I heard as I rushed out of my room and grabbed the keys , slamming the door shut. I needed to charge my phone in the car. Who knew how long I would be? God knows what Sebastian had to say, probably who is the baby´s father?
22
A s I drove , I repeated to myself over and over again, “You can do this. Be strong. Be strong.” The words fell apart as I got to Dwayne´s drive and Sebastian was outside having a cigarette. Probably relieved at the idea that he wasn´t the father.
He was such a prick. I bet that was the first thing that went through his mind.
Great, I´m not the daddy. I can go to college and fuck whoever I want
.“So, why didn´t you tell them the truth?” He walked up to me as I parked the car. He didn´t even give me a chance to shut the door.
“Hello to you too, Sebastian.” I puffed as I slammed the car door shut. His arrogance and anger were both getting on my nerves big time.
“You told them about Roger. What the fuck? You think they´ll never find out?” He was following me like a bulldog ready to pounce and attack as soon as I retaliated. Pregnancy had taken its toll on me. I was only a few months, yet I was approaching my second trimester. I was supposed to be full of energy, but I felt the complete opposite.
“Maybe because you dumped me at the abortion clinic!” I screamed, because I hated the way he was playing innocent. How dare he question me.
“You´ve obviously decided to keep the baby. So why not tell the truth!”
He was beginning to sound like a broken record. Repeating the same information. Ignoring the way that he had treated me.
Dwayne came and gently pulled me to the side. “Sebastian, she doesn´t need this. If I had known that this was why you dragged her out here, I would have told you to fuck off!”
I was shocked by Dwayne´s words. I never expected him to stick up for me. I thought he would take his friend´s side. The way he had his arm around me and was soothing me was a shock to Sebastian too, as he spat out, “Go take care of her and the baby.”
“Sure, anyone is better than the real thing. Go run. You’re good at that.”
Wow, this was really messing with my head. I never knew that Dwayne felt that way about Sebastian.
He hesitated as Sebastian spun around and walked to his car. Cussing all the way to it with his keys in his hand and waving his hands up and down.
“You okay?” Dwayne whispered.
I nodded, and we watched Sebastian drive off.
Dwayne said, “Come inside. My parents are asleep—they could sleep through anything. If we had an earthquake they would sleep through that.”
I laughed, and as he smiled I realized that was what he wanted from me. To relax. It had worked for a brief moment, so I took a deep breath and went inside his house.
23
“ Y ou really surprised me ,” Dwayne blurted out as I sat on a stool and he made a sandwich. I hesitated to look at him. I wondered if I had disappointed him too. I wouldn´t be surprised. I felt like a failure all around.
He continued to talk. “You managed to spend the whole year avoiding every guy that looked at you.”
I nodded he was right. I had done that.
“But the one guy that treated you like dirt—you gave in to him. Not just once, but a good few times.” He laughed to himself. “Now you are paying the price.”
He had summed it all up in a nutshell.
There could only be one answer. “Lust.” I repeated it to get it clear in my head.
“You lust after men.” He sighed as he sat down next to me and drank a soda. I started to devour the sandwich, and as quick as it was placed in front of me, it was gone. Yep, I had a heavy appetite. I didn´t know if it was the pregnancy or just nerves.
“I wanted the one guy that all girls dream about. You know, the moody one. The bad one. The—”
“You mean not guys like me.” He lifted his hand up, probably insulted by what I was saying, but he took it
22
A s I drove , I repeated to myself over and over again, “You can do this. Be strong. Be strong.” The words fell apart as I got to Dwayne´s drive and Sebastian was outside having a cigarette. Probably relieved at the idea that he wasn´t the father.
He was such a prick. I bet that was the first thing that went through his mind.
Great, I´m not the daddy. I can go to college and fuck whoever I want
.“So, why didn´t you tell them the truth?” He walked up to me as I parked the car. He didn´t even give me a chance to shut the door.
“Hello to you too, Sebastian.” I puffed as I slammed the car door shut. His arrogance and anger were both getting on my nerves big time.
“You told them about Roger. What the fuck? You think they´ll never find out?” He was following me like a bulldog ready to pounce and attack as soon as I retaliated. Pregnancy had taken its toll on me. I was only a few months, yet I was approaching my second trimester. I was supposed to be full of energy, but I felt the complete opposite.
“Maybe because you dumped me at the abortion clinic!” I screamed, because I hated the way he was playing innocent. How dare he question me.
“You´ve obviously decided to keep the baby. So why not tell the truth!”
He was beginning to sound like a broken record. Repeating the same information. Ignoring the way that he had treated me.
Dwayne came and gently pulled me to the side. “Sebastian, she doesn´t need this. If I had known that this was why you dragged her out here, I would have told you to fuck off!”
I was shocked by Dwayne´s words. I never expected him to stick up for me. I thought he would take his friend´s side. The way he had his arm around me and was soothing me was a shock to Sebastian too, as he spat out, “Go take care of her and the baby.”
“Sure, anyone is better than the real thing. Go run. You’re good at that.”
Wow, this was really messing with my head. I never knew that Dwayne felt that way about Sebastian.
He hesitated as Sebastian spun around and walked to his car. Cussing all the way to it with his keys in his hand and waving his hands up and down.
“You okay?” Dwayne whispered.
I nodded, and we watched Sebastian drive off.
Dwayne said, “Come inside. My parents are asleep—they could sleep through anything. If we had an earthquake they would sleep through that.”
I laughed, and as he smiled I realized that was what he wanted from me. To relax. It had worked for a brief moment, so I took a deep breath and went inside his house.
23
“ Y ou really surprised me ,” Dwayne blurted out as I sat on a stool and he made a sandwich. I hesitated to look at him. I wondered if I had disappointed him too. I wouldn´t be surprised. I felt like a failure all around.
He continued to talk. “You managed to spend the whole year avoiding every guy that looked at you.”
I nodded he was right. I had done that.
“But the one guy that treated you like dirt—you gave in to him. Not just once, but a good few times.” He laughed to himself. “Now you are paying the price.”
He had summed it all up in a nutshell.
There could only be one answer. “Lust.” I repeated it to get it clear in my head.
“You lust after men.” He sighed as he sat down next to me and drank a soda. I started to devour the sandwich, and as quick as it was placed in front of me, it was gone. Yep, I had a heavy appetite. I didn´t know if it was the pregnancy or just nerves.
“I wanted the one guy that all girls dream about. You know, the moody one. The bad one. The—”
“You mean not guys like me.” He lifted his hand up, probably insulted by what I was saying, but he took it
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