.
    “Jake,” I greeted him flatly and slid into the opposite bench.
    “Charley.” He lifted a hand to get the bartender’s attention and the guy came over to take our orders for coffee, his heated focus making things awkward. I was almost relieved when he left.
    An uncomfortable silence—something Jake and I had never had to cope with before—fell between us as we waited. Finally when the coffees came, Jake took a sip and then started talking. “Your hair is much lighter. It looks good.”
    Although affected by the compliment, I pretended I wasn’t and stared blankly back at him.
    He switched tactics. “I know I fucked up hugely.”
    I put my coffee mug back on the saucer and sighed as if I didn’t have time for this crap. “Is that why I came here, Jake? To listen to you state the obvious?”
    “I’m trying here. You used to admire honesty. Have you changed?”
    I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’m meaner now. A lesson I learned from you.”
    Dropping his elbows on the table so he could lean closer, Jake gazed at me soulfully. “I was a dick to you. I can’t take that back. But I can apologize. I can try to explain.”
    Giving him a small nod, I encouraged him to go on.
    “I was lost somewhere else inside my head when it happened, Charley. I couldn’t see past that to anything or anyone. I was angry that it got that out of control and I blamed myself. You got caught up in it.”
    “I never turned my back on you. I don’t understand why you blamed me .”
    His brows puckered and he closed his eyes, as if in pain. “I didn’t blame you. I said things I didn’t even mean. All I wanted was to get out of there and put the whole thing behind me. By the time I looked back, it was too late. I couldn’t change what I’d done to you. I couldn’t change what I’d destroyed. I thought it was better to just let you move on. We were just kids, Charley.”
    He said it like our age meant anything. He said it like others had said it to me when he left, as though because I was only sixteen, my relationship hadn’t been real—that I hadn’t fallen hard and deep. To have Jake agree with them hurt like a mother. “Move on from me? Or from there?”
    “From there. From you too. You were a part of it, as much as I didn’t want you to be.”
    On that, I disagreed. “Then it’s a good thing you didn’t come back, if that’s the way you still see it.”
    “Charley, all I remember now about you is the good stuff. I let all that other shit go.” His eyelashes lowered over his