wherever they pay some kid twenty cents a day to put this piece of shit together, so they have to remove it. Kirsten is in the hands of the day surgery people, so Dr. J is not actually there, and apparently the doctor, whose name I have but guess I should not write since everybody else in this book gets a pseudonym, is a total asshole. “Well,” he says to Kirsten in this annoyed tone, “I have another
scheduled
one in a few minutes, so I can do this now, but if you really want to have the
drugs
, you’re going to have to come back
late late this afternoon ,
and
maybe
we can
try
to
squeeze
you in…” you get the idea. This is one of these “choices” they give you that’s really no choice at all, because you are already there, let’s just get this over with, so they give her a shot of Lidocaine, which is I guess like Novocaine–some kind of local anesthetic, and these are famously ineffective on Kirsten–she usually needs three times what the dentist thinks is a reasonable amount in order to really get numb, but clearly Dr. Mengele here is not really concerned about getting her numb, so he shoots her up and yanks the hose out, and you may recall that the hose is designed so that your tissue grows into it, and so it is incredibly painful, and Dr. Mengele is an asshole about it, and she is in pain and sad.
I find out all this when I get home that day, and I am ready to go down to the hospital and raise hell about Dr. Mengele, I can’t believe they ripped this thing out of her with a shot of a crappy local anaesthetic (and, later on, other medical professionals will also be incredulous), but Kirsten says there’s really no point, it’s not like he did anything wrong; he was just a dick. I think that is doing something wrong, but it’s not, you know, the kind of thing that you usually get a lot of satisfaction complaining about.
Except complaining about it right now is pretty satisfying, and if there is any justice in this universe at all, which I have come to doubt pretty severely, this guy will at some point become a torture victim and I’ll do a reverse Amnesty thing and write to his captors telling them to keep up the good work, and mail them car batteries and bamboo shoots and whatever else they need to keep this motherfucker in pain.
She Doesn’t Want to Canoe
The last weekend before Kirsten starts her chemo is our anniversary weekend. We do not plan to do anything romantic, mostly because Kirsten has this hose dangling out of her and feels kind of crappy. We decide to head down to her parents’ house. They live a block away from the beach about an hour from here. We spent many weekends down there this summer when we were afraid the Troll was really going to flip his lid and do something scary. We all got very comfortable down there, and it’s a big enough house that we can be down there without everybody feeling like they are on top of each other, which is important.
So we all head down there and have a very nice, relaxing weekend. Sort of. The thing is, Kirsten’s impending treatment is sort of hanging over the whole weekend. What we want is just to head down there and hang out and forget everything, but Kirsten’s parents seem to want to make this a special weekend for us, and while we appreciate the impulse, it does get kind of strange, and their desire to make it special keeps reminding us that it is special, that after this weekend all the shit starts. They decide at some point that we should take the canoe out and do some canoeing. I am game, but Kirsten seems kind of lukewarm. She says something like, “I don’t know if I really feel like it, ” but apparently this is not sufficiently negative, because the next thing we know, the canoe is strapped to the top of Kirsten’s mom’s car, and her dad keeps saying things like, “hey, you guys ready to take the canoe out?”
Kirsten eventually has to bite her parents’ heads off to make them understand that she doesn’t want to canoe.
scheduled
one in a few minutes, so I can do this now, but if you really want to have the
drugs
, you’re going to have to come back
late late this afternoon ,
and
maybe
we can
try
to
squeeze
you in…” you get the idea. This is one of these “choices” they give you that’s really no choice at all, because you are already there, let’s just get this over with, so they give her a shot of Lidocaine, which is I guess like Novocaine–some kind of local anesthetic, and these are famously ineffective on Kirsten–she usually needs three times what the dentist thinks is a reasonable amount in order to really get numb, but clearly Dr. Mengele here is not really concerned about getting her numb, so he shoots her up and yanks the hose out, and you may recall that the hose is designed so that your tissue grows into it, and so it is incredibly painful, and Dr. Mengele is an asshole about it, and she is in pain and sad.
I find out all this when I get home that day, and I am ready to go down to the hospital and raise hell about Dr. Mengele, I can’t believe they ripped this thing out of her with a shot of a crappy local anaesthetic (and, later on, other medical professionals will also be incredulous), but Kirsten says there’s really no point, it’s not like he did anything wrong; he was just a dick. I think that is doing something wrong, but it’s not, you know, the kind of thing that you usually get a lot of satisfaction complaining about.
Except complaining about it right now is pretty satisfying, and if there is any justice in this universe at all, which I have come to doubt pretty severely, this guy will at some point become a torture victim and I’ll do a reverse Amnesty thing and write to his captors telling them to keep up the good work, and mail them car batteries and bamboo shoots and whatever else they need to keep this motherfucker in pain.
She Doesn’t Want to Canoe
The last weekend before Kirsten starts her chemo is our anniversary weekend. We do not plan to do anything romantic, mostly because Kirsten has this hose dangling out of her and feels kind of crappy. We decide to head down to her parents’ house. They live a block away from the beach about an hour from here. We spent many weekends down there this summer when we were afraid the Troll was really going to flip his lid and do something scary. We all got very comfortable down there, and it’s a big enough house that we can be down there without everybody feeling like they are on top of each other, which is important.
So we all head down there and have a very nice, relaxing weekend. Sort of. The thing is, Kirsten’s impending treatment is sort of hanging over the whole weekend. What we want is just to head down there and hang out and forget everything, but Kirsten’s parents seem to want to make this a special weekend for us, and while we appreciate the impulse, it does get kind of strange, and their desire to make it special keeps reminding us that it is special, that after this weekend all the shit starts. They decide at some point that we should take the canoe out and do some canoeing. I am game, but Kirsten seems kind of lukewarm. She says something like, “I don’t know if I really feel like it, ” but apparently this is not sufficiently negative, because the next thing we know, the canoe is strapped to the top of Kirsten’s mom’s car, and her dad keeps saying things like, “hey, you guys ready to take the canoe out?”
Kirsten eventually has to bite her parents’ heads off to make them understand that she doesn’t want to canoe.
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