uncomfortable with a taller, mightier Jan he told her step down from the box. Jan and I were quite amused by the entire scene.
âA few days later when Jan was trying to make her point about a story with a producer, she went to the set, picked up the box and proceeded to discuss her view while standing tall atop the box. She won.â
I know the feeling of the guy who lost the argument. Jan was the Cute Blonde, but she held her ground well until she won. She was comfortable with who she was, what she believed, and how she wanted to live in this world. If she had a good idea, I quickly learned to adopt it because she was so often right.
Her confidence came from being the oldest, the one who had to watch out over the others when they were kids, and the one they looked up to ⦠except when they thought she was pushy and called her âBossyâ without realizing that she considered that a compliment.
After Jan moved to San Francisco to be with me, we were often visited by her family. There were four younger brothers and sisters, and she was a superhero to the youngest, her brother, Dave.
âJan was my âbig sisterâ with a nine year separation between us,â Dave told me. He didn't have much time growing up with her; when Jan went off to college, he was still in elementary school.
When Dave was in college, he visited the Bay Area for a lacrosse tournament at Stanford University. Jan was working at the NBC station in San Francisco, and Dave was excited about coming up to visitâeven if his appearance managed to scare nearly everyone who looked at him by the time he finally reached us. âI took a lacrosse stick to the mouth and received a lovely swollen and bloody lip that looked like an apricot hanging off my lipâ he remembers, a tad painfully. âThe night before going to see you and Jan in San Francisco I'd slept on the lawn of teammate's parents, so my hair was standing up on end. I hadn't showered after our games, and my lip was looking ohso good.
âWhen I got to the TV station downtown, I'm sure the security guards thought I looked like someone down on his luck and who'd had spent the night living rough on the street. Luckily Jan came bouncing down the stairs, gave me a big hug and then laughed at my appearance.
âShe gave me the keys to her car and directions to their house. After a long shower and a nap, we went to dinner, laughed way too much, and I was on a jet home the next day feeling very grown up having experienced San Francisco thanks to my big sister.â
I wish Jan could remember this moment, when she made her little brother feel so grown up. She never stopped to consider that what she gave so naturally could mean so much to others. To her, this was just being a good sister and nothing unusual about that.
I envied that in her because that is something hard for me. She could give without the expectation of getting anything back in return, and I treasured her ease at being a great big sister, or a good friend, or a wife who loved me despite my many faults. She was a natural.
There were many times when she gave me that unquestioned love. She took it with us when we started our move from San Francisco to our first tour in Tokyo, and then on to Moscow. She joked that we had gone from Japan, a country in the 25 th century, to Moscow still mired in about the 18 th .
Part of that feeling was brought on by the gloom of Moscow. Lights were expensive and hard to come by, so only one out of every two or three streetlights worked. On a dark winter's night, the gloom spread wide. It was the same in people's homes. They would sit by the dimness of a single lamp because light bulbs were scarce.
So gloom was not something she would accept from me, especially on January 14, the day I turned forty. It was winter, cold and dark outside, which matched my mood. Turning a decade older, which was how I saw it, made me feel that I should have accomplished more in life. Or
âA few days later when Jan was trying to make her point about a story with a producer, she went to the set, picked up the box and proceeded to discuss her view while standing tall atop the box. She won.â
I know the feeling of the guy who lost the argument. Jan was the Cute Blonde, but she held her ground well until she won. She was comfortable with who she was, what she believed, and how she wanted to live in this world. If she had a good idea, I quickly learned to adopt it because she was so often right.
Her confidence came from being the oldest, the one who had to watch out over the others when they were kids, and the one they looked up to ⦠except when they thought she was pushy and called her âBossyâ without realizing that she considered that a compliment.
After Jan moved to San Francisco to be with me, we were often visited by her family. There were four younger brothers and sisters, and she was a superhero to the youngest, her brother, Dave.
âJan was my âbig sisterâ with a nine year separation between us,â Dave told me. He didn't have much time growing up with her; when Jan went off to college, he was still in elementary school.
When Dave was in college, he visited the Bay Area for a lacrosse tournament at Stanford University. Jan was working at the NBC station in San Francisco, and Dave was excited about coming up to visitâeven if his appearance managed to scare nearly everyone who looked at him by the time he finally reached us. âI took a lacrosse stick to the mouth and received a lovely swollen and bloody lip that looked like an apricot hanging off my lipâ he remembers, a tad painfully. âThe night before going to see you and Jan in San Francisco I'd slept on the lawn of teammate's parents, so my hair was standing up on end. I hadn't showered after our games, and my lip was looking ohso good.
âWhen I got to the TV station downtown, I'm sure the security guards thought I looked like someone down on his luck and who'd had spent the night living rough on the street. Luckily Jan came bouncing down the stairs, gave me a big hug and then laughed at my appearance.
âShe gave me the keys to her car and directions to their house. After a long shower and a nap, we went to dinner, laughed way too much, and I was on a jet home the next day feeling very grown up having experienced San Francisco thanks to my big sister.â
I wish Jan could remember this moment, when she made her little brother feel so grown up. She never stopped to consider that what she gave so naturally could mean so much to others. To her, this was just being a good sister and nothing unusual about that.
I envied that in her because that is something hard for me. She could give without the expectation of getting anything back in return, and I treasured her ease at being a great big sister, or a good friend, or a wife who loved me despite my many faults. She was a natural.
There were many times when she gave me that unquestioned love. She took it with us when we started our move from San Francisco to our first tour in Tokyo, and then on to Moscow. She joked that we had gone from Japan, a country in the 25 th century, to Moscow still mired in about the 18 th .
Part of that feeling was brought on by the gloom of Moscow. Lights were expensive and hard to come by, so only one out of every two or three streetlights worked. On a dark winter's night, the gloom spread wide. It was the same in people's homes. They would sit by the dimness of a single lamp because light bulbs were scarce.
So gloom was not something she would accept from me, especially on January 14, the day I turned forty. It was winter, cold and dark outside, which matched my mood. Turning a decade older, which was how I saw it, made me feel that I should have accomplished more in life. Or
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