Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side by Beth Fantaskey

throne?
     
    Getting to the main point of my missive, though. Could you please release, say, an additional 23,000 lei — equivalent to about 10,000 American dollars — from my trust? I am interested in making a small purchase, related, of course, to my courtship of Antanasia. Although I may use a minor portion to buy a small store of red meat.
     
    Thank you in advance for your generosity.
     
    Your nephew,
    Lucius
     
    P.S. Basketball practice will soon begin. Perhaps you would like to fly over and attend a game?
     
    Perhaps not.
     
     
    Chapter 11
     
    "WHY DOESN'T LUCIUS have to help with the dishes?" I complained, handing Mom a dripping plate. "He eats with us. He could help clean up. And I'm tired of doing his laundry, too. He always whines about the starch. Who even uses starch?"
     
    "I understand your frustration, Jessica." Mom swiped the plate with a towel. "But your father and I have discussed this, and we both think Lucius is having enough difficulty adjusting to life in the United States without giving him chores, too."
     
    "He's adjusted just fine. Too fine, if you ask me."
     
    "Don't mistake Lucius's swagger for happiness," Mom said. "His life is altered dramatically enough without forcing him to do extra work that would be done by servants in his home."
     
    "Or so he claims."
     
    Mom laughed. "Regardless of what you think about Lucius's . . . er, vampireness—"
     
    "I think it's a bunch of bull—" I caught myself. "I mean, garbage."
     
    "Regardless, Lucius does come from a very wealthy, privileged background."
     
    I swished around in the soapy water, feeling for sunken silverware. "How privileged? Honestly? Because sometimes I wonder about the polo ponies and the trips to Vienna."
     
    "Oh, I wouldn't be surprised, Jessica," Mom said. "The Vladescu family lives on quite an impressive estate. It's a castle, really. High in the Carpathian Mountains."
     
    "A castle?" Nobody lives in castles except in Disney movies. "And you've seen this 'castle'?"
     
    "Only the exterior, which was imposing enough," Mom said. "We weren't allowed inside. The Vladescus were not the most accessible of vampires ..." It seemed as if she was going to expand on that but changed her mind. "The Dragomirs were more welcoming."
     
    We were veering too close to a discussion of my birth parents. "What did it look like? The castle?"
     
    Mom smiled. "This is the first time I've sensed that you're intrigued by anything related to Lucius."
     
    I rinsed some knives. "Just by his house."
     
    Mom tossed the towel over her shoulder and leaned against the counter. "Not by Lucius? Even a little bit?"
     
    I recognized the subtle suggestion in her voice. "Mom! No."
     
    "Jessica . .. you must admit, Lucius is a physically attractive young man, and he's clearly interested in you. It would only be natural if you evinced some interest in return. It wouldn't be anything to be ashamed of."
     
    Dunking a casserole dish, I scrubbed at some lentils that had fused to the sides during baking. "He thinks he's a vampire, Mom."
     
    "That doesn't change the fact that Lucius Vladescu is a charming, powerful, wealthy, good-looking boy."
     
    I recalled the feel of Lucius's strong hand brushing against my cheek the night we'd met. That fluttery feeling in the pit of my stomach. And the fact that he had actually voiced his intention to bite my neck. "Have you ever seen me look at Lucius with anything but disgust? Seriously?"
     
    Mom smiled. "You'd be surprised how often disgust turns to lust." There was a knowing look in her eyes. As if she had just read my mind as I'd recalled Lucius touching my face.
     
    I blushed. "That sounds like alchemy. Which is about as real as vampires."
     
    "Oh, Jessica." Mom sighed. "What is love if not a form of alchemy? There are forces in this universe that we just can't explain."
     
    Yes. Forces like the time-twisting gravity of a black hole. And the endless string of pi zooming out across the universe. Those were